


MadloveforRK one-shots

by onlyinhindsight



Series: MadloveforRK Writings [1]
Category: Twilight RPF
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-03 21:59:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 68
Words: 45,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4116346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlyinhindsight/pseuds/onlyinhindsight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An archive of all the one-shots and scenes I've written as dninja on MadloveforRK. There's cheese, angst, and some (not much) smut here. Did I mention cheese? I didn't realize I could write so fluffily.</p><p>MadloveforRK is a writing group on tumblr, on which we'd attempt to tackle and post responses to prompts/demands/wishes/challenges from other fans and shippers of R and K. Sometimes writing felt like drilling holes into my own brain, but other times, I was actually pleased with the results. Whether I love them or hate them, I'm archiving everything I wrote here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hey! I'm really amazed by your work! You guys are awesome! Here's my new request: I really love on the road and I would like to read about rob and Kristen watching it together. Thank you in advance.

It wasn’t a question of if he would like it. He had told her he could never hate anything that allowed him to see her as she was meant to be seen onscreen. She was more proud of this film than anything she’d ever done, and she knew she’d done her best work so far. Maybe she was feeling too confident as she drove him to the private screening with Walter and the few cast members who could make it. Doubts crept in despite his constant faith in her abilities. What would he think.

What is he thinking. Kristen’s leg started to shake as she wondered and fought the impulse to watch Rob instead of Marylou tempting Sal into a threesome with Dean. He was so quiet. Too quiet. A few times she wondered if he was still beside her. She kept her sight squarely on the screen, her leg still doing a jitterbug on its own. If it weren’t for his hand suddenly on her thigh and the added caress of his thumb, she would’ve kept at it, but she stilled and let out deep breath. She smirked to herself when she heard him softly laugh at Carlo and Marylou mock each other’s mad obsession with Dean, knowing all too well he was remembering Kristen and Tom’s mad obsession while preparing for the film.

She didn’t shift her focus again until the final beat of the last line. She couldn’t imagine a more perfect adaptation of her favorite book, and she shook her head a little as if to clear it. When she looked at Rob, she couldn’t help mirroring his grin.

“You’re perfect.”


	2. I would love to read about when Kristen first visited London and Rob's family! What did they do and what did the family say they thought of Kristen afterwards?

Clare couldn’t recall much about that night. It was a spectacle. She’d witnessed the premiere for the Harry Potter film that her Robbie appeared in. Nobody yelled her son’s name so loudly and demandingly then. He didn’t pose for nearly as many pictures, nor was he expected to smile and chat with so many people. Like his father, the boy was charming, but his mother could tell he was exhausted and that it all was starting to wear on him. Nobody wanted to break it to him that it was just the beginning. They wanted him to believe it was like a camera’s flash, and when the grand tour was over he could go back into relative anonymity.

It was a whirlwind and as much as Clare’s eyes took in, as much as they tried to memorize every detail, the only thing she could remember all too clearly the next morning was her son nervously introducing his co-star. Kristen Stewart. The name was familiar and not just because the event and the film, but she felt like she’d heard it before. Maybe from Sammy or Marcus. If she could push her mind to remember that fully, she’d probably see her son’s reddening face and silly rough-housing that followed.

“Mom, Dad …. this is Kristen. She’s….”

“Bella. Son, you didn’t say she was this beautiful.” Richard held out his hand to the girl who suddenly looked more vulnerable than the bold fierceness her hair, make-up, and outfit would suggest. He slyly kissed her hand.

“Stop, you’re going to make them sink into the ground.” Clare elbowed her husband and took in her son next to this girl who also seemed to be fighting to hide the exhaustion. These poor kids. Maybe I should ask Robert to invite her to a home-cooked meal with us as soon as this is over. “I hope my Robbie hasn’t given you a hard time.”

“Ma…” Rob groaned as Kristen mouthed the name “Robbie” and started to laugh.

“No, um. No, Mrs. Pattinson. He’s been perfectly well behaved. The best. Really.”

“Oh, I’m teasing. Mostly.” She winked. “Call me Clare. I should be thanking you, I hear.”

“What do you—”

“I did say she was beautiful.” Rob chimed in several beats too late causing his parents to laugh and Kristen to look off to the side in thought. She’d leave her interrupted question unanswered. Something told her knowing wouldn’t make her life easier right now.

“I think they’re starting to seat everyone. I should probably go find…” She looked at Rob guiltily for reasons Clare didn’t understand. “It was nice meeting you both.”

Clare followed the girl with her eyes as her husband and son continued to rib each other. It had been much too long since they’d seen each other. She watched as Kristen was approached by the silly director they’d met earlier whose gushing about Rob would’ve been welcome if she’d kept her hands to herself and a young man who looked unhappy to be there. He grabbed Kristen’s hand, and Clare could’ve sworn the girl’s entire countenance grew rigid. Her sight was blocked by some producer, and then they were all being whisked to their seats.

At the after party, they saw Kristen briefly again with a short wave but the small, frowning boy pulled her away. That must be her boyfriend. If he was just a brother, her son wouldn’t be fighting to keep his attention focused everywhere but one corner of the room, the one corner where his co-star sat beside another man. He was all tight eyes and fake smiles until he’d glance over there and occasionally catch the girl’s eyes as well.

Oh, dear. This isn’t good at all. Clare worried for the girl that she’d barely met, but most of all she worried for her boy’s poor heart.


	3. One of Suzie and kristen talking about the difference between dating a British boy from dating an American one. Oh and jack and rob talking about American Girls. My request is: Kristen and Suzie have a cute girl talk about Rob and Jack xx

Suzie flopped down on the couch next to a frustrated Kristen, who had a guitar in hand and a pen in her mouth. “Whatchya doin’?

Kristen lightly growled around the pen before spitting it out. “I’m trying… pretty fucking terribly to write a song.”

“Well, c’mon. Show me what you got.” Suzie went to grab the notebook beside her.

“Wait, wait, wait… it’s not ready for anyone’s eyes but my own, and it’s only for Rob’s ears. It’s for his birthday, and I had no idea what to get him.”

“You could buy him a box of Wheaties, and he’d love you for it.”

“He hates Wheaties.”

“Exactly my point.”

“Still… he’s always doing incredibly original, sweet shit for me, and I’d like to fucking surprise him with something money can’t buy.”

“Let me see it.”

Kristen groaned, rolling her head back as she let Suzie pry the notebook from her fingers.

Suzie read what had taken her two weeks to write, which was the chorus, one and half verses, and a refrain that really needed some work.

“This is really good, Kris.”

“Yeah?” Suzie looked at her friend who seemed bashful and uncertain, so unlike the bold, confident girl she knew. It wasn’t long ago that she’d wonder where Kristen went in these moments, but now she understood it. Love made you vulnerable and it made you brave.

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?” Kristen put her guitar down beside the couch.

“Embrace loving him even when it makes you weak.”

“I don’t see it that way.” She suddenly wished the guitar was back in her lap. That chorus was finally coming to her now. “I used to. I mean how could I not? I was so sure that I knew everything, and then he showed up and I knew nothing. It felt like weakness, but…”

The two friends grinned at each other. They had it bad for their silly English boyfriends.

“Gosh we’re such traitors.”

“So very unpatriotic.” Suzie tried to keep a straight face, but she giggled remembering. “The other day I caught Jack teaching my brothers Britishisms… bad ones, and now they’re all like ‘slag this, git that.’”

“Just you wait until it starts slipping into your words and pronunciation.”

“I look forward to it.”

“I know I wasn’t the most…” Kristen shook her head thinking of her younger self. “I don’t have much to compare him to. It was all about Michael for the longest time, past its time even… and then I met Rob.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ugh… you know. We joke about it, but dating American guys versus English ones.” She rolled her eyes. She hated admitting her naiveté. It seemed like everyone had done more, dated more, and she could hardly generalize based on the only two major relationships she’d had. She’d done plenty of comparing Rob and Michael in the early days. Rob was always complimenting her, encouraging her, finding ways to help her without expecting a thank you or a favor. Michael was… well, Michael except he’d grown different from the boy she first met. There’s no way she would’ve crushed on someone as cynical and negative as he’d become toward the end. She almost hoped it was her fault, so he’d go back to who he was on the movie set when they met. Someone deserved to have that goofy kid, just like Rob deserved her.

Songwriting really pulled their history to the forefront of her mind. No wonder Rob always seemed needy and horny after writing music.

“Hmm…” Suzie’s contemplation interrupted her thoughts. “It’s all so new, and I have had maybe seven consecutive days with Jack so far, but…”

“Yeah?” Kristen was suddenly eager for girl talk.

“I can’t get mad at anything he says. It’s that adorable as fuck accent.”

“Tell me about it! I swear I was much better at being pissed at Michael, but the fighting with Rob is a lot more fun. The other day, I found myself acting stern because by the time he started explaining himself I was already over the towel being on the floor. Again.”

“Uhh, Kris. I’m pretty sure he knows that.”

“What!”

“Oh yeah, he definitely likes it when you scold him and he’s surprised you’re able to not cave so quickly.”

“That arse!”

“I know.”

“Fuck, I love him.”

“I know.”

“It’s not just the sex, but … fuck.”

“I so fucking know.”

—-

“What do you think the girls are talking about?” Rob could’ve sworn he’d heard a shout from downstairs as he made his way from the bathroom back to his little home studio.

Jack shuddered at the possibilities. “I don’t want to know, mate. Girl talk is something I’m happy to be in the dark about.”

“You really think they’re talking about us?”

“Definitely. We’re talking about them right now. Why wouldn’t they talk about us?”

“Damn. Fair point.” Rob watched as Jack tinkered with the sound mixer and told Marcus to play from the second refrain again. “How’s it going anyway?”

“Great. You?”

“Same.” Rob grinned. “It’s hard to believe some days.”

Jack nodded. He could relate. “Is it usually this… easy?”

Rob thought back to when he first met Kristen and wanted for her for a long while after that. He wouldn’t call that easy at all, but something told him Jack wasn’t referring to that. He was sure Jack and Suzie were well aware that being apart wasn’t always easy, but it made the reunions pretty fucking sweet.

“I mean, American girls… or I don’t know, man. Perhaps it’s L.A. girls. They’re so…”

“Fucking cool.” Rob smiled in understanding.

“They’re cool without taking any shit. Is that American girls in general then?” Jack wasn’t so sure. He’d met plenty of Americans while touring with Marcus. None could hold a candle to Suzie, but he’d been warned about how some of Marcus, Sam, and Bobby’s fanbase could get, so he tended to steer clear of getting pulled into any long interactions by himself.

“You’re asking me like I know? That’s a question for Bobby. I just know there’s nobody who will do it for me like Kristen.”

“Yeah, man. You’re lucky.”

“And so are you. Suzie’s one cool chick. Second to my girl.”

“Oh, so it’s like that then?” Jack pretended to get offended.

“Always has been.” Rob readied himself for another pointless duel of who had the best girl.

“Are you wankers even listening to me right now or are you too busy chatting like a couple of girls?”

The moment broken, Rob and Jack tried to look ashamed but quickly descended into a laughing fit.

“Ah, fuck, I’m happy for you two even if you’re no good, giggling fools now."


	4. i’ve always wanted a RPF about RK hanging at a friends house and the friend having someone new over, a girl, who will flirt with Rob all night and K being jealous and just the diff stages of her anger until she claims her man in front of the girl.

“Who’s that over there next to Rob?” Kristen leaned toward CJ’s ear so he could hear her over the music and drunken chatter.

“Who? Where?” CJ said a little too loudly while twisting his body to look in Rob’s direction.

“Shhhh, wait.” Kristen laughed at his lack of subtlety. It was one of the many things that endeared her and Rob to him, but in this case, she needed CJ to learn stealth quickly. “That blonde to his right. Who just put her hand. On his arm.”

CJ looked at his friend, surprised. Did she just growl? Was little miss cool, calm, and collected … jealous? He tried to recall how many beers she’d had. Only two. With that settled, he glanced up to see Rob talking to Kassie’s new boyfriend and some girl. She tossed her hair back and laughed too loudly at something Rob said. “Whoa.”

“Right? I’m not imagining it, am I?”

“Definitely not. Home girl, is trying way too fucking hard. I’m surprised she didn’t break her neck with that flip.”

“I’m not even angry. Fucking bitch.”

“Right.” CJ looked at her with his girl-who-do-you-think-you’re-fooling face.

“Really.” Her eyes rolled. “I’m just appalled. I know she knows I’m here. She glanced at me twice. It’s so fucking obvious we’re together. And there she goes thrusting her tits at MY man.” She could tell Rob was being polite, trying very hard not to look down.

“Bitch.”

“So you agree I should do something.” By now Kassie’s boyfriend was pulled away into another conversation, and the girl was leaning further into Rob’s personal space. Rob leaned back, but he was stuck. If he stood up, his crotch would inadvertently get in her face.

Kristen walked off in Rob’s direction before CJ could reply. “Oh shit.” He needed to find back up in case this got into girl fight territory. He was pretty sure he’d seen that girl walk in with two others. He went to find Scout and Suzie.

“Baby, there you are!” Kristen plopped down on the couch in the small space between him and the flirty ho, as she’d taken to calling the girl in her head. She made sure to shove her small frame as hard as possible, forcing the flirty ho to move back. The flirty ho huffed, causing Kristen to smirk and Rob to look down at Kristen with a shocked yet pleased look on his face.

She raised her bitchiest brow at the skank. She couldn’t decide which name liked for her more—Flirty Ho or Tits McGee—now that she got a closer look and could see just how closely this woman was sitting next to her obviously uninterested boyfriend.

Kristen pretended she had more alcohol in her than she really did and leaned up to make out her boyfriend more than she normally would around so many unfamiliar faces. She loved the way he groaned into her mouth and gripped her left hip harder, and she was surprised how much she enjoyed sending a little message to the flirty ho. She pulled away and went to look behind her. Kristen was surprised she hadn’t even heard her leave.

“Aw…” She pouted. “You didn’t get a chance to introduce me to your new friend. Tits McGee.”

“Tits McGee… I’m pretty sure she introduced herself as Sasha.” She giggled as Rob made her shiver with little kisses on her neck

“Oh, would you like me to retrieve Sasha for you then?” She moved to get up, but he quickly adjusted his legs to lock her against him and pulled her closer.

“No, unless getting her over here means you’ll keep kissing me.”

Kristen raised an eyebrow at him. “I don’t need her for that. Unless you do?”

—-

“I’m telling you there’s about to be a catfight on the premises. I’ve never seen her like this.”

CJ led the way to where he’d last seen Rob and stopped in his tracks.

“Well, you’re right about one thing. I’ve never seen her so … demonstrative at a party like this, but I’m pretty sure we have a case of cats in heat.” Scout was about to laugh until she caught a motion to her right. “Hey! You take that picture with your camera, good luck ever getting another invite here again.”

She snatched the phone out of the wannabe pap’s hand and deleted the two pics he’d taken so far. Luckily they were too dark and blurry. “I know who you are, so if you sent them, you will be sued. Now get the fuck out. That goes for the rest of you nosy fuckers who don’t know.”

“Damn, Scout. Remind me not to get on your bad side.”

“Look at her. She’s happy and actually letting her guard down to make out and claim her man like a normal girl. You want some asshole to make her regret tomorrow if anyone thinks of selling a pic to highest bidder?”

CJ didn’t have to reply because seeing his two friends laughing quietly together in between kisses was enough of an answer for him and the rest of the people in the room. You didn’t want to mess with that.


	5. Can you please write one where Rob goes down on Kristen and leaves beard burn on her thighs and then she goes to the pool with her friends and they see the beard burn and tease her about it? Thanks.

Today was the day he absolutely had to shave according to Nick. He’d put it off as long as possible, and he’d hoped that Kristen would’ve been there to give the beard a proper send off. He’d been awake for twenty minutes, but it hadn’t been enough time to get over the disappointment of waking up without Kristen beside him and having to get rid of his morning wood alone. With his hand wrapped around himself, he was thinking about their first time in a limo when he heard the bedroom door click shut.

“Thank fucking Christ.” He moaned when he saw Kristen near the edge of the bed. He jumped up so he was on his knees and reached to bring her closer.

She stepped out his reach and shook her head no even while her eyes were still riveted on his hand moving over his cock. He didn’t stop touching himself. He knew exactly what watching him did to her.

“The girls…” She swallowed. “They’re downstairs waiting for me.”

“Yeah.” He slicked his thumb over his head and watched as her nipples hardened under a thin white tee of his that he’d worn yesterday. Fuck. He loved that.

His eyes narrowed at the apex of her thighs. He wanted to taste her and then he wanted to fuck her. Last night they’d made love sweetly anticipating the next couple of weeks apart, but right now he needed her hard and fast. After he had a taste. “They can wait.” She nodded. Hypnosis via masturbation, he almost smirked at the thought, knowing his girl would probably smack him and leave if she could hear his smug thoughts. “Please.” He whimpered.

That did it. She crashed into him as if they’d been apart for months instead of hours. He nearly came when she touched him, but it only served to remind him what he needed in that moment. “I want you on top of me. I need you to ride my fucking face.” Her eyes nearly rolled to the back of her head at his forceful tone, and he didn’t have to beg her to take off clothes after that. She came apart above him, and he never felt a moment as perfect as her thighs quivering in his hands around his face as he gazed up at her pert nibbles and her mouth unable to keep secret how good he made her feel any longer. He never felt more like a man than he did in that moment.

She left Rob in the shower after helping him shave, which was more like watching him, but he claimed to need her company. So she sat on the counter and watched as he expertly removed his beard. She’d miss it, but she kissed his chin and lovingly rubbed his smooth jaw. She missed this, too.

Preparing herself for the teasing (she’d taken much longer upstairs than retrieving a bathing suit would require), Kristen stepped out back with a towel around her waist.

“Sorry I took so long. Rob wanted me to help him shave his beard. Nick said the Grizzly Adams look had to go before Saturday.”

“No problem, chica,” said Suzie.

“Yeah, we’ve just been—” Kassie’s eyes widened when Kristen dropped her towel near the edge of the pool. “Yowza.”

“Did you just say yowza?”

“Excuse me while I figure out what word fits this occasion.”

“What occasion?” Kristen was confused by what caused her friends’ reactions. It was a new suit. Maybe it made her look curvier, but she was sure she’d worn similar cuts before.

“Damn, girl!” CJ finally got a look at what had rendered Kassie and Suzie speechless. “You shave his beard with your thighs?”

“Oh, fucking hell.” Kristen looked down and saw the tell-tale reddening of her thighs.

“What is what it will feel like when you put on jeans for $300, Alex?” Kass finally cleared her head enough to crack jokes.

Kristen couldn’t think of anything to do except jump in the pool and hope that they ran out of jokes by the time she came up for air. They didn’t.


	6. hi:) this is my second request:) thank you for the first about RK meeting Marlowe:) i love your blog:) could you please write something about Kristen giving an interview and letting it slip that she's pregnant with Rob's baby??

Pregnancy hormones and loose fucking lips. After all of her warnings to Rob and their friends to keep their mouths sealed tight, of course she’d be the one to spill. She couldn’t decide which would be worse. The teasing she’d surely get from all of them, or the insanity that would ensue once the story broke. And she could tell by the interviewer’s twinkling eyes that the story would definitely go public sooner than fucking possible. She dialed Ruth, hoping they could suppress it or at least control how it would be released somewhat.

It was a stupid little question that caused the lapse. She didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. For some reason it was easier to let her guard down during interviews for print. Maybe it was the lack of cameras and the laid back environments they always selected to make her feel more comfortable talking to a stranger about herself. The interviewer was young and smart to bring her into a record store.

Angling to score some mention of the elusive Mr. Pattinson, Alyssa asked what they were listening to lately. The soft smile that graced Kristen’s face surprised her, and if she hadn’t been so intrigued by what that look meant , she might have seen Kristen’s hand go to her barely noticeable baby bump. Not that it mattered, considering the words that flowed out of Kristen’s mouth so easily.

“Well, Rob is insistent that the baby only hear quality music, so I’m afraid no Miley Cyrus these days.”

Alyssa failed to hold in her gasp. “So you’re expecting? How far along are you?”

“Oh, shit.”

“Are you trying to cut down on the cussing as well?”

Two weeks later..

Text from Joshy Josh: So you couldn’t give me that exclusive? First, armpits. Then the marriage and now the baby. I’m beginning to think you don’t love me. ;) Congratulations!

Text from Krissy: Here’s an exclusive for you. We’re expecting a girl. Merry Christmas.


	7. RK getting high at coachella! pleeeeaaase :)

“Baybeee, the only thing I love more than this burger Animal Style is you … animal style.” Rob giggled at his clever romancing and leaned in to land a kiss on his favorite girl’s cheek.

She leaned away, causing him to pout. She would’ve kissed him then except she didn’t feel the need to get closely acquainted with the food still in his mouth.

“Chew. Your. Food.” She punctuated each word with a kiss on each of his cheeks and a final one on the bridge of his nose.

He sighed happily and chewed as he was told before taking another huge bite.

Kristen shook her head and took in the pink on his cheeks. “I knew pre-gaming before Coachella was bad idea. You’re lucky you’re so cute when you’re drunk.”

“Amnot drunk.” He burped. “I’m in love—“ her heart pounded a little faster at his words –“ with this burger,” he finished with a wink.

If the food hadn’t soaked up some of the booze, the paps with their zoom lenses and wannabes pausing with their camera phones held out had a sobering effect as Rob, Kristen, and their friends immediately went into hyperaware, protective mode.

Once it got darker, one close friend slid a joint in Kristen’s hand and advised them to “calm the fuck down because y’all are harshin’ my buzz.” They leaned into each other as the weed slowly eased its way through their senses.

He looked down at his girl gently swaying to the sounds coming from the stage. She had a content smile on her face, and he was once again awestruck that he was really there living this moment with this girl. As if knowing exactly what he needed to convince himself that he wouldn’t wake up in a flat alone, Kristen stood on her tip-toes and leaned toward his ear.

“I love you, too … animal style.”


	8. Hey! Can you please write an RPF when Rob and Kristen are in their house and a pap breaks in and they get really freaked out- like the whole going downstairs with a baseball bat kind of thing! Thank you x

“Well, you’ve really done it now, Kris.”

The disheveled couple stared down at the wailing man in their living room. They’d only had enough time to throw on the clothes they’d discarded on the floor earlier after they heard the crash from the first floor. Bear and Bernie barked and whined nervously near the stairs. The sound of the gun spooked them, but they were concerned for their mommy and daddy.

“Police. Then Ruth and Nick.”

“Already on it.” Rob waited for the dispatch to pick up. “I need to report a break-in … No, he’s still here … Um, my wife kinda shot him in the ass.” He grinned at Kristen who was calmly putting the safety back on her Beretta Nano. Damn, he almost grew hard at the sight, but he didn’t want to give their unwanted company a show.

“Just wait, you evil bitch! I’m gonna sue you for every cent you have.”

“I’d like to see you try.” She turned on her heel and went to console her babies.

Rob waited until she was out of ear shot before crouching down to look the pap in the eye. “You really shouldn’t speak to my wife like that because I’ve spoken quite publicly about how much I’d love to shoot one of you scummy bastards, and it looks like she took my one chance. Maybe.”

He smirked at the visibly frightened man and stood back up to finish his calls. It wasn’t wise to make threats in this situation, but he accepted that he’d hear it from Nick and Kris later. He didn’t miss the wetness pooling in her eyes as she left the room. She may have worn a calm façade in front of the pap, but Rob knew his wife was freaked out that someone could enter their home and get that close.

He swore he would hold her tightly once everything was settled.


	9. Hey !!! thank you so much for your job, it's amazing to read it, always waiting for the updates!! can you make a story about the first time Rob met Kristen's friends :) thank you!! hugs, V.

“Why are you so nervous all of a sudden? I thought you said they’d love me….” Rob pulled Kristen in his arms outside the kitchen where her closest friends were waiting. Scout, he’d already met, and while their interactions had been limited, she’d given no indication of hating him. In fact, she didn’t seem sold on an opinion of him either way. Suddenly, he was wary of what was waiting for him.

Seeing where his thoughts were going, Kristen shook her head fervently. “No, no … they will!. I’m sure of it. I’m just not sure if this was the right way to go about it.” Maybe she should’ve introduced them to Rob one at a time, like he had with her and his friends, although that had been more out of necessity and opportunity than anything.

“Nothing we can do about that now, right, sweetums?”

She grimaced at the pet name. He’d been trying several out to see which would stick. “Let’s just…” she pointed her thumb over her shoulder. “And no pet names, please! I’ll never hear the end of it with them.”

Rob grew up with two older sisters and a mum who ran the house, but that didn’t prevent him from pausing mid-step at the sight in the kitchen.

There stood four small, yet intimidating girls not unlike his Kristen, but still unique in each of their own ways, and one larger male. Rob was relieved to recognize him. He’d cut his hair once when he’d whined to Kristen that he was sick of being Mr. Sex Hair. She’d texted the directions to barber shop with a frowning emoticon. Her friends introduced themselves. Suzie. Kassie. Lindsey. Scout and CJ simply waved, knowing Rob recognized them.

Unable to take the awkward silence, Scout clapped her hands together. “This doesn’t have to be so weird.”

“Maybe it should be though.” The one called Lindsey looked at him suspiciously. Rob gulped at her stare. Kris said they’d love me Kris said they’d love me Kris said they’d love me.

“Oh, shush, we never gave your man a hard time.” Suzie narrowed her eyes at the mousey, brown-haired girl while somehow still smiling.

Rob was grateful for her presence and Kassie’s even though he’d never met them before. They put him at ease and their questions and faces didn’t make him feel like he was being ripped apart in their minds. For the life of him, he didn’t understand what he did to deserve that one girl’s beady stare down. He could tell Kristen was annoyed as well and the rest of them tried to carry on a conversation as if Kristen and Lindsey weren’t having a silent duel of the bitchfaces.

“Rob.” Lindsey suddenly turned to stare at him and smiled. His stomach flipped. “You’re really pretty.”

That wasn’t what he expected to hear. “Thanks…. I guess.”

“So you agree? You think you’re pretty?”

The rest of the table cracked up, including Lindsey. Shoulders relaxed and laughing or bitchfaced and sarcastic, he could see why she was so close with Kristen. Taking in Rob’s confused face, CJ explained that they’d had a movie marathon the night before and had been quoting from Mean Girls all day. This got them on the topic of movies—the good, bad, and the down-right naughty. Her friends had longed to hear the details of what led to Rob and Kristen’s watching Last Tango in Paris not long after they’d first met. Kristen had been tight-lipped and red-faced about it whenever they’d brought it up before.

“To be honest, I just really wanted in her knickers.”

A loud snort came from Lindsey’s direction. “You’ll do,” she mouthed at him with a small apologetic grin for giving him a hard time all evening.

Rob smiled in acknowledgment before kissing Kristen on the side of her forehead. “I love your friends,” he whispered.

“They’re pretty fucking great.” She was happy to share with him. His friends had embraced her as one of their own, and she hoped her circle of LA homies would be a nice stand-in for the close-knit group he often missed. “So are you.”

“Mmmm.” He sighed in contentment at the lively chatter going on around their private moment. “Maybe… one day they’ll be my friends, too.”

“Dude.” Although he’d been talking to Kassie, CJ caught the last bit of Rob’s words. “It’s a done deal. Good luck getting away from us now.”


	10. R/K Bed Manip Picture Request

Kristen curled her head further into Rob’s armpit and groaned. She didn’t want to move from this spot. It took them long enough to get here, but the rising sun and another day at the set loomed in the near future. For the first time since she fell in love with acting, she wanted to play hooky.

“Did you just sniff my armpit?” Rob’s voice was scratchy from sleep and their late night activities that had only ended three hours earlier.

“Would you think it was gross if I did?”

“Actually … no.” He sounded surprised yet oddly satisfied in the realization that she could do anything and he wouldn’t be grossed out. It only served to excite him about the things they’d do now that she was officially his girl in every way. He wanted to kiss, suck, and lick every inch of her. As teenagers, he and Sam giggled over an article about erogenous zones, secretly taking notes in their heads. Didn’t it say something about armpits?

“Good.” Kristen smiled to herself and softly bit his side just underneath his armpit, causing him to squirm and laugh. He was ticklish and retaliated. “Stop, stop, stop! I’m going to piss myself! Be careful what you start, little girl.”

“Ha ha.” She went to roll out from under him when he grabbed her.

“Wait, Kris.” He looked at her sheepishly. “Before we get off this bed and into that world out there, can we do one small thing.”

“Awwww, poor baby. I wouldn’t call it small.”

“Not that! Geesh, damn right, it’s not.” He took a deep breath to gather courage. She’s going to tell me to fuck off. “Canwetakeapicinbedtogether? Please.”

“What?”

“Remember that fake photo that made Michael act like an arse?” He hated mentioning that prick in their bed, especially after last night. “The one that replaced Tom and Nettie’s faces with ours?”

“Um. Yeah.”

“I just … fuck, I remember hating that it gave you such grief, but I wanted it to be real. I wanted that. Badly.”

Her eyes welled up with unshed tears, thinking of what he must’ve felt during that time. “Yeah, yeah… okay!” She laughed at his huge grin and at how quickly he reached for his phone on the nightstand.

It took them several tries, but eventually he managed to take one that wasn’t blurry or hadn’t chopped their heads off in the process. He saved them all.

After a shared shower and sneaking out separately only to meet again in the car that would take them to the set, Kristen elbowed a smiling Rob who was staring goofily at his cell phone. She raised her eyebrow, silently telling him to take the lovesick down a notch.

“Someone sending you sexts this early?” Ashley teased with a smidge of envy.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Rob leaned in to whisper in Kristen’s ear. “Ours are better.”

Knowing that nobody had a clue what she was responding to, she didn’t bother with the subterfuge.

“Of course.”


	11. Hey! Prompt: Rob and Kirsten have announced they are expecting. Maybe some girl talk between Kris and Suzie or the girls at lunch over how close ‘BOTH’ their kids will be or concerns about raising kids in the entertainment business. Thank you!

Kristen and Suzie lounged on the back deck. It was a rare quiet day in the Stewart-Pattinson home. The house wasn’t bustling with all their friends. Rob was away on set, and Jack was in the studio. Scout was in Disneyland with her latest love. Again. And CJ—bless him—was out getting the girls desserts from the corner bistro that was their mutual craving of the last hour.

“Are you worried about how they’re gonna to handle a little human around the house?” Suzie motioned Kristen’s first and second babies Bear and Bernie—one near her feet and the other dozing behind her chair.

Kristen looked unconcerned and smiled at a memory with her hand caressing her stomach. “Rob’s been a little worried, so he’s taken to talking to them about the baby and ‘making introductions’ as he calls it.”

Suzie’s eyes crinkled as she laughed at that image. The word ‘introductions’ jogged her memory and she reached for the bag she’d tossed aside before she sat down gracelessly. “Oh! I almost forgot! My brother made something for you… well, us really.” Suzie held up a gray, screen-printed onesie with the words “Showbiz Kid” in the center of a star.

“Awww.” Kristen reached for it and placed it on her lap. She marveled at the smallness of the size.

“Do you like?”

“I love it. Tell him I said thanks?”

“Will do. I wasn’t sure if you would… you know the whole showbiz kid thing.” She trailed off, knowing that her camera-shy, famous friend didn’t like to think about the craziness that still followed them, especially once the baby bump became undeniable. She and Jack had experienced some level of scrutiny thanks in large part to the persistence of Rob and Kristen’s fans and also Jack’s burgeoning career. He had his own legion of fans after Marcus’s previous album attracted more attention for the talented duo outside of being close friends with Rob Pattinson.

“I’m so grateful that I’m going through this with you, Suz.” Kristen absent-mindedly traced the letters on the onesie. “It makes me hope that our kids will look out for each other.”

“I want the same thing. We live in a crazy—“

“Fucked up world. I worry. I mean, I grew up in this business. I saw and experienced a lot of shit, but I was on the periphery of all that, so it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. It’s different for kids whose parents are….” She struggled to say the words.

“Pop culture icons?”

“Ugh. Don’t say that shit. Just you wait.”

“What? I didn’t say I’m not worried. Jack is great. He’s solid, but the music business is another side of shady.”

Kristen played with her wedding band and let out a puff of air. “I know this question is so played out, but what if our kids want…”

“We don’t really have a choice.” Suzie’s lips tightened.

“Yeah… well,” Kristen prepared to lighten the discussion. “They’ll be pretty lucky to have us and their dads.”

“Not to mention the aunts, uncles, grandparents, god-parents…”

“In the meantime, how fucking cute will our kids look rocking this get-up?”

“The fucking cutest.”


	12. Finally I got a chance to asn my request. Hate dif time zones. Anyways, can you make a story of kristen first meeting of robs sister? Thanks guys

The words I wish I was a little bit taller went through Kristen’s head when she and Rob approached the two statuesque, gorgeous blondes. She tried to remember which was which. Although Lizzy and Victoria weren’t twins, they looked nearly identical at first glance. Victoria’s the one with the mole. Wait no, Lizzy is! Kristen smirked to herself triumphantly but quickly schooled her face to look a little less smug. Great. Now they probably think the rumors are true.

She was surprised when Lizzy pulled her into a hug and released her, only to be embraced by Victoria.

“So, you’re the reason our little Claudia is growing up.” Victoria stepped back to look Kristen in the eye. It wasn’t a challenging stare. There was acceptance and something else she couldn’t define. Perhaps one day she’d be close enough to the Pattinson sisters to know, but she wouldn’t let herself think that far into the future. She didn’t want to jinx it.

Kristen quietly laughed at the nickname as Rob started to protest. She filed that away for later. Always looking for ways to tease and taunt him. Her cheeks grew warm, and she could feel Rob’s hand slip into hers.

“Yeah,”—she cleared her throat—”I guess I am.”


	13. Thanks guys for making this blog. I love reading your works. So heres my request: Rob being the strict parent and Kristen teasing him for it

With two more appearances to go, Kristen was anxious for the press tour to end. She and Ruth had forced the studio to compromise at six international events instead of the originally proposed fifteen, but it still felt like six too many.

“So, how do your husband and kids cope with you being away?”

She stared at the interviewer in surprise. They’d specified that there would be no personal questions. It’s not that she didn’t want to talk about them, but she didn’t want her family to become the story. She managed a “quite fine” without gritting her teeth before Ruth stepped in.

“What the fuck?” Kristen let out her exasperation as soon the door closed.

“I know. Fucker slipped one in at the last minute. Last interview we do with that blog.” As she spoke, Ruth made notes on her iPhone. “How are you coping? Need a break?”

“Yeah, um actually, Rob messaged me earlier. He only said to call asap, but…”

“No need to explain. Text me when you’re done.”

The phone rang six times before her husband answered. His voice was tired and relieved. “Kris! I’m so glad you called. I need you. Are sure you can’t hop on a plane tonight?”

“You know I would if I could, babe. What’s going on?”

“Everything is going to shit without you. Colton’s been lying about doing his homework again, and Avery is protesting bed time. She was doing so well before you left. I swear they’re testing me. Talk to them?”

She almost caved at his pleading tone. “We talked about this, Robert Thomas Pattinson.”

“Really? You’re going all full-name on me?”

“Well, you do sound a lot like your son when he’s trying to get his way.” She teased. “You said you could handle being the law man. You were pretty sure of yourself, mister. You even showed me how well you can give orders that night.” Her voice lowered even though she was the only one in the room, and he gave a little grunt at the memory.

“I was wrong. We’re all at your mercy.”

Kristen giggled. He must be desperate. “You’ll have to put your foot down, babe. You think I like confronting Colton or that it’s easy to resist Avery when her eyes get all wide and her lower lip juts out?”

“You make it look so easy though.”

“Listen, I doubt I could be very effective over the phone. You’re an amazing dad. Colton doesn’t like disappointing you, and Avery wants you to be proud of her. Work with those angles, okay? They’ll still love you tomorrow.”

“And you?”

“Oh, I’ll always love you even when you try to cast me as the bad cop.”

“I just thought I’d try.”

“Uh huh. I’ve gotta get back to it, but I’ll call later. Love you.”

“Love you, too. Now finish up, so you hurry your ass back home to me.” She knew his eagerness wasn’t only about their roles as parents, that he missed being with her just as much as she was missing him.

“Always.”


	14. can you write about kristen and rob talking about dior and balenciaga. thanks!

“I think you should do it.”

“Yeah?” His thoughts drifted to his brief stint modeling in his teens. He’d come a long way from being all awkward gangly limbs. Now he was able to pull off manly, and people wanted that with or without the awkward.

“I’d rather wear holey jeans and your t-shirts, but look at me and Nicolas. With the right person, you might even enjoy it.”

“Admit it. You only want to see me in some sexy ads.”

She shrugged coyly. “I wouldn’t hate it.” She leaned back in the chair across from him, and the way her hand glided up her torso caught his eye.

“You wouldn’t hate it…” He licked his lips, mesmerized by the image of her enjoying the feel of her skin.

“You like looking at photos of me, right?” She was the picture of calm as she slid her hand into her white cotton briefs, seemingly uncaring about the obvious effect she was having on him.

Rob could only nod. He wished she were completely naked for him, but the visual of her hand moving underneath was enough for now. He wanted to keep watching, but he also wanted to lift her up and fuck her on the kitchen table. Later.

“So why wouldn’t it be the same for me? Even in a shoot with other women, I know who you’d rather see.” She gasped a little, and Rob battled internally about whether to look down at her hidden hand or look in her eyes. He could tell with the way she rolled her hips that she was close. “I know who you’d rather fuck.”

As soon as she finished coming, he slammed her onto the table and yanked down her briefs. He wanted to taste her, but she was one step ahead of him as she reached for his cock and urged him closer. This woman always knew exactly what he needed.

They laid there spent for about a minute before the uncomfortable position they were in became all too apparent.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve got a new bruise.”

“I’m sorry, Kris.”

“No apologies for good sex.” She playfully smacked him on his cute ass when he bent over to grab his shorts.

“Woman!”

She danced away from his arms and headed toward the fridge. “I’m starving. You want a sandwich?”

“Yes, please.” He sported a smug grin at how easily they went from steamy to domestic. “I want to eat before I call Nick and say I’ll meet with them.”

He shook his head at the idea of it. Kristen and Balenciaga. He and Dior. The two them were more comfortable nearly naked in their kitchen.


	15. Watching a horror movie and Kristen getting scared / grossed out so he comforts her. thanks!

“Holy shit!” Kristen jumped when the main character wrapped his hands around the older woman’s neck as he yelled in anger. “No, no, no, no.”

She sat frozen, staring as the film’s conclusion became eerily clear. She was creeped the fuck out.

“Ouch. Trying to crush my kneecap, love?”

“Fuck. I’m sorry. I’m just… ugh, that ending.” She visibly shuddered. Blood and guts she could handle just fine. She’d be a bit grossed out, but she could laugh it off. Cinema magic in the form of red corn syrup. No problems. But ghosts and possession? She couldn’t shake off so easily.

“C’mere.”

She eagerly dove into his arms.

“Now, what’s got you so shaken up about this?”

“Everything. When his wife is panicked and running through the house, screaming for him… and the camera and his hand and her face at the end. I don’t know. I was fine until the very end.” She shrugged, not caring if she made little sense. She felt herself calming with each pass of his hand across her back.

“Let’s write a different ending then.”

“Rob… please don’t humor me like a child.” She rolled her eyes.

“I’m not”—he laughed a little at how childlike she seemed just then—“Okay, I admit Mum did this with me once… or a few times. But it worked, I swear.” His cheeks flushed a bit. Here he was confessing to the woman he loves what a nancy boy he’d been.

Kristen sat quietly, considering his approach, before that film’s final image flashed in her eyes again. It was like it was burned into her retinas. She let out a growl, frustrated with herself and burrowed her face into his chest. “Oamokessdis”

His chest shook with laughter. “Didn’t quite catch that, Kris.”

She lifted her head. “I said let’s do this.”

Together they wrote a different ending—one where the father rescues his son and the family lives happily ever after, free from the spirits that would cause them harm. At first, she thought what they were doing was ridiculous, but as she got into it, she had to admit that she felt better. Damn, Clare is good. The actual film wasn’t at the forefront of her mind, but another thought had occurred to her.

“Babe, are we writing fan fiction?”

“Huh, I guess we are.”


	16. Rob’s Birthday - May 13, 2013

Kristen and Suzie craned their necks in an attempt to look out the rear window.

“See anything?”

“No, but I’m sure he’s still as fuck back there. I could see him from the balcony.” Kristen growled.

She’d had a plan, and everything went to shit when they realized they were being followed by that pap again. Ordinarily, she could ignore it as much as it rattled her nerves, but they didn’t want to lead him to their final location for the night. They’d been sitting outside Kassie’s apartment, hoping the pap would clue into the fact that they weren’t leaving until he left. It had worked one previous time. Barely. And the weekend had been perfect so far despite Rob missing his lifelong buddies who were tied up elsewhere. Kristen didn’t even feel selfish for wanting one more thing to go right.

“Can’t you guys slap this asshole with a restraining order already?” Suzie took out her phone to send a text message. They were definitely late.

“We’ve looked into it, but apparently stalking is legal if you’re famous and people can make money off of you. Rob’s pissed, but—” Speaking of the birthday boy in question, her phone began to vibrate. “Hey, babe….”

“Where are you guys? Everything okay?” They’d split up to shake the solo pap, and Kristen and Suzie were long overdue.

“Fuck no. We haven’t been able to get rid of him, and we’re just sitting still for right now. We figured it would be safer to wait than trying to out drive him? I dunno… we might just—“

“No, Kris. Wait it out. Let’s not have an accident on my birthday. It’s been brilliant so far. Booking the winery and having my family surprise me…”

His voice trailed off as he’d considered how much thought she’d put into his birthday this year. He’d reminisced recently about a family tradition that had been abandoned after a few years of not being in London for his birthday, and she’d painstakingly tried to recreate it in LA since their schedules tied them to the west coast for the time being.

“Until now.”

Rob could practically hear her pout over the phone.

“Fuck it. Just come. Tell Suz not to drive like a maniac. If he gets photos, he gets photos.”

It was fortuitous that half way to their destination, a large truck changed lanes, obscuring them from their unwanted shadow. Kristen and Suzie loudly whooped when they realized what had happened.

“It really is your day, Robbie!” His sister Lizzy joked after Kristen recounted what had caused her delay.

Everyone laughed somewhat uncomfortably, knowing full well how much of a strain it was putting on Rob especially. While Kristen hated the paps, the pics, and the gossip and had given plenty a vitriol on the topic, ultimately she’d become more or less exhausted as Rob had become more and more angered by the lack of protection afforded to them.

“Hey.” Kristen leaned against his side as she stretched onto her tiptoes to whisper in his ear. She could see that his thoughts were racing. His hands clenched the beer bottle in his hands, and he’d been silent throughout her tale. “I’m so happy you were born on this day, so I could love you.”

Her words and kisses were only for him, and it was all worth it. He smiled devilishly. It was his party, and he wasn’t going to stew in his anger because he didn’t want to.

“Does that mean I get birthday sex tonight?” His eyes twinkled, and for a a brief moment, he forgot that they weren’t alone.

“Ugh! I don’t want to hear that shite! You’re my baby brother.” Both of his sisters made gagging noises as the other guests laughed.

“More like…” He searched for the right words, finding none he spat out the first thing that came to his head. “More like man brother. I have needs.”

“Needs that have already been met.”

Everyone looked at Kristen in shock before breaking out into laughter. As outspoken as she was, she rarely commented on their sex life even among friends and especially not in front of Rob’s sisters.

“But to answer your question,” Kristen spoke softly, so only he could hear her, “Yes. More birthday sex is your future. Tonight and next year and the year after that and the year—”

Rob cut her off with a kiss on her lips and then he cutely peppered her face with kisses as she giggled.

“Okay, now we don’t need to witness the birthday foreplay.”


	17. Could you write about their time in Budapest please? I've always wondered what happened!

A few minutes before the director pulled Rob and Uma aside for notes on the next scene, Jeff had told him that his package had arrived with a tiny grin. He was certain the director thought he was daft when he had difficulty staying focused and he botched his lines for several takes.

“Robert, this wouldn’t have anything to do with the girl I saw slip onto set, would it?” Uma teased him quietly. She smiled at how embarrassed he looked. “Don’t worry. I’ve been there, kid.”

“Let’s take a thirty minute recess. And Rob. Sort out whatever is going on in your head.” The director made a waving motion with his hand. “We’re nearly at the end.”

Rob sheepishly walked off the set toward his trailer. The closer he got, the faster his stride became. He practically damaged the door when he entered, slamming it behind him.

The girl who slipped onto the set, his girl, the girl was lounging on the small couch, where she looked up from the script she was reading. She couldn’t even let out a small hello before his mouth was on hers, he nibbled on her bottom lip before sliding his tongue inside…

“MmmRob.” She leaned back to take a breath. “Your make-up—“

“Don’t care.” He went back to kissing her while his hands traveled to her waist, preparing to unbutton her jeans.

After a couple more minutes of kissing and grinding, she realized they were getting past the point of no return.

“How much time?”

“Ahh fuck.” He leaned up, remembering that Declan said thirty minutes, and they were probably at the fifteen minute mark now. He didn’t want to be late getting back on top of everything else. “I can’t think with you near. Fuck, I need you.”

Kristen enjoyed the feel of lips on her neck before she got a hold of her senses. He needed her. Maybe they didn’t have enough time for everything they wanted to do, but there was something she could do with what little time they had. She pushed at his shoulders, forcing him to let her up. He looked put out until she sunk to her knees.

“You didn’t even give me time to admire you in period-piece costume,” she scolded as her fingers undid his trousers.

“I’ll steal a fucking costume for later,” he gritted out as she placed his hands on his cock. He was so eager and frustrated. She would’ve laughed if she wasn’t in the same state.

“Later.” She nodded before taking him into her mouth.

Rob left his trailer in a daze and nearly boneless. He was stunned at how quickly he came and how confidently Kristen had taken hold of his body. It was sexy as hell.

When he returned on time, he tried his best to ignore the all-knowing looks in his direction.

“Your fly is open, lover boy.”

Rob quickly reached toward his nonexistent zipper, causing the cast and crew to erupt into laughter.

“I’ll get you back for that.” Rob tried to glare at Uma, but he cracked a grin.

“Think you can stay in character now, lover boy?”

“Fuck off.”

“Are you sure? We can have some cue cards drawn up for ya, kid.” She was laughing too hard now, and the costumer worried she’d bust a seam.

Rob shook his head at his co-star’s antics. He’d worried how the film would be received, but he knew he wouldn’t regret working with this cast regardless.

“I want to meet her.” Uma’s request made him smile.

“Good. She wants to meet you, too.”

When the director said action, Rob nailed his lines in one take. And he never noticed that the girl—his girl—quietly entered and watched him, in awe of the actor transforming in front of her eyes.


	18. hey guys! i'd love to read a drabble about Rob and Kristen's movie, they will shoot together one day (like Leo & Kate). maybe the day of the premiere (in cannes?) with their parents and tgc proudly at the afterparty. thank you xx

“So, what do you think of your mommy and daddy’s movie?”

Six-year-old Colton giggled at the weird old man wearing sunglasses and rolled his eyes, unknowingly—the behavior adopted from watching his mom and dad. “I didn’t see it! It’s for growned ups!”

“Ahhh…” The man smiled good-naturedly, and as nice and silly as Colton thought he was, he looked a little like that green fella who stole presents. “Well, we’ll just have to tell them to do a movie together that you can see.”

“Are you the Grinch, mister?”

Jack Nicholson laughed with his whole body at the abrupt question while Colton’s gran Clare apologized to the esteemed actor.

“No, it’s all right. I’m not, in fact, the Grinch, son. But I’ve been called worst things.”

Colton stared seriously at him trying to figure the man out. As much as the boy was the mirror image of his father at that age (with the exception being his eyes), in that moment he took after his mother.

—

Rob glanced in the direction of his son and his mum across the room and swore under his breath.

“Is our son … cracking motherfucking jokes at Jack Nicholson?”

“Huh? What?” His wife scanned the room before her eyes landed where their son sat with Clare. Jack Nicholson stood next to the table with a large smile on his face.

They’d just arrived for lunch, hoping to steal a little family time before their premiere that evening. This was their first film together since The Twilight Saga, and it was among the most anticipated movies being shown at Cannes. Some critics were even predicting that it could take top honors, but Rob and Kristen were only thinking about the sight of their adorable little boy chatting up the famous, legendary actor without a care.

“Why are you so upset?” Kristen eyed her husband’s furrowed brow.

“I’m not upset.” Rob’s bottom lip poked out a bit, reminding her of their boy. “I’m fucking jealous.”


	19. (Resenting because the ask link wasn't up yet when I sent it in. <3) RK ask the friends to leave them be for a few days.

The group gathered in the den at Rob and Kristen’s request. It seemed rather formal and had the vibe of a family meeting. Kristen’s hand played with the ring on her middle finger, and she chewed nervously at her lip. Agitated ticks that she often displayed in interviews and at events but rarely among the comfort of close friends and Rob. Never beside Rob, whose hands were stuck firmly in his pockets and made no move to calm her. This was shit was weird.

“This shit is weird. One or both of you need to say something. I feel like my parents are about to get divorced or some shit.” CJ ended his abrupt outburst with a forced laugh. He wasn’t joking though. He was worried for his friends.

Rob’s cheeks reddened and Kristen’s fidgeting paused before starting up again.

“Oh shit.” Suzie ignored the buzzing in her pocket. What was about to go down in the living room needed her full attention. Jack could wait.

The room seemed to thrum with the unanswered questions that everyone wanted to shout, but instead they sat there quietly, knowing that talking right now would only delay the answers.

Kristen let out a gust of air and rushed out, “Wethinkitsforthebestifwehadabreakfromyouguys.”

“You guys are going all Ross and Rachel? What? Nooooo.” All Kass could hear was that they were going on a break.

“We need space.” Rob repeated clearly. “From you guys.” He reached for his girl’s hand and squeezed it when she didn’t hesitate to grab his.

“Wait… so what you’re saying is we’re Ross? And you guys are Rachel? What the fuck! I’m so not Ross. Hell the fuck no. If anything, we need a break from you bitches.” CJ winked at her and had a small grin on his face, so Kristen could tell he wasn’t at all hurt.

Her free-spirited , rag-tag, don’t-take-no-shit circle of friends had helped her and Rob through some tough situations, and she never wanted to be one of those fair-weather friends that disappeared when they were cozied up and in love. No, their group already had one of those. At first having a close group around them had been fun and normal. And she was fucking TWENTY THREE, and even though so many of Rob’s friends were falling into domesticity, they liked their life, their homes, their babies, and their friends. But sometimes… yeah, sometimes a couple just wanted to be anti-social together, and their friends were very social. She’d been too stubborn to admit that there was a problem until the other night when she and Rob did something they’d been tip-toeing around for a while.

They fought.

And as much as they hated fighting with each other, it felt good. Really good.

Not only because after the yelling and crying their hands sought each other and smoothed over the fragments. His heavy panting as he entered her. His mouth muttered dirty phrases mixed with apologetic kisses to her neck. Her fingers digging and scratching and pleading while her mouth sought any inch of his skin to soothe. Afterward they spoke softly with assurances and made cautious plans. It was pain and pleasure, and a reaffirmation of everything they needed in each other. But they both wanted more. It was all still just words and plans.

The next day as the time got closer for the talk, Rob worried about Kristen’s distance throughout the day, and she worried about his. She shocked him when she spoke up first. Secretly, that had been exactly what he needed while what she needed to hear was him back her up. She let out a relieved breath. They were still a team, and their friends took the news shockingly well. Or as Suzie had put it, All you needed to do was tell us to get the fuck out.

Without the insulated environment of working on set with only the other as confidant, their bubble, as several people had referred to it, was in need of repairs.

Rob would never admit that he got the idea from his father via email after he’d written a rather long one late at night while Kristen slept. He was grateful to have a father who didn’t chide him for his drunken prose. His ears turned red just thinking about the things he’d written in the moment, forgetting that he intended to send it to his father who’d eventually be her father-in-law. The only thing his father had said to acknowledge the parts of Rob’s email tinged with lust and longing was that he was happy that his son found someone who inspired him even in rough times. Ever the helpful soul, his father ended his reply with one last thought.

Son, there is something to be said for tradition, and I’m sad to see that so many miss the finer aspects of dating and falling in love. To woo the girl you want to have you, well, I wouldn’t trade it for eternal youth and all the money in the world.

Rob had never wooed anyone, but he wanted to woo Kristen. She giggled into his chest when he confessed that to her after their friends left with hugs and looks that said call me. Okay, so maybe there were still some concerns about what was going on.

He’d been about to dismiss it with a joke to hide his hurt feelings, when she looked up at him with her green eyes shining with tears.

“I’d like that, too.” She admitted shyly before kissing his surprised mouth and pulling back to look into his eyes again. “But you already did woo me in your own way. So what if it wasn’t the typical way? We make our own way.”

“I guess… I just…” He shrugged kind of flustered and aroused again. She smirked knowingly.

“What’s your idea?” She put some space between them so they could speak seriously. “C’mon, I want to be wooed. What’s the plan, Prince Charming?”

“Pssssh Prince Charming has nothing on me.” Bolstered by her willingness to give it a shot, he proposed an idea that had popped into his mind earlier in the day. It would seem silly and if their friends found out, which they surely would, Rob and Kristen would become the butt of jokes about romantic clichés. But that thought didn’t stop him from thinking that this is what they needed to get back to basics, to all the things that could’ve been in some other time that would always lead him to this girl. She was it.

With their friends amusing themselves elsewhere and break-up rumors swirling around them, they stayed in their separate homes, barely more than a mile apart.

“Why do we have to do this again?” He could practically see her legs flailing about angrily on the bed.

“Because… Fuck if I know anymore, Kris.”

“It’s too quiet here. I miss your snoring.”

“I miss your snoring.”

“Fuck you! I do not snore.”

“Yeah, you do. It’s soft and completely fucking adorable…” He sighed. “Fuck it, I’m coming over. Tell Bear to scoot over and make room for me and Bernie.”

Bernie’s ears perked up at hearing her name.

“Oh no, you aren’t. We’re sticking to this.”

“No, it’s stupid.”

“No, it’s not. If it was, I would’ve vetoed it. Now… how should I dress for our date tomorrow?”

“I dunno. Casual.” He supplied unhelpfully before adding, “And show me some legs, woman.”

“You’re an absolute shit,” she said while laughing. “But I still love you.”

“I love you, too.”

The date started with Rob’s prompt arrival with flowers and gummy bears. At first, he was going to bring chocolates, but last night on the phone she mentioned craving gummy bears, but she didn’t want to get pap’d on a late night junk food run alone. What the rags would make that sight: Kristen Stewart Late Night Binge Eating After Split. He resisted the urge to attack her as soon as the door opened. Bear crashed into his legs, and he silently thanked the dog because crouching down to give their first furry baby attention allowed him to check out her legs unnoticed. Or so he thought.

“You’re not that smooth, sir. Hmm… now I’m not so sure if I’ll kiss you on the first date.”

He opened his mouth to say some smartass retort, but then decided against it. He stood up and shrugged sheepishly.

“I’m sorry I forgot my manners. I’ve just never seen anyone so beautiful.” He took stock of her reaction to his demeanor before taking a spontaneous leap that she’d play along for tonight, and he held out his hand. “I’m Robert. I’ve heard so much about you. That’s a cute dog you’ve got there.”

She’d known the idea was to date, but she didn’t expect that it would be a first first date. She looked down to gather her thoughts. She could feel tears prickling. Her emotional reaction surprised her and suddenly her heart was racing as if they really were on a first date. The reality of what this step meant hit her all at once. It was a new beginning, but it also felt like the end of something else. She felt a weight roll off of her and with it so did her fears that they’d grow tired of each other. She’d always known, but sometimes she forgot her own certainty about something few people were lucky enough to know.

“Kris…” His voice was concerned, but it was also begging—begging for her to look at him, begging for her to say anything at all, to just fucking react.

She held up her hand, asking him to wait.

She walked to a small table near the door and took off her rings. She didn’t need their protection for tonight. She put them in the drawer for safekeeping, to be placed on again later.

With that done, she walked over to her date.

“I’m sorry. I just remembered something.” She reached for his hand to shake it and looked her future in the eyes. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Kristen.”


	20. Can I request K being drunk with her friends and them calling R to come and get her then he takes care of her and her hangover in the morning? Thx - Please can you write one of Rob picking up a drunk Kristen

Kristen stumbled on her way out of the back door with her friends trailing behind her.

“Don—don’t worry, you guysss, I’m not gonna–,” She paused and seemed to struggle with something. All of her friends took a step back, prepared for the worst. “Nope. Not gonna throw up.”

She cracked up at her own prank, but before they could find her silliness adorable, her face paled and she keeled over.

“Sick. Good thing we came out here… although it would’ve been funny to see her vomit on a pap.” Jaden mused.

“Know what would’ve been less funny?” Suzie arched an eyebrow. “Seeing pics of her vomiting on a pap tomorrow.”

They looked down at their friend who seemed a little more clearheaded albeit with an emptier stomach.

“There you are, girlie. Ready to go home?”

It had taken several threats to get her out of the house, but it was when they pulled out Rob’s favorite vintage tee that she caved to their demands. But now the Kristen crouched on the asphalt and fighting back tears perplexed them. She’d been perfectly pleasant, maybe a bit more rambunctious than they were used to and if they’d paid much attention throughout the night, they’d have to admit that she drank a lot more than she normally would.

“Babygirl? Whatsamatter?” Scout plunked down beside her friend without caring where she landed or what she landed on.

Kristen shook her head and angrily wiped at her face. Seemingly out of nowhere, Jaden took a swig out of a bottle of vodka and passed it to Kristen.

“What?” Jay shrugged. “I know the bartender and she looks like she could use a drink.”

The girls continued passing around the bottle and chatted about nothing while getting progressively drunker.

“I miss working.”

They all turned to look at Kristen, who was rubbing at some invisible blemish on her chucks.

“I miss being on set and falling so entirely into a role. It’s been so long, so fucking long since I’ve been just myself without a break. I’m losing my fucking mind. ARGHHH!”

She went to jump up but fell instead. “Shit!”

Her friends struggled to stand and help each other stand, and the intense moment faded somewhat as they laughed at what they must look like.

“Eugh, I think I stepped in puke. Yeah, I’m pretty sure I did. Fuck. When did one of you throw up?”

“Scout, don’t you remember when Kristen threw up?”

“She threw up? I thought she was just bent over.”

“Thanks for helping us, Kris!” Suzie laughed. “Kristen? Holy shit, where’s Kristen?”

…

“I’m not calling him.”

“Well, I’m not.”

“Dude, he’s gonna be sooooo pissed.” Kassie started giggling nervously.

After Scout cleaned up in the ladies room, they’d called Kristen’s cell and wandered around the bar and the surrounding block looking for their recognizable friend to no avail.

“Suz, you do it. He won’t be as mad at you.”

Suzie shook her head. It was after 2 a.m., and she knew that if Rob was asleep, he’d be grumpy. She had a feeling that he was awake though and probably worried. She didn’t want to be the messenger.

“Here. I already dialed.” Jaybird shoved the phone near her ear just as Rob answered—his voice alert and awake.

“Hello? Suzie? Where’s Kristen?”

“Um. Uhhhhh. Hey, Rob? I’m sure she’s fine, but um funny story… wekindalostKristen. We were hoping she called you?”

“What the fuck do you mean? How do you…?” She could almost hear his jaw working overtime.

“She was right there, and the she wasn’t. Y’know I always wondered how a parent could lose their kid in a mall or some shit, like that just never made sense to me, but I get it now because she just disappeared, we didn’t even hear her leave. We were just in the alley laughing at ourselves and vomit and then she was gone and we looked everywhere…. I’m so sorry. She hasn’t called at all?”

“Suzie, don’t you think if she had I would’ve—hold on.”

…

Rob pulled up outside a convenience store where Kristen waited. The key was barely out of the ignition before a small fist knocked on the driver’s side window. When he came home to see that Kristen decided to go with her friends, he’d been happy. As the hours crept into the early morning, he’d become anxious and then upset that she hadn’t called. But now seeing his girl’s tired green eyes, he let out a relieved breath. The concerned speech that he’d been preparing in his head during the drive no longer seemed so important. She was safe.

She moved out of the way, so he could open the door, but as soon as he stepped out, she was in his arms.

“Do you have any idea?” Rob shook his head and kissed her face.

“I was just.” Kristen yawned. “Lost time.”

She swayed a little in his arms as he walked her to the passenger side.

“Yeah, I’ve had those nights. We’ll talk about it in the morning.”

“’Kay. Luff you.” Her eyes closed, and he could see the faint smirk on her lips as he buckled her seat belt. “I coulda.”

“I know you could’ve, but I love you, so I did.”


	21. Can you write about Rob wanting to finally make an album and Kristen is supporting him all the way...

Kristen was curious about the intense discussion that Rob appeared to be having with Jack and Sam, and the only thing that stopped her from walking to where they stood on the porch, drinking beers, was the smile on Rob’s face as he looked down and nodded at whatever Jack was saying. It had been awhile since she’d seen him look that bashful.

Her curiosity ate away at her throughout dinner, and it didn’t go to bed after they tucked in their son. She was about to open her mouth and ask point blank what was going on when Rob pulled her to his side and started talking.

“You know how I’ve been writing a lot lately?”

She nodded, grinning as she thought of the songs that fatherhood inspired him to write.

“Well, Sam told Jack, and then Jack wanted to hear a few, and they really think I should record them. That I might have enough for an album.”

He played with the ends of her hair, and let the idea settle around them. He wasn’t sure how he felt about sharing those songs, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t proud of them and the idea of getting in the studio excited him. For once, he wasn’t comfortable with the idea of someone else performing his music in lieu of him.

“Rob… can you do me one huge favor?”

Her question made him frown. He didn’t expect her to jump on the bed and squeal, but her changing the topic bothered him.

She kissed his bearded chin, taking notice of the worried lines on his face. “Can you autograph your first CD for me?”

He rolled her over on her back and nipped at her neck playful, delighted that she was supporting him. “Oh, I can do a lot more than that.”

“Yeah?”

“I can give you the first and only private show.”

Kristen’s ears turned red when she thought about the songs Rob had written about her recently. “I’d like that.”


	22. Heyyy, my request is: Kristen has a creepy stalker 'fan' and they follow her/send notes and she gets to scared to go out by herself and Rob trys to find out why and then he does and gets really mad. thnakyou! xox Maddie

Any other day of the week, Kristen would’ve had plenty of options for someone to accompany her to the store and perhaps even stay throughout the evening. She felt like being surrounded in a full house tonight.

Suzie was road-tripping with Jack. CJ was visiting friends in Seattle. Scout was filming. Kassie was in London. She didn’t want to call John or J.B. on their days off. Her brothers were working, and even though Taylor said he’d be available later in the evening, she could hear the questions in his voice, so she said never mind and stuttered her way through a lie. She dropped her phone on the kitchen counter, frustrated. Even if she’d managed to convince her brother that it was no big deal and that she was on her way out, she knew that it was a very big deal and her plans were pretty much kaput.

It started three weeks ago. The notes. The feeling of being watched, followed, and it was different than being stalked by paps. At least paps made themselves known, scum that they are. If this person wanted to rattle her nerves by leaving threats inside her car while she was at a meeting, then they’d met their mission: totally fucking possible. She hardened her face in public, a well-practiced art that was beneficial when paps hurled hateful words in her direction. But the bravado faded with each escalating note. She wanted to dismiss it. She’d received threats from fans and haters in person without flinching. She learned how to disconnect herself from the fear, but the other day she recalled that her mentor Jodie Foster was once traumatized emotionally and mentally after a serious situation involving a stalker. She began to doubt her non-handling of the situation. Kristen groaned into her palms and rubbed at her face. She needed to tell Rob.

“That doesn’t sound good, love.”

The sound of dog nails clicking on the tiles followed him. Rob embraced her from behind and gave her a soft kiss near her ear.

“Understatement.” Her voice wavered as she choked out the attempt at a joke. The solidity of her husband’s arms around her made her feel safe, and she realized it was the only thing keeping her from completely falling apart. Still, her shoulders began to shake as she cried.

Concerned and needing to know the cause of her pain, Rob loosened his grip and moved to turn her so she was facing him. Except she held onto his arms around her and shook her head.

“P-p-please,” she sobbed out.

At that, he held her even tighter and didn’t say a word. His wife needed him to simply be there and keep her grounded. Slowly her tears began to subside and she no longer had to gasp for each breath. She knew Rob couldn’t go very long without an explanation now. He backed up as he felt her begin to move, and with their hands linked, Kristen led him to the table. They both needed to be seated for this conversation.

Not knowing where to start, Kristen reached for her bag and pulled out a large stack of pictures and notes. She placed them in front of Rob without a word.

“It started three weeks ago. On a Thursday. I didn’t think it was …”

His eyebrow furrowed at the timeline. Three weeks. It was a long time to go without saying something. The stack in front him seemed too large for three weeks.

“… sometimes multiple times a day.”

His hand shook as he read the most recent threat left on their front step that morning and the images taken of them from their home.

“DAMN IT.” His fist pounded the table and his nostrils flared. He wanted to hit something. He wanted tear every note, every picture to shreds, but it was all evidence that they needed to show to the proper authorities.

“I know—“

“Fuck, why did you wait? I’m your husband! We’re supposed to share this shit, Kristen.”

“We just got back, okay! And I’m selfish for wanting a few more days of newlywed bliss before dealing with these insane bitches again.”

“This is all my fault.”

“Ugh, no. Don’t you do that. It’s not your fault any more than it’s mine. You’re not Edward fucking Cullen. You’re not even whatever sick fantasy of Robert Pattinson lives in their heads. I know. I know I should’ve said something sooner, but I thought it was all idle threats.”

“Baby, this fucking … they’ve been here.”

“I know.” She nodded as more tears fell. They’d put a lot into refurbishing and decorating their sanctuary. “I was going to tell you today, I swear.”

“We have to call everyone. Nick, Ruth, Dean, J.B…. Everyone. We might even need extra security.”

“I just… ughhhh, I’m so stupid. I just wanted to give everyone until Monday. Things have been so quiet and nice, and I wanted it to stay that way for a while longer.”

He pulled her into his lap and kissed her pout. “We deal with this, Kristen. Vacations and weekends be damned. The sooner we do… the sooner we can return to our regularly scheduled newlywed phase.”

“But first…”

“First we have phone calls to make, and a police report to file. I need you safe.”


	23. Can you please write of their friends purposely uploading a picture of them with the OG and Brit pack? & Rob sees the jealous comments by trolls + gets angry first at his friends for giving haters a picture to leave hate on. Thanks!

“OMIGOD IS THAT ROBSTEN?! TELL THeM I SAID HI AN D THAT I LOVE THEM SOOOOOOO MUCH.”

“OF COURSE YOU POSTED A PIC OF THEM YOU FAMEWHORE. I KNEW YOU ONLY LIKED THE ATTENTION. SEE HOW MUCH ATTENTION YOU GET WHEN ROB TELLS KRISTEN TO DROP YOUR ASS.

“I SEE YOU, ROBSTEN!!!!! K. I. S. S. I. N. G. <33333333”

“Please. This relationship is so PR. Did that skank tell you post that? I bet he isn’t even Rob.”

“You guys! Stop mentioning Rob and Kristen on their friend’s instas and leaving rude comments. CJ, please don’t think that we’re crazy like that. I love that pic though! ;)”

It was only a matter of minutes before the instagram photo had twenty comments and then fifty and crawling upward. After reading a few of the comments, CJ rubbed his eyes and looked at the image he uploaded again.

“Fuck.”

“What?” Scout leaned over to see what was on his phone. “Someone send you nekkid pics again? Oh shit.”

It was barely noticeable, but their friends had a rabid fanbase. Barely noticeable might as well have blinking lights and red circles and arrows around it. Visible behind where CJ, Marcus, and Bobby took a pic on the couch was Rob and Kristen—sharing a sweet kiss.

“Fuck, man. Delete that.”

“Yeah, but it’s too late. Someone’s probably already screencapped it. Shit.”

“What’s been screencapped?”

CJ jumped when he heard Rob’s voice.

“I. Shit, man, I didn’t realize you guys were in the background. I was about to delete it right now, but—“ He shrugged. No explanation was really necessary, and he couldn’t lie without preparation. They were well aware of how quickly news spreads.

“What’s going on?” Kristen walked over with two beers in hand for her and Rob. She stared back and forth between Rob’s narrowed eyes and CJ’s apologetic ones.

Rob unclenched his fist and held out his hand, silently asking to see the phone. He looked down at the image that already had 387 hearts and more than 100 comments. Kristen glanced down and caught a glimpse at the comments before tearing her eyes away. She knew about the nasty words people left on her friends’ instas, but they warned her against reading them. Rob scrolled through a few before swearing under his breath and typing something out.

This move surprised CJ who’d expected Rob to throw the phone at the wall or into the pool. He never thought Rob would leave a comment. When he was done, Rob tossed the phone at his chest. Hard. The man had been working out.

“If I see that outside your pocket at any point for the rest of the night, you’re out of my fucking house.”

“Loud and clear. I’m truly sorry. I know the policy. I do.”

CJ quickly shoved it in his pocket but not before peeking to see what Rob had posted under the guise of being him.

“You all think you can insult my best friend, and I’d never see it and care? That woman is worth a million of you, and that man would be sickened by you. You call yourself fans? Well, I call you all miserable fuckers. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you all. I hope you enjoyed the glimpse because that’s the only view of happiness you’ll ever get.”


	24. Hi guys :) I was wondering if you could write an RPFabout RK being stalked by papz, and Rob about to lose it, but Kristen staying near him to calm him down. And rob being grateful for it ?

“Hi, Rob! Hi, Kristen!” The camera’s shutter punctuated their names. “Not feeling friendly? That’s okay. I’ll still get good money for these pics.”

The couple kept their heads down. Rob pumped gas while Kristen ran inside for bottled water and some snacks.

“So tell me, RPattzzzzz,” the smartass paparazzo drawled. “How does it feel to be the cuckold? You can bang any chick, and you stick by the one who doesn’t want to fuck you. I’d kick that bitch to the curb, man. But what do I know?”

Rob squeezed the lever as if that could speed the process.

“Did she get on her knees for you? C’mon, man to man, gimme the deets. Did you shove y—“

“You’re not a man,” Rob gritted out.

“Fina-fucking-lly, dude. You can speak! You’ve got the patience of a saint. I can’t figure it out. I really thought she was a prude, but all that time she’s was waiting for the right c—“

“SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.” Rob was nearly in the pap’s face when a hand touched his elbow.

Kristen glared at the pap, who steadily kept snapping photos with a large grin on his face. He could almost taste the pay dirt.

Her eyes softened when Rob faced her. He nodded at whatever he seemed read there and moved back to finish filling the tank. She leaned against their red pick-up and positioned herself between Rob and the pap with her back turned toward the camera.

They could still hear the pap’s mouth at work, but they kept their focus on each other. She was small in size, but she radiated with the desire to protect Rob as best as she could.

After they hopped back in the truck without any incidents, Rob noticed that her hands were empty.

She wanted to say that she worried as soon as she heard the faux friendly tone that barely concealed the pap’s sneer, that she watched Rob’s struggle to keep it together from her view in what had to be the slowest line with the most apathetic cashier, that she abandoned her water and chips, that she was close enough to hear most of the disgusting comments, and that he didn’t realize she was there until she touched him. He was that far gone in his thoughts.

“I didn’t need anything there,” she said in response to all of his unspoken questions.

He kept is eyes focused on the road ahead, but he knew she was staring at her hands, fidgeting with her ring. Removing one hand from the wheel, he reached for her and pulled her hand in between them. They stayed that way for the entire ride. Her hand in his; his in hers. Taking turns at being the protector and the protected.


	25. Hello =) Would you write one where Rob and Kristen have gone to New York for a weekend break and are babysitting Marlowe for an afternoon all through to night? That would be wonderful! Thanks!

“What’s with that look?” Kristen glanced at Rob as she balanced Marlowe on her left hip and showed the curious, baby girl each of the ingredients that would go into the dinner she was preparing for her and Rob (and Sienna and Tom since leftovers were a guarantee). Marlowe’s clear blue eyes and tiny hands took great care in inspecting everything Kristen held up and spoke about as if the child in her arms would comprehend and retain what the flavors of each brightly colored, smooth vegetable could create.

He smiled shyly and shook his head. “Nothing.”

But his eyes said everything and Kristen rolled her eyes. “Shut up.”

“What? I didn’t even say anything.”

“Here. Take Little Marzipan, so I can start chopping.”

Rob’s arms eagerly embraced Marlowe causing her to make a high-pitched squeal. They’d offered to watch Tom and Sienna’s daughter, so the couple could have a romantic day out. When Rob had suggested the idea, he’d failed to consider what watching a baby still in diapers meant, which Sienna and Kristen made sure to remind him—one gently and the other bewildered. Perhaps he should’ve cleared the spontaneous idea with Kristen before voicing it aloud. Nevertheless, the day had been an adventure.

“You’re good with her,” Rob said suddenly. Earlier he’d been shocked when his girlfriend pushed him out of the way and snatched the diaper dangling in his hands. She shrugged her shoulders and said she’d seen one of her friends change them. It was then he’d realized that perhaps she let people believe she was more nervous and inexperienced with kids than she really was.

“What did you expect? Me to drop everything and run out the door screaming? I saw your face when you opened that diaper. I couldn’t do that to Marlowe.”

Rob gagged a little. “Shut up. I can’t even…”

Marlowe giggled at his expression.

“Oh, you thought that was a funny prank to play on your Uncle Robbie, didn’t you?” Kristen’s laughter joined in and even though he was the butt of the joke, he enjoyed the memory they were creating.

“Aww shut it, just you wait—“

“Shhhut.”

They froze and stared at Marlowe like she was a ticking bomb. Tom had been trying to get her to speak for weeks, talking to her incessantly, showing her every little thing in the world around them hoping to get a “leaf” or a “truck” to tumble out of his baby girl’s lips.

“Shit, we really need to be more—“

“Shhit. Shhhit.”

“Oh. Fuck.”

“Rob, shut up! She’s like a sponge.”

“Shhhut uppppp!” Marlowe repeated with a grin.

“That’s it. We’re not speaking for the rest of the evening.”

Kristen opened her mouth, but shut it quickly when she saw Rob’s pointed stare. Until it was time to put Marlowe to bed for the night, they communicated silently with the only noise being Marlowe’s proud exclamations of “shut up” and their laughter.

“She’s really nailed that line down, hasn’t she?” Rob whispered somewhat proudly, and Kristen couldn’t help grinning even though she wasn’t sure how the parents would react.

A happy Tom and Sienna burst through the door after midnight and were surprised by their babysitters’ eagerness to leave. Rob and Kristen assured them that they were just tired and had a flight to prepare for in a few hours, but that Marlowe was perfect and that there was leftover soup in the fridge. Kristen had taken the time to write instructions on how to freeze and reheat it later, and then they were on their way.

The next day when they arrived back in LA, Rob had one voice mail from a very amused if not slightly annoyed Tom.

“Care to explain why my daughter told me to shut up this morning?”

Kristen snickered at the message as Rob replayed it for her. “Well… at least she hasn’t said any other new words.”

No sooner had she spoken, her phone began to vibrate. Sienna.

“Maybe we ought to give them a few hours to calm down?” Rob looked at her nervously when the phone stopped and then started vibrating again.

“How about a couple of days…”


	26. A request for TGC - boy - celebrating father's day with Rob

“Daddy!” The 7-year-old with two missing front teeth ran to his dad. “Look at how fast they’re going!”

Rob’s heart clenched at his boy’s excitement. “I see…. Lean back from the rails a bit, son.”

“This is so cool, Dad! Did you see….”

It was Father’s Day. And in keeping with tradition in the Stewart-Pattinson household, Rob and his son spent the day together. Then in the evening Kristen would join in the festivities. After playing a drag car racer a year ago, Rob had taken an interest in the sport, and he and his son easily bonded over the classic cars and high speeds.

Colton leaned back in his seat and smiled toothily at Rob, who couldn’t hide his awe at how quickly their time was flying. He could still recall how his son felt in the crook of his arm. How much longer would he consider his father to be his best friend and want to hang out with him instead of run around with friends and chase after girls? Rob remembered the shite he got into with Sam and Tom. In no time at all, spending time with daddy wouldn’t be cool with or without fast cars to marvel over, regardless of the day on the calendar. He’d be lucky to get a call. Hell, he rarely heard the word “daddy” anymore. The thought made him frown. He made a note to invite his dad and maybe even Kristen’s the following year.

“Aren’t you having fun, Dad?”

“Of course! Which is your favorite so far?” Rob reached over and slid the baseball cap on Colton’s head to face front. The sun was beaming on them.

“Daaaaad.” The boy groaned and fixed his hat so it was backwards again before talking excitedly about the dark blue one with stripes.

Rob grinned despite his boy’s annoyance. Like parents like son.


	27. Assuming they have broken up, a drabble between Suzie and Kristen? Maybe some awkwardness because Suzie's boyfriend is obviously good friends with Rob and Kristen is having a hard time dealing with them seeing him more than she has post-breakup?

With the rest of their friends distracted in the backyard with their latest book club obsession, Suzie trailed after Kristen to see if she needed any help in the kitchen.

“Anything new in showbiz?” Suzie teased and bumped Kristen’s hip as they prepared another tray of Kristen’s homemade chips and salsa.

“Yeah.” The actress’ grin widened, thinking about her meeting from the day before. “There’s a few things. I wasn’t sure if… but Rob”—-she shook her head with a laugh—“he actually said he wouldn’t let me see my babies again if I didn’t do this film, so.”

“Oh, really?”

“He wouldn’t dare though.” Kristen looked at her friend with a suddenly serious expression. “I mean, things may not be perfect, but it’s not—“

“Of course not. That boy—he loves you even though…”

“It hurts?”

“Especially since it hurts.” Suzie headed to the fridge for another beer. She hadn’t expected the conversation to turn to Rob, but there would never be a good segue. “So you guys still talk?”

Kristen nodded but didn’t volunteer more information.

“Speaking of…”

Kristen raised an eyebrow. She didn’t want to gossip about her ex or sort-of-ex or whatever it was that meant no sex, no cuddles, no kisses. Everyone avoided the name Rob or names that began with the letter R. She wanted to scream that he wasn’t Lord Fucking Voldermort, and nearly had on several occasions. It didn’t hurt to say his name or to think of him, and she wasn’t sure what that meant. Some kind of delayed response or denial. He would always be in her life, and maybe knowing that was enough. Still, the idea of him with someone else made something inside her sting. Definitely denial.

“Jack.”

“Jack?”

“He’s coming back to LA for a few days. From Australia.”

Kristen nodded at this info while trying to figure out why her friend seemed so nervous and hesitant. “That’s good … right?”

“Yes! Absolutely, it’s just…” Suzie shrugged with a gesture to the room around them, in the house with one inhabitant down. Three if you counted the dogs visiting their papa.

Kristen looked puzzled for a second before breaking out into laughter. “Suz, that—that—you know I’m happy for you? Like me and Rob and whatever shit happens…” Kristen’s demeanor shifted from jovial to hurt as she considered Suzie’s awkwardness throughout the night as their friends teased her about being in love. “That doesn’t change how I feel about you or Jack. Please say you know me enough to know that?”

“I do… Fuck, I did.” Suzie cracked a sheepish grin. “I didn’t even think about it until my mom said something about Jack coming into town and the rumors she’d heard about you and Rob, and then my thoughts just… shame-spiraled? I’m sorry.”

“And that goes for Rob, too, y’know? I mean, I can’t speak for him, but I know him, and he wouldn’t want you to feel awkward to be around him with Jack or for Jack to be weird around me. We can be adults for the sake of….”

“For the sake of the kids?”

“Ha! Yeah, for the sake of the kids. Fuck. Be happy. And in looooove.” Kristen shook her head at her giggling friend before grabbing the tray. “I’m serious.”


	28. I request a little something on the first time Rob rings Kristen up after getting her number.

“Hello.” Her voice sounds slightly younger on the phone, but not by much. She’s out of breath when she answers, and the sound of her gasp immediately conjures memories of their audition. Specifically, hovering over her body, her lips begging, and her hand squeezing his side, tensed between the desire to push or to pull. He was reeled in regardless.

“Hellooo?”

“Hi, Kristen? Um. It’s Robert Pattinson. We’re going to be co-stars… I’m your Edward.” That’s a rubbish start. She going to think you’re flirting, which you are, but… “Not your Edward! Bella’s! I’m Bella’s Edward. The Edward to your Bella.” What is it about this girl that makes me talk like a tosser?

“Oh, Hi! Yeah, I didn’t forget you, Robert.” She laughs, and it sounds giggly and girlier than the laugh he expected to come from her.

“Rob.”

“Okay. Rob.”

“But you could call me Robert, too. I don’t really….”

“Okay. Rob who I will occasionally call Robert.”

“Only on occasion?”

She hums, and he can feel himself grin at the sound. It’s as if she’s flirting. Tom googled her and dashed that hope when he arrived in England on a post-audition make-out session high. She has a boyfriend, but she hasn’t said she has boyfriend. The internet can lie, and flirting wouldn’t hurt.

“Anyway, you gave me your number, so we could talk. About the script and characters?”

“No, yeah, I remember…. Shit. Can you hold on?”

“Yes.”

He hears her talking to someone and then moving about. Finally he hears a door close.

“Sorry about that. No privacy around here today, and Michael’s playing video games with my brother and pretending not to eavesdrop.” She sounds amused but not annoyed.

“Michael?”

“My boyfriend.”

“Right. If you’re busy, I can phone later?”

“No, no, no! I want to talk to you. I was actually just thinking about you the other night.”

“You were?” He can barely keep his voice from getting deeper although he’s certain she doesn’t mean it like that.

“Yeah, well, I was thinking it would be better to work on character stuff in person? I don’t know. I just think we’d be more productive?”

“That makes sense….” Somehow he doubted he’d be very productive with her in front of him, but he didn’t want to admit that to her. He felt the need to impress her. He could already tell that she was so serious about acting, but not obnoxiously so. She cared.

“But wait! I still think we should talk or text or whatever until then. Edward and Bella feel so much, so quickly. We should probably become more comfortable with each other. What do you think, Rob?”

I think I want to hear you say my name in another context. “I think it’s a plan.”

“Great! Sooooo.”

“What’s your favorite book?”

“Ahh twenty questions like Edward and Bella, huh? Smart.”

“Umm yeah?”

“Rob! You haven’t read it yet, have you?” She’s laughing again and her laughter sounds kind, so he takes that as a good sign.

“I have a copy. Do I get points for that?”

“Yeah, I’ll give that to you. I doubt you’d really like it anyway…. Fuck, I’m so glad it’s you!”

“Yeah?” He grins at the fact that she’s comfortable enough to curse with him and that she wanted him even if she’s only talking about the part.

“You wouldn’t believe the … I shouldn’t really say.”

“C’mon… say it.”

“No… okay, I’ll just say one thing. I feel so shitty talking about him, but he was kind of a dick and he’d probably talk about me. Not that it makes it any better, but when you admitted that you haven’t read Twilight, it made me think of this one guy who auditioned for Edward. And I don’t know why, but I let him think that I had no interest in reading the book even though I’d already read it, and he was such an asshole to me about it… you think I’m a bitch now?”

“No. He’s sounds like a twat.”

“Right?! Catherine loved him though, but I knew it had to be you.”

“Yeah? And what if you’re wrong?”

“Bullshit, I’m never wrong, Robert.”


	29. Hey! May I request something on Rob and Kristen who are hanging out with Katy (having a party with her invited) and robust butt talk/pinching? ;D Thank you! x

“Unf… Robbie, check out dat ass.” The colorful pop star nudged his elbow. It was unnecessary because his eyes were already stuck on the tight jean-clad derriere belonging to the woman digging through the cooler for a can of her favorite soda.

“That robust ass is mine.” He pointed in Kristen’s direction with the same hand that held his beer.

“I’m only looking and talking, but I can’t make any promises.” Katy winked.

“Well… if you were to touch it, make sure you do it when I can witness.” He grinned cheekily. He considered Katy and Shannon his LA sisters from another planet, but even he could admit that would be hot to see.

“Really? You’re giving me permission?”

“No. I’m daring you. I dare you to pinch my girl’s ass. It’s a great one, so I can’t blame you for being curious.”

He saw a glint in Katy’s eye that would’ve had him concerned if he wasn’t already a little buzzed. He made a mental note to warn Kristen of potential non-Rob-Pattinson-hands booty gropage.

“Consider it done, Robbie. I’m going to make that ass my bitch.”

“Yeah, well until then.” Rob got up and nodded with a wide grin before heading toward Kristen where his right hand immediately drifted to the coveted ass in question.


	30. Any chance you'd write about R&K quitting smoking? (either because K is pregnant or because Rob got a health scare about his vocal chords or whatever you want)?

Kristen darted in the house ahead of him, ignoring the dogs and their friend who’d agreed to watch baby Elliot while they went to Rob’s doctor appointment. She insisted on being there, and even though Rob hated for her to worry and knew her concern would put him on edge, he was grateful to have his wife beside him.

“Kris!”

After talking to Kassie to see if she’d keep Elliot occupied for a little longer, he followed the sounds of his wife. He could hear her rifling in the kitchen and water running probably to cover up her tears. He walked there slowly and leaned against the door jamb.

“All those years ago… we should’ve…”

“We tried and we didn’t, Kris. We can’t change the past.”

“But now you… you might.” She shuddered. Unable to wrap her mind around the previous 2 hours, and the doctor’s concerns about Rob’s vocal chords.

“Throat cancer.” He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

“How are you so calm right now?”

“Dr. Bryant said we caught it very early, and that the survival rate for my case is very high. Besides, we still have to do a biopsy.”

“But he—he said it’s highly likely!”

“Yes, but we’ll get through this. Kris, look at me.”

“It’s my fault we backslid into smoking again. That ends by the way.”

“Last I checked I was quite willing for a real cig. Those toys were teases. Plus, last time we quit quitting was my fault.” He never did forget that post-coital cigarette.

“But that ends now, Rob.” She looked at him sternly. “I grabbed all the stashes that I knew of while you were talking to Kassie.”

She motioned to the sink running behind her. He peeked over her shoulder and could see their cigarettes soaking in water.

“Damn, I was hoping to have another farewell to smoking party with those.”

She softly punched his gut, but he knew he’d raised her spirits somewhat when she smirked at his exaggerated cowering. “Not funny.”

“I know, love. But I promise we’ll get through this.”


	31. Ohhhh finally get to send a request... Times zones suck! Amm one where the media and fans find out about kris being pregnant and her & robs reaction to the fans media's excitement :) C x

“Shite, mate! Have you guys heard of the telephone?” Marcus entered the Pattinson-Stewart home with Jack and Suzie, loaded with bags.

“What’s all this?”

“Have you checked your texts?” Suzie asked.

“My phone’s somewhere upstairs. Kris and I’ve been in the theater taking advantage of no morning sickness.” Jack smirked at Rob’s wording. “Not like that! She can actually watch a movie without pausing today. And then we fell asleep.”

“Uh huh. Well, while you’re not taking advantage of Kristen’s lack of the queasies, the word has gotten out.”

“What?”

Suzie handed him her phone which had exploded a couple hours ago with thousands of good tidings to the expectant parents on her instagram and twitter accounts.

“Shit.”

“Uh huh. It’s a madhouse down by the gate, so we brought food for the week. Where’s the momma?” Suzie started walking toward the kitchen with the boys to direct them in storing the groceries the way Kristen would like it.

“She’s still sleeping. You guys are lucky I even heard the bell. Fuck… I’m going to—” He waved his hand before combing his fingers through his hair, and they understood. Kristen had hoped to keep this under wraps until the pregnancy was nearly over. They still couldn’t figure out how word had spread to the media, but they suspected a slip up at the doctor’s office. A few fans mentioned something about a nurse’s tweet. Former nurse now.

Rob quietly entered the room and was surprised to see Kristen with her phone in her lap.

“I had it on silent.”

Rob stared at her bowed head and the absent way she caressed their tiny creature as Taylor referred to him or her.

“I guess Suzie and the guys are here?”

He sat down beside her and touched her leg with his. “She brought enough food for days. Or a zombie apocalypse.”

She smiled, but he could see her eyes were a bit wet.

“I know you wanted—“

Kristen cut him off with a shake of her head and reached up to touch his face. “That’s not it.”

She took a deep breath. “I was just thinking that we’re going to be parents. That something is inside of me that is a part of you and me. We created that.”

Rob nodded, and he could feel the fullness of his heart that happened ever since his eyes landed on the woman in front of him eight years ago.

“They can’t have that. They can think they know. Hell, they can know every detail and analyze all the pictures. But they can’t have that—what we have.” She looked at him with conviction, and he could only say one thing.

“You’re going to be an amazing mother.”


	32. Yeah....okay..I'd like to request a story about when they were first together during new moonish and summit was anything but happy with the news and how they "summit" and R&K dealt with the blow back. thanks! love love this website!

Kristen would need to see dentist after this meeting with the way her teeth would grind with every word. She was a team player and prided herself on being professional on set and when dealing with the suits, but she felt scolded and reprimanded for having a personal life as soon as she realized that this meeting was about her relationship with Rob. There was a part of her, and she’d acknowledge that it was the rebellious, unprofessional inside that bristled at being told anything by authority figures. A director with a vision was one thing. Studio execs with an agenda made her jaw clench.

“I don’t understand how our personal lives are relevant. We’re ready to film on time. We don’t display our relationship in front of the cast and crew.” Kristen smiled in Rob’s direction, silently cheering on his little speech.

“But you do have a bubble. A bubble that many fans and reporters can’t help noticing.” Wyck kindly interrupted Rob’s defense. He liked these two, and he thought they had something unique going on from the start, but that didn’t put assuage his fears. At the same time, he and the rest of Summit didn’t want to tick off their two biggest assets. “Look, we can’t tell you how to live and love, but you can’t deny that who you are and how you’re marketed, often without your consent, can and will affect your projects. To not acknowledge that is naïve.”

“I’m not selling my relationship with Rob for Twilight. I won’t.”

“And we’re not asking you to, but you both have to be willing to embrace some of the strategic maneuvering you tried to avoid last time.”

“I don’t want a publicist.” Rob interjected. He knew Kristen had had one since she was a child, but something about having publicist really bothered him. Not to mention he didn’t want to pay for one.

“Okay.” Wyck nodded. “If that’s what you want. It’s actually a good thing we’ll be promoting New Moon because in order to avoid selling your real life relationship directly, we’ll need Taylor.”

“What do you mean directly?” Kristen looked at him coldly.

“I mean, we can only do so much. Two beautiful leads in a love story. We don’t control the media and their spin. But we can try to give them as little as possible. It’ll be tricky. Since you two don’t want to do this the easy way and talk about how in love you guys are at junket, I’m guessing?”

Kristen and Rob shook their heads. Hell no. Their relationship was too new, and they weren’t ready to pop the bubble on the privacy and intimacy that others could only wonder about.

“All right then, so it’s the hard way. Mum’s the word.”


	33. Omg open finally!! Please write one of k being jealous of rob because of his outings with riley

As soon as Kristen’s plane landed in Paris, she turned on her phone, feeling rested after the long flight. She’d been excited for this trip. If someone had told her she’d get ecstatic by the idea of being in Paris for Fashion Week, her younger tomboy self would’ve scoffed and smeared mud on her face. She never left the tomboy far behind, but she couldn’t deny loving the looks that she and Tara would collaborate on. Even the ones that Tara had to nudge her to try, she had to admit she loved and her confidence swelled in the fabric against her skin. She smiled to herself thinking of the few times when Rob made a suggestion or two to Tara although he feigned ignorance.

The buzzing of text alerts pulled her from her inner musings.

“It wasn’t me! But you know that, don’t you? ;)”

I don’t know what you’re talking about. Really. I don’t.

“Hey, Kristen, did you see it yet? What a riot those tabs are! Don’t even get me started on the fans.”

CJ what happened? Ry only said it wasn’t her… wasn’t her what? Damn you all with the cryptic texts! ;P

“Hun, please call me back. It’s important. Don’t make me ask on twitter again. LOL”

She skipped the text from her mom. She’d wait to call until she was in her hotel suite.

“Let me know when you’ve landed safely. Miss you already.”

Rob’s text made her smile. She resisted the impulse to stare at the pictures of her man and her babies on her phone. Ruth and JB would tease her if she started with that so soon after landing.

Miss you, too. Paris is always better with you, and you know how much I love it here.

The situation became clearer when CJ sent her a pic of two people sitting in the front of Rob’s pick-up truck. She grimaced at the sight and shook her head. Of all the fucking…

“They don’t know who it is.” CJ quickly responded. “They think it’s Riley. It’s not. But I see some fans bickering about some Odessa chick? You know an Odessa? Whoever is in the truck looks an awful lot like you…”

Never heard of her.

She left the chat, letting CJ’s hint of a question linger, before calling her friend.

“So… I hear you’re my replacement.”

“Oh my god, Kristen!” Riley laughed at her teasing tone. “I hadn’t even seen the fucking pics and next thing my mom and bloggers want to know how long I’ve been seeing Rob! I’m blaming your fans for putting my name into this, by the way.”

Kristen giggled. “I know. They’re… passionate in the CSI games they play. Not always accurate though.”

“Incredibly inaccurate, considering what’s right in front of their faces.”

“Oh?” She played coy.

“It’s you.”

“Maybe… that hair is awfully red.”

“Don’t give me that shit. I know what your hair looks like in the sun, and you’re cute, but I can spot those glasses from a mile away.”

Kristen laughed at Riley’s no nonsense reasoning.

“You’re not mad? About everyone thinking it’s some other girl and that he’s moved on to play table tennis with other women?”

“No.” Kristen thought about it for a second. “It’s funny really, and Rob can play table tennis with whomever he wants. Just as long as the only person he fucks on said table is me.”

Ruth snickered while JB shook his head uncomfortably at the candid girl talk.

“Somehow, I doubt the table could survive that.”


	34. Can you write about when Kristen came back from the wedding she attended? How she arrived home and told Rob what she did, how she danced and that she had a lovely time wishing he would’ve been there too.

“How are my babies?” The words tumbled out of her mouth as soon as she heard a voice.

Rob barked out a laugh. “I’m fine. Thanks for asking.”

“Ugh! You know what I meant.” Her voice was tired, but her body was still buzzing from traveling and thinking about her plans for a road trip. She just felt the need to go, but her babies came first.

“Wow… I know you were fond of what I’m packing, but to call them your babies? A real blow to the ego.”

“Rooooob.”

“Oh? Is it that kind of call? What are you wearing?”

She half laughed, half sighed. “You can’t—you can’t just talk to me like that.”

Sensing the shift, Rob felt the silliness seep out of his bones. “They’re fine, Kris. Bear and Bernie are fine. We went to the park and yeah… do you want me to bring them over later today?”

“Can you? I would really really love that.”

They were silent for a moment. Kristen laid on her side staring at his side of the bed. Empty. “You are, you know.”

“What?”

“One of my babies.”

“Yeah?”

She could tell that he smiling and she imagined it was shy and secretly pleased. He cleared his throat then. “And how are you? How was the wedding?

“Fun. Really fun. I danced a lot. I’m pretty sure I earned a few new bruises as well.”

“Did John take good care of you?”

“Of course, but … I missed you. Frequently.”

He grunted and was secretly satisfied with that as well. “Now who’s saying inappropriate things?”

“Well, you started it.” She stuck out her tongue as if he could see her.

“Did you just—you stuck out your tongue, didn’t you?”

“No.”

“You totally did.” They giggled like old times until they became comfortably silent. “So when’s a good time to bring over Bear and Bernie?”

“Anytime.” She hesitated, gnawing on her lip. “And … you should bring the other babies as well.”

He was silent, and she worried she’d crossed some line. “The other babies? Kris, what are you on about? There’s only Bear and Berns.”

“The other… the other. Rob, I’m talking about your cock and you know. Or I was trying to…” She groaned at her attempt to flirt and could feel the embarrassment warm her face as Rob’s giggles increased. “Are you done laughing at me? Never mind then.”

His laughter stopped then. “No! I wasn’t laughing at you, baby. I was just thinking, well, there’s no way I can leave those behind and I wouldn’t want to as far as you’re concerned.” He cleared his throat and smiled into his phone. “I’ll be right over.”


	35. Rob has about six months off. And he gets jealous that Tom and Kristen will be working together on their THIRD movie.

Kristen quietly hummed to herself while slipping into the first jeans and t-shirt she came across. Her hair was still wet from her shower and dripped onto her shirt as she knotted it on one side. It was still dark outside and soft light from the bathroom filtered into their bedroom.

“I was going to wear that today.” Rob watched her with one eye open and a pout.

She laughed at the expression on his face. With a shrug, she took it off and tossed it at him before grabbing another shirt.

“I wanted to wear that one, too.”

Shaking her head at his antics, she walked closer to their bed. His hand automatically reached for her thigh to pull her closer. “You’re worse than Art with your jealousy.”

She gave him a brief peck on the nose and pulled away, still laughing at his disappointed face. She bent over the chair to reach where she’d last abandoned her favorite chucks of the moment. After watching her struggle with her ass wiggling in the air, Rob flopped back on the bed and willed his erection to dissipate. Impossible.

“Bloody Sturridges keep taking you away from me! First, Art at Matilda’s wedding. You’d think he’d dance with his own damn date, and now Tom again with work. Three times! And Twilight doesn’t count because we played the same characters.”

“You act like it’s on purpose.” She sighed at his pointed look. “Okay, so with Art it’s intentional, but you make it entirely too easy for him to piss you off, and Tom and I … purely, coincidental, babe. Maybe it’s the universe’s way of balancing out the five movies I got to make with you while still making sure I’m safe and happy, working with people that I know will look out for me and you.”

He smiled a bit at that, loving that she trusted his mates as much as he trusted them. “I know.” He whined. “I just miss working with you, and he refuses to work with me.”

“Maybe because Tom knows how competitive you get.”

“I’m not that bad. Besides you’re just as competitive.”

“Yeah. With you.” She tied her shoes and stood up. “And there’s no one else I’d rather compete with.”

Rob watched as she slipped her wallet into her back pocket and looked around. “Your keys are in the kitchen.”

“Thanks, babe.” She ran over to him and gave him a deep kiss, allowing him to pull her hips closer for too brief a moment to offer any relief. “Mmmmm nope, hun. I gotta go. First day on set.”

She kissed his pouty lower lip twice more, causing him to smile. “And don’t be a layabout today. Maybe you should look over some scripts and see if there’s an opportunity.”

“Nah, I’m looking forward to having a few months off.” He’d been itching to write. Then something she’d said piqued his interest. “Opportunity for what?”

She paused at their bedroom door. “Oh, I dunno … you, me, and no vampires. You decide.”


	36. "@fakefrank If you want me in your life, prove it" [Also meets this request: Unresolved sexual tension between Rob and Kristen in the twilight set and they can’t deny it anymore and end up making out]

Rob tried to subtly adjust himself after Catherine yelled, “cut,” but his movement only made the problem more apparent to the person from whom he’d been trying to avoid full hip-to-hip contact.

His cheeks flushed. “Sorry,” he muttered.

His co-star nodded, avoiding his eyes. “It happens.” Kristen whispered, even though it wasn’t something that had ever happened to her before, but she was sure it was one of those things that professionals understood and never discussed in the interviews.

“Can we get make up? Rob’s looking a little too human under the collar. Kristen, you okay to continue?” Catherine looked at her in a motherly way, and Kristen internally bristled at that. She was sick of people treating her like some kid because she had to take classes and couldn’t work as many hours. She nodded, somehow managing not to roll her eyes, and noticed Rob smirk at her kindly as if he could read her thoughts, see her disdain at being coddled.

They got into position and when Catherine yelled action, Kristen yanked Rob more aggressively than she had in the previous take. She wanted to prove herself. Bella wanted to prove herself. His hands landed on the bed too late and his hardened length brushed against her causing her to open her mouth with a gasp. She couldn’t tell if he groaned or whimpered into her mouth, but she felt his tongue touched hers briefly before she reached around his neck to pull him closer with her arms as well as her legs.

“CUT!”

They stopped kissing and stilled their movements immediately. She heard him swear something under his breath, and she opened her eyes to see him staring back at her, hovering inches from her face with his lips parted. He glanced down toward her mouth, and she watched his tongue lick his lower lip, a mirror of her own need.

“That was … um. That was really fucking hot, you guys!” Catherine’s grating voice rang out. “Why don’t we take a breather and maybe one more take—one that’s a little less… thrusty? We want a PG-13 rating, folks!”

Snickers from the gallery rang out as Rob and Kristen tried to hide their embarrassment under cool masks of indifference that fooled no one.

They walked back in the same direction toward their individual trailers in an awkward, heated silence before splitting off. But with his muttered words pestering her mind, Kristen swiftly turned around to confront him. She knocked on his door and brushed her way in without an invitation and began pacing before stopping across from where he sat with his hands tented in front of him.

“What the… Rob, what the fuck was that?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Um, when a guy gets aroused, his—“

He attempted a lame joke.

“I know what the fuck an erection is, Rob! I’m not here for a lesson in the birds and the bees.”

“What are you here for then?”

“What you said! What the fuck does that mean?” She lowered her voice, not wanting to be overheard and have it splashed around that the two leads were fighting. “You said… ‘what you do to me.’ What does that mean? What do I do to you? How am I supposed to take that, huh?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say. You felt what you do to me. I’m attracted to you. I don’t think I’ve made that a secret. If you’d have me, I’d—” He shook his head at his inner musings, thinking she’d find him pathetic. “It doesn’t matter, Kris.”

“How can you say that? Of course, you matter. I care about you so much already.”

He laughed at that. She cared. Tell that to his aching balls after nights of flirting and wanting and her being wholly indifferent or unaware of how she affected him. “You don’t want me in your life. At least not how I do.”

“I do want you in my life. I do.” She repeated stubbornly. “I’m just…” She didn’t know how to complete that sentence. Confused? Scared? Completely mindfucked?

“Prove it then. If you want me, prove it.” He wasn’t exactly sure what he wanted her to do with that challenge. But he regretted putting it on the line so openly. He didn’t have time to take back his words and let her off the hook before she straddled his lap and placed her mouth on his.

He sat there for a moment in shock, allowing her to kiss him before opening his mouth and sucking on her lower lip fervently. He grasped her hips in his large hands before moving her to lie down on the couch where they continued to kiss and to feel like this was the only thing that mattered. No work obligations. No concerns about professional reputations. No boyfriends and female friends letting their interests known.

“Fuck, Kris. I’m gonna—“ She smiled against his lips, loving how she affected him, and rubbed her hand against him to spur him on. Unable to control himself, he began thrusting against her hand. “Shit, shit, fucking hell.”

He groaned in her mouth as her eyes swept over his face greedily. His lips were more swollen from kissing. His nostrils flared somewhat as he breathed more heavily. A vein she’d never noticed before bulged out of his forehead, and she imagined herself licking it. She giggled.

Lifting his face from her neck, he lazily smirked at her. “It’s not nice to laugh at someone’s ‘O’ face when they haven’t seen yours.”

He watched her as his hand drifted to her waist, and she sucked in her breath. Before he could tuck his fingers underneath the waistband, a knock interrupted followed by a voice announcing that he was wanted back on set.

They sat up, helping each other adjust their clothing, and Kristen held back a laugh at his scrunched up face when walked funnily into the bathroom to clean himself up.

“Not polite to laugh.” He called through the door.

“I’m not laughing.” She bit her lip with a smile and tried not to let her lack of guilt about what they just did bother her.

“No, but I can hear your thoughts loud and clear, and they’re laughing.”

“Pretty sure you can’t read my thoughts, and Edward definitely can’t read Bella’s.”

“How do you know?” He walked back out toward her and easily put his arms around her as if he’d done so for years. He knew that internally she would start panicking about them eventually, and he wanted to savor this moment.

She let herself be held. Finally and still too soon, she sighed before not-quite grabbing his hand and walking toward the door. He squeezed her fingers before letting go, and they walked toward the set with their thoughts to themselves.


	37. Can you write about RK reading Fanfiction and getting all hot and horny? Lol

“This shit is so twisted.” Lindsey scrunched up her nose. She was looking over CJ’s shoulder where others were hovering over a laptop screen.

“Scroll.” Scout demanded.

“I mean, they’re writing or imagining our friends. It’s beyond… beyond, but….”

Suzie tilted her head at the words, picturing the position described. “It’s actually really creative.” She finished CJ’s sentence. “It’s better than what some people pay to read.”

“What are you guys watching?” Kristen’s voice rang out behind them, causing them all to jump in surprise.

Kristen’s hair was messed up and tucked under a backwards cap. Her t-shirt was wrinkled as if she’d picked it up off the floor. Rob walked in behind her in a similar state. Nothing out of the ordinary to the unobservant eye.

In guilt, their friends failed to put two and two together. The open page on the laptop they’d discovered when they’d let themselves in to help prepare for their “family” dinner. And the occupants of the house being nowhere in sight until emerging relaxed, pinkish, and slightly more disheveled than usual.

“CJ was looking up fan porn.” He opened his mouth to correct Lindsey that he’d sat down to check his email when he noticed the screen that was already open, but he halted when he noticed Rob and Kristen staring him down. Kristen’s eyes appeared to be pleading something.

“Yep. You know me. Love that fan fiction.”

On their way to the kitchen and amidst the chatter, Kristen pulled CJ aside. “Thanks,” she whispered.

“Yeah, we owe you one.” Rob nodded, grateful nobody seemed suspicious.

CJ looked at his happy, relieved friends, and smiled. “Nah, it’s cool. Just remember to X that shit out and lock up your laptop, you kinky fuckers.”


	38. Pleasee write an rpf of rob angry/jealous of guys talking to k so he tells her he wants her back

Rob glared toward the other side of the aisle where he could see Shia LaBeouf twist around in his seat again during the commercial break to say something to Kristen. He could see that she smiled at whatever he’d said and started to respond.

They were both attending the same award show after several months apart and had only spoken when necessary and about safe topics like work and the dogs. They still considered each other a friend, a confidante, and a source of encouragement, professionally speaking. Every so often their eyes would meet or linger, a separate yet identical longing nestled deep in their chests, but they stubbornly waited for the other to give a name to the elephant in the room. Their friends called them fools.

Rob had never felt more foolish when he saw on her the carpet. Her legs on full display and feet encased in spiky heels. He wanted to joke with her and Ruth about what sneakers awaited her at the end of the line, but he’d stayed away once they were inside, uncertain if his approach would be welcome in public. Even though they still spoke, the place was crawling with reporters and celebs and other randoms on twitter. He didn’t want to send tongues wagging, but now he wanted nothing more than to march where she sat and physically force Shia to remain face forward and leave his girl alone.

Nick coughed and nudged him. He looked at his client and friend with a head shake, and Rob loudly sighed in relief when the show started again.

They ran into each other back stage. She’d just finished presenting, and he was due for the prep room. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say when he approached her where she stood chatting with Sandra Bullock. He knew he was being rude when he leaned toward her ear. “I want you so fucking much right now.”

He walked off immediately with his pants feeling tight and his heart clenching harder than it did the first time he walked away. He heard her apologize and excuse herself and felt her hot on his heels. He prepared for some yelling, but he was surprised when she pushed ahead of him and led him into a bathroom and locked the door.

“You have maybe five minutes.” She twisted away when he moved to kiss her. “No. You have to go on stage soon.”

“I don’t give a fuck, Kristen. I’m through with this shit. Being away from you like this… I can’t.” She stared at his lips and nodded to herself or to him, he wasn’t sure, before she grabbed his face and pulled him down to her.

“I’ve missed you so fucking much.” He whispered in between kisses.

“Mmmm me, too.”

“Has anyone seen Robert Pattinson?” A voice shouted from outside the door and down the hall, stopping Rob’s hands where they were inching further up her dress.

He pulled away with a groan, and she sighed, smiling at him as he adjusted himself. Before opening the door, he turned to her. “Tell Shia to back off.”

She shook her head at him. She’d noticed his staring. Several people had. “He has a girlfriend who’s sitting right next to him. Anyway he’s not my type.”

She walked past him, and he licked his lips as he watched her hips sway. A few faces he recognized shot him knowing looks. He tried to look abashed, but he couldn’t, so he smiled instead.

Kristen watched Rob on stage with a grin, knowing full well he was more than a little flustered and that the camera was on her to get the reaction shots sure to please or displease viewers, depending on their hopes. Would she look sad? Uncomfortable? Neither, it seemed with the almost loving, as some gossip bloggers would later call it, smile she sported on her face.

She barely paid attention to what was happening, choosing to think about his kisses and touches backstage. She knew she should give him hell for not stepping up until now when his green-eyed monster broke free, but she could hardly blame him. She’d done the same thing years before, and he didn’t give her a hard time about it. Unless she counted his silly, arrogant teasing weeks later that only led to secretive smiles, touches, and kisses.

They’d been in make-up for a photo shoot when Rob picked up his phone to respond to a text for the twelfth time that afternoon. Kristen rolled her eyes, irritated because she’d been in the middle of a sentence.

“Is the sexting really that important?” She snapped.

He raised his eyebrows at her tone, and she could feel the awkwardness as the make-up artists tried to make themselves scarce. He set his phone down and twisted around to face her. “You have my full attention.”

“Who is she?”

“Does it matter?”

Yes. “No.” She glared, hating the tears she could feel bubbling underneath her mask.

He sighed and looked down where his finger started to scratch at the knee of her jeans. He couldn’t even remember placing his hand there. Pulling it away to run his fingers through his hair, he whistled between his teeth. “She’s just some girl.”

“Oh. Are you two fucking?”

“Kristen.”

“What? I’m catching up with my good buddy. You getting laid?” The words coming out of her mouth made her insides twist. She wasn’t sure where her anger and spite came from.

“No. We’re not fucking. Yet.” Her face crumpled then and he immediately regretted responding to her anger in kind. He quickly added, “Or ever.”

He was actually getting tired of the texts, the obviousness of the woman’s sycophantic messages. He’d been trying to find a way to cut off their chats politely, in a way that wouldn’t make her want to mouth off online.

“Good.” His head lifted in surprise. She looked at him apologetically and tried to smile. She softened her voice. “I don’t know—I wish this was simple, and I could just say I want to be the one you want to fuck because the feeling is mutual and be done with it.”

“You can’t just say that?”

She shook her head in response.

“But it is mutual?”

She raised her eyebrow and smirked at him. “Well, I can only speak for myself, but I think so?”

He wanted to kiss her, but instead he squeezed her knee tighter and kept nodding to himself. This is real. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I can wait until you figure it out, Kristen. I’ll wait for you.”

“Oh, I already figured it out. It’s just sorting out the logistics of getting what I want.”

“And what do you want?” He felt his insides vibrate even though he was as still as a rock.

“You.” Her voice was calm and she stared straight through him.

He swallowed at the certainty he saw there. “Then that’s what you’ll have. And Kris? I want more than fucking. And I can’t imagine ever being done with you.”

“What are you smiling about?” Rob kissed her forehead. They were lying in his bed the following morning with Bear and Bernie curled up on the floor near the end of the bed. It felt familiar and new. He sighed happily and squeezed her closer to his side.

“Oh, nothing. Just something Shia said.” She teased, avoiding the topic of her trip down memory lane. “About you. On stage. Wearing my lipstick.”

He chuckled and rolled her over onto her back while tickling her sides, in love and comforted by the fact that she always had him just as surely as he’d always had her.


	39. Their little daughter is afraid to go into the school because she’s the only one having to wear glasses. But Rob tells their daughter of the first time he saw Kristen put on glasses when she didn’t even need them.

“I look like a dork.”

Rob watched his 10-year-old daughter as she tried on different frames. The optometrist had pronounced that their daughter was blessed with 20/70 vision and required corrective eye wear. “I think you look like a beautiful girl in glasses.”

“Dad, you have to say that.” She rolled her eyes, looking like a miniature blend of him and Kristen. When she’d do little things like groan and roll her eyes, he was reminded of how in no time at all she’d become a teenager ready to date and then an adult who barely called. He never wanted her to grow up.

“What did we say about rolling our eyes?” He tried hard to play the father, knowing exactly where she’d picked up her mannerisms. Although imperfect, her vision allowed her to observe her mother’s many ticks, little flashes that he loved. And yet, he was a dad and had to at least try to point out bad social cues.

She sighed. “It’s ruuuuude.” She frowned at her reflection. “Do I hafta wear these, Daddy?”

It still did something to his heart to hear her call him that, and he suspected his smart little devil already figured that out. He wasn’t complaining though. He fixed his chair so he could face her completely and motioned for her to do the same as he dragged the options for frames closer. He removed the thick, cat-eye frames already on her face and set them aside. “Well, you don’t have to wear those, but do you have to wear glasses, Jo.”

He tapped her poked out lower lip and then proceeded to put different frames on her cute freckly face.

“Your mum wears glasses.” He could tell their daughter struggled not to roll her eyes at that. She knew this already. “When I first saw her, she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen until you.”

Satisfied at the lip twitch he saw there as Jo fought a smile, he continued while holding up red, square-shaped frames before shaking his head, setting those aside in favor of another pair. “That was when I saw her in a movie while I was still alllll the way in England, but then I met her while trying out for a part, and she—“Jo listened intensely—“she took my breath away.”

“Prettier than movie mommy?”

“Beyond prettier. I couldn’t think or speak clearly. She was gorgeous, and she wasn’t even wearing make-up.”

“Wow.” She tilted her head at him. “Was she wearing glasses?”

“No.” Her face looked disappointed at that. “But later when I got the job, she and I were hanging out … practicing.”

He struggled with his words here, unable to divulge to the young girl that her parents were flirting with attraction and disaster while watching inappropriate, rated NC-17 movies. “And she put on these giant—and I mean HUGE—framed glasses.”

His daughter giggled at his expression of exaggerated, fake disgust. “Then what?”

He put the last pair on face. Perfect. “I knew it was love.”

“You didn’t make fun of her?”

“Nope.”

“She was still the prettiest?”

“She was the most beautifulest. Just like you right now.” She laughed at his silly words and turned to see what he saw in the mirror. She didn’t think she looked horrible. “The other kids will make fun though.”

He hated to see her worry about what others thought, but it wasn’t a feeling so easily shed. He and his wife had become accustomed to the harshness of critics and grew a thicker skin over time. She’d get there. “I wish I could promise you that they wouldn’t, but I can tell you this. The ones who are worth your friendship won’t.”

The next day, Rob waited outside the school with the other parents. Sometimes their assistants had to pick up Jo if her parents were working or had a meeting, but he’d promised he’d be there to pick her up that day. Her first day with glasses. Several kids started pouring out the front doors, and he spotted her running toward him, loping awkwardly much like he did at her age. Blessed with her mother’s eyes and her father’s awkward legs, she had a huge smile on her face.

“Daddy! My friends loved them! And Stacy got jealous because…” He couldn’t stop grinning as she excitedly chirped about her day.


	40. rob sees the pics of "i love rob" written on K's car

So do you? Kristen re-read the message from the familiar number. She wanted to feign ignorance, but a few of her friends had already mentioned the pictures online, the letters and heart outlined in dust that she failed to notice. Her focus had been on resisting the urge to play a game of hit the paps. She was sure they’d written “I <3 Rob” on her car. Fucking paparazzi.

With her thumbs, she shakily tapped out a reply and pressed send. Does it matter?

She hadn’t even locked her phone before it started to vibrate with an incoming text.

I wouldn’t have asked if it didn’t.

Her heart was racing as she considered his text. For a moment, she felt silly trying to read into seven words for subtext. It reminded her of early on in their relationship, if you could call it that, when they were still on such uncertain ground. They’d come so far, and yet here they were again.

She needed to hear his voice, and she needed to be heard. Muttering “fuck it” under her breath she called. He answered on the first ring, but it had felt abnormally long to her ears.

“Kris?”

“I’ve never stopped.”

“Come over.”

She sucked in a deep breath at the heavy promises in his tone.

“And Kristen?”

“Yes?”

“I love you, too.”


	41. Kristen being a bit shy about Rob seeing her Joan Jett mullet for the first time & Rob thinking it looks sexy

Kristen chewed the nail of her thumb while waiting for the video chat invite to be accepted. It was a regular thing, one of the few constants in their uncertain schedules on opposite sides of the country.

His jaw and throat appeared first as he adjusted the laptop, the image causing her thoughts to drift to the whispers she’d left there last time. Her thighs squeezed together.

“Hey.” His smile was large and genuine. He looked over her face on the screen almost sweetly despite the faintly dark circles under his eyes. It had been a long day.

“Hey.” She smiled back, relieved in the feeling that was still there when their eyes met even on a screen and miles and miles away.

“Are you cold?”

She shook her head.

“Then why the hoodie?” He grinned, knowing what was hidden under there. He’d seen pics of her rockin’ Joan Jett hair earlier in the day. “C’mon, let me see.”

Letting out a gust of air, she yanked down the hood quickly and tossed the hoodie on the bed. She was actually kind of hot.

“Fuck.” She looked at him then. Her eyes hard and giving nothing away. Her heavy Joan Jett stare. She wasn’t sure what that muttered word meant. Fuck you look good? Fuck that’s horrible and all the Twihard fans will have your head on a stick? Fuck what? “Fuck me, Kris. Wow.”

She raised an eyebrow and her lips twitched when she saw his tongue take a swipe at his lower lip.

“You look so fucking sexy.”

“Yeah?” She almost looked shy then.

He found himself nodding involuntarily. “Do you think—“ he swallowed at the thoughts running through his mind—“do you think you can borrow the leather pants when we see each other in a few weeks?”

She laughed at him, but her laughter was more like releasing the giddiness at a kind of power in love and lust that she’d never felt before. He thought she was sexy. No matter the style or color or cut of her hair, no matter the cut-off jean shorts and ripped tees, no matter the short, playful skirts or long, elegant gowns, no matter the stuttered words and middle fingers blazing, no matter the movie star smiles or slightly nervous, pained ones or the bitchy bitch glares—all the different versions of her in front of and behind the camera and on and off the carpet, he wanted her. He saw her and wanted.

“Yeah.” She didn’t have to try for a sexy look in her eyes and smile. It was all there for him. “I’ll bring them.”


	42. Kristen gets asked about her new ring during a late night interview. Rob is watching at home. Thank you!!

“Now you’ve got an observant fanbase. They identify and track your whereabouts and even the things you wear.”

Kristen nodded her head while trying to remember not to fidget or bite lip at where Jay was leading this question. “Yeah, yeah, they’re really—“ she shook her head to find the best word—“dedicated.”

“That’s one way to put it. They’re really interested in your rings and you wear other items, but your rings—they have special meanings to you?”

“Absolutely. I started wearing them when I was in my teens, and there were sets that I never took off. I’ve changed which ones are my constants, the ones that I absolutely must wear, a few times. I actually wear fewer now.” Her fingers immediately went to her most recent one, drawing Jay’s eyes even though the motion was more of a protective mechanism.

“Tell us about that one.”

“This? Oh! This old thing?” She tried to joke and her shoulders bounced with the effort to keep her in that chair and not sprint out the studio. “It’s um… no, it’s…”

She stared at it trying to find the words that could possibly contain what it meant. “It means so much to me, and not because of how it looks or how much it cost, but because of the person who gave it to me. He’s the most important person in my life.”

She’d meant to say “they” and leave it vague, but her tongue had gotten away from her slipped on a pronoun.

“Wow, Kristen. That’s sweet of you to say about me.” Jay covered, noticing her discomfort and causing the audience to laugh. “We’ll back right after this commercial break.”

Rob muted the television and looked at his girlfriend sitting up in their bed surrounded by their dogs. It was one of his favorite sights, and he saw it often. He tossed the remote to the side.

“That wasn’t as bad as you said.”

“You don’t think so?” Without saying the words, she knew he understood what she was asking, the connection between the words she’d said on-air and the ones published more than a year ago.

“Nope. People could use a little reminding.” He looked at her smugly while crawling closer. Bear and Bernie’s tails thumped on the bed.

“Of what?” She was nervous about what he had planned, but she was intrigued by the extended foreplay despite it being unlikely to pay off with the babies in the bed.

“That I’m still the most important thing and how you want my babies.” Giggling, he pounced then, and the dogs immediately jumped up barking and joining in what they recognized as play.

Squirming and laughing, Kristen gasped. “My… aren’t you vain? I’m telling Clare.”

“Go ahead. You made me this way.” He blocked her attempt to tickle him in retaliation by twisting and pulling his elbow closer to his side, but Bernie managed to lick his neck causing him to laugh and fall off balance. He collapsed on the bed beside Kristen and rolled on his side to face her as their dogs clambered over them still in the mood to play and be touched. “Damn it, Berns, you’re supposed to be on my side.”

“Nuh uh, that’s all on you. Besides when are you going to remind people?” With a raised brow, she looked up from scratching Bear’s ears.

“Hmmm… remind them what?” He couldn’t remember saying something similar on air or in print.

“Just exactly what I do to you.” A sly look took over his face then. That interview.

“How about… I let the dogs out and you remind me.”


	43. Hey, can you write something about rob and kristen freaking out because their newborn baby is sick (nothing serious, just normal baby stuff). Thank you

Rob gently cradled little Robbie. He’d taken to secretly calling to her that name when Kristen or his mum couldn’t hear him. He bounced her a little in the motion that she liked, but it did nothing to soothe whatever was behind her cries. “There there, Robbie. Daddy has you.”

His wife entered the room then with the phone against her ear and tears in her eyes. “Yeah… uh huh…”

Rob looked into her eyes as they silently communicated. She shook her head. “Yeah… Clare, we tried that, but she won’t stop and … I know.”

She took a deep shuddering breath, drawing power from Clare’s words on the other line. It was just a minor cold, but they were still so new at being parents. Every bump felt like an earthquake, and they hated to see their happy little girl suffer.

Kristen hung up the phone. “Mum said she might be getting an ear infection. She’s going to get some ear drops, but she said a warm compress might help?”

“We have one of those?” Rob’s fingers skimmed the back of the wailing child in his arms with worry.

“Yeah, Mum.” The explanation was sufficient for her husband, and she smiled despite herself. Her mother-in-law had thought everything. They would be just fine.


	44. Rob is interviewed on the premiere of The Rover and interviewers are saying shit about Kristen and he's getting pissed and telling them they should leave his wife alone (accidently revealed that RK married secretly)

As soon as he exited the limo, wiping his lips with a satisfied smirk, the waiting crowd erupted with screams. He was shocked at how many fans had shown up to The Rover premiere. His Twilight past seemed somewhat foreign to him now after more than a year of not having to talk about vampire hybrid babies and epic loves. He gave a quick wave to the group, signed items, and posed for a few pictures. There wasn’t much time in the schedule for meet and greets tonight.

He walked down the carpet, posing with his co-stars and the director, with one hand in his pocket, fiddling with the simple circular band. It wasn’t on his finger, so he had the constant need to touch it and assure himself it was still there.

“So, you’ve got some gnarly teeth in this movie, I hear?” An interviewer asked.

“Yeah, it didn’t take much. I just ate sticks of butter and didn’t brush for about a week.” He joked before Nick gave the signal to move on to the next and on it went.

“Now the timing for this movie couldn’t have come at better time.” One lady said jovially after a few questions.

“Well, I guess. I was looking for something different, and the opportunity to work with Guy and David… couldn’t turn that down.”

“And the bonus of getting away from your ex—“ Her comment was cut off as his people immediately swooped and moved him to the next. Seething, his hand immediately went to his pocket.

“Were there any ladies down under that fit your fancy?” The next interviewer inappropriately insinuated as if he and Rob were long time pals.

“No.” He wasn’t in the mood for jokes and without a bottle of water to distract his mouth, he continued. “In fact, my wife Kristen is the only woman who fits my fancy on this or any continent.”

He then pulled out his ring and placed it on his finger, the camera capturing the moment.

Nick and Stephanie shook their heads in amusement as they headed toward the entrance to the theater.

“This should make the next few weeks interesting.”

“Well, while you’re busy, don’t forget that you owe me $50.” Stephanie smiled. She’d known Rob wouldn’t last the first red carpet without letting his changed status be known.

Once inside, Rob immediately went to his wife, who’d stayed in the limo to sneak inside the premiere with little fanfare. Spotting the ring on his finger and the laughing faces trailing behind him, she grimaced. “Ah, fuck, hun! You made me lose my bet with Steph!”

“Face it, chickadee, I know my boy a tad better than you.” Steph winked before walking away.

“ARRRGH.” Rob leaned back at Kristen’s groan into his chest, so he could see her face. He was relieved to see her laughing. “Maybe you should’ve married her.”

He pretended to consider it, and she pushed at his stomach playfully before tucking the tips of her fingers into his waistband to bring him closer again. “Maybe you shouldn’t bet against your husband.”

She yanked herself away again and narrowed her eyes at him. His grin widened, knowing he could never lie to her. “You knew! Traitor! And I wasn’t betting against you! You bet against yourself, dude.”

“And I still won! Nyah nyah!” Laughing, he leaned in to whisper in her ear. “Don’t be mad, Kris. I promise to share my winnings with you.”


	45. Could u somehow write a totally non-sexual scene where it just shows how comfortable they're w/ each other?

On the edge of the bed, Rob leisurely changed the channels. He hadn’t settled on something to watch before drifting off to sleep. They’d been home and jet-lagged for a few hours, but his eyes were glued open. He was certain he’d be dead to the world as soon as his head hit the pillow with Kristen beside him.

He’d been staring at some program on the discovery channel about hyenas when she walked in while toweling water out of her hair. He was conscious of her nudity, her small and curvy frame that felt like home against his, her petite but perfectly proportioned tits that he enjoyed teasing with his tongue, and that ass that fit in his hands perfectly. He was aware, and despite his body’s exhausted state, he was awake. He could even be willing if she desired it. But he was just a man, a very tired man, so he doubted it would even be good.

Besides she seemed just as tired and ready for bed as she curled into his lap. With her head tucked under his, she stared at the program that captured most of his attention before she’d walked in. His thumb traced infinities onto the skin of her upper thigh, and he kissed the top of her head still slightly damp from her shower.

“Ready to sleep?”

He felt her nod against him, but she didn’t move from his lap. And he didn’t move her as they watched the mating of hyenas.


	46. sth angsty where RK are about to divorce after 5 years but then realizing they cant ever do that because of their children and they fight for their love and fall in love with each other all over again.

Kristen edged her away closer to the front of the pub while trying to look inconspicuous. It had been a last minute decision when Matilda had offered to watch their boys for the night. His invitation had surprised her after their previous discussions with their lawyers fell apart. Although she loved London and didn’t want to take their sons away from their father, she’d let slip that she was considering returning to Los Angeles full time again. While their oldest would be able to stay with Rob, it wasn’t likely that their 1-year-old would want to be apart from his mother. Neither parent wanted to be away from their children, so a heated argument surrounding their custody had followed.

It had been several weeks since then, and although their infrequent words in front of the boys were tense, there was a weariness in the set of their eyes when they looked at each other, words on the tip of their tongues that they didn’t know how to form. I’m sorry. I miss you. I love you. When did we lose sight of us? Instead they ignored that bubble in their chests and stayed attuned to their boys who questioned why daddy wasn’t staying and would he be back in the morning for breakfast because they liked the helicopter noises he’d make while delivering their food to the table…? It wasn’t long before the boys got their wish one morning and then each morning after that, and their parents pretended the look they’d see in each others’ eyes wasn’t their own pain reflected.

Recognizing two blonde heads in a corner, Kristen darted under arms, excusing herself along the way.

“Hey,” she sighed while unwrapping the scarf from around her neck. Although it was freezing outside, the number of bodies in the pub made the temperature rise.

Sienna and Suzie took their turns embracing her, happy to see that their friend had made it after all.

“Rob said you weren’t coming.” Suzie’s large eyes widened with sympathy. “He seemed sad about it.”

“More like devastated.”

Kristen bristled at that. “Well, if someone had given me more notice… Forget it, I’m here. What’s happening anyway?”

“The guys are performing tonight.” Sienna’s eyes twinkled as she caught sight of Tom whispering to Rob near the stage.

“Yeah? Marcus and Jack doing a new set tonight?”

“Yep.” Suzie nudged her friend before leaning in. “And certain actor, screenwriter and father of the year is doing a small opening number.”

“What?” Kristen had been scanning the room, but she turned to look her friend in the eyes. “Rob’s singing?”

“Know anyone else who fits that description?”

“Rob’s performing tonight? Like performing with his own songs?”

Suzie nodded as Sienna laughed at Kristen’s shocked expression. It had been years since Rob had performed in public. There had been a few jam sessions at small social gatherings, but nothing quite like this since before Twilight’s success made performing on-stage an impossibility. When Rob first walked into that audition years ago, she’d sworn she could see right through to his soul and vice versa. But the first time she’d heard him sing, every word and strum of the guitar secretly meant for her out of everyone in the room listening, she knew it wasn’t some miniscule attraction or an infatuation that would fade. Still, she’d fought against it until she couldn’t.

She shook herself from her mental walk down memory lane when the pub’s background music stopped and Rob made his way on the stage. He wore a beanie, flannel, and jeans, looking not unlike the first time she’d see him. If he’d been smiling, the boyish mischievous look would still be there. He looked a little nervous as he expertly tuned his guitar before looking at the audience.

“It’s been awhile since I’ve performed.” A few catcalls issued from the crowd. “This will be a quick set, just a few songs, before we get to the real show. I wrote these songs for my wife and they’ll always be true for me, so yeah….”

A few people took pictures and recorded the set, recognizing a rare moment unfolding when they saw one. The famous couple’s split had been plastered all over the rags despite the lack of details, not that that had ever stopped The Sun. Kristen stared, unmoving with her beer getting gradually warmer in her hand. She recognized one of the songs, but the rest seemed new or at least the riffs and melodies were new to her ears. She grabbed Sienna’s hand and squeezed, and she didn’t let go until the set was over. With tears in her eyes, she looked at her friends.

“Did that just?” They nodded. “I’m … I need some air.”

“Yeah, you go on ahead. Want us to tell Rob you’re outside?”

She felt her head nod as she walked back toward the exit, the pub chatter pressing against her from all sides. Not caring about the temperature or dirt, she sat on the ground and leaned her head against the building. She stared at the sky and listened to people walking by or standing around for a smoke. She hadn’t smoked in years, and for a moment she considered bumming one off a stranger. Strangely, she hadn’t thought about smoking throughout the trial separation and divorce proceedings.

“Well, if you wanted to tell me you hated it, you didn’t have to get me alone to do it.” A voice to her left joked, sadly. “This seat taken?”

She shook her head while trying to find her voice. “Rob … that was….”

“Awful, I know. I put you on the spot and—“

“Shut up. It was amazing. You … you were amazing up there.”

“So you liked it?” He grinned at her and leaned in allowing their arms to touch.

“I more than liked it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yep, I’m sure your groupies did, too.” She teased with a smile, letting him know she wasn’t serious.

“Oh, I’m only concerned about the groupie I wrote those songs for in the first place.”

“I thought you said they were for your wife?” She raised her eyebrow, and she felt something inside her flutter at their flirting and the way his eyes shone.

“She is my wife.” She blinked at that and looked away.

“Not for long though.”

Rob released a huff. The carefree nature of their conversation dissipated into the cool night air. “Kris… I know it’s not that simple. That I can’t just sing it back to how it used to be, but we can’t throw it away either. I don’t want to lose you or the boys. I don’t want to lose us.”

“I don’t want to lose us either.”

“So you’ll stay, and we’ll tell the lawyers to fuck off?” She laughed at his eagerness and set her chin on his shoulder while looking up at him.

“I was never going to leave, but yes and yes, but maybe not in those words.”

He moved quickly to hug her and began peppering her face with kisses. He smiled at her laughter before placing a deeper kiss onto her lips. “I’ve wanted to that every single morning at breakfast. I love you so much.”

“I’ve wanted you to do that.” She couldn’t fight her smile as she kissed him again before pulling back. “It’s not going to be easy.” She warned. “But I love you, and I want for us to be a family. We’ll need to make some changes.”

“Anything. As long as we have each other.”


	47. hello! sweet sexy happy moment in the bathroom.. :) thank you so much for all those amazing fictions !!! V

Kristen scrubbed the day out of her hair. It had been an emotionally wrought day on the set, and she all she wanted to do was crawl into bed with Rob in their hotel suite. Few people knew that they were practically living together now, and they went through the steps of booking separate rooms as a cover. With the exception of one night after they’d argued, they spent every night together. She smiled thinking of the make-up sex that occurred early that morning when Rob showed up at her door and pushed her against it, needy and unconcerned with their chances of being caught.

“Kris? You nearly done?”

She opened one eye and poked her head out. “I have to rinse out my hair.”

“Shit. Where’s your room key?”

“Um… it should be in the back pocket of my jeans.”

He picked up her jeans hurriedly and shook them. “It’s not here.”

“Maybe I left it in my trailer? Why do you need it?”

“Kris, I have to piss like I’ve never fucking pissed in my entire life. I can’t hold it any longer.” They stared at each other then; a new relationship milestone to climb.

“Oh.” She squinted, ignoring the soap in her eye. “Go ahead then.”

She went back to showering as if her boyfriend was not in the bathroom with her–peeing. She held back a giggle when she heard him sigh with relief. In an odd way, she felt giddy with love in that moment and shook her head at herself, getting all romantic because her boyfriend peed as she showered.

The toilet flushed and instead of leaving, Rob undressed and jumped in the shower with her.

“Feeling better?” She grinned down at the part of him that was already hardening at the sight of her naked and wet.

“Uh huh.” He leaned in to kiss her.

“Oh no you don’t. Wash your hands and yourself before… y’know.” She gestured at him.

He laughed and kissed her shoulder as he eased himself under the spray and began stroking himself as she watched. “Of course. It all ends the same anyway.”

“Ends what the same?”

“Me. Fucking you. Against that wall.”


	48. Rob is in London to spend just a little time with his parents before visiting Kristen in Europe. He’s looking through photographs of his parent’s marriage over the years OR has a conversation on relationships/Kristen with his dad.

He wasn’t sure what led him to his parent’s sitting room until his eyes landed on the cabinet where his mother kept their family albums, filled with images from before his birth and into the present. Clare had pulled out the most incriminating one during Kristen’s first visit. Although he wanted to shield her from pictures of his younger self on a leash (and in a dress, thanks to his older sisters), he’d paused at the sight of his mother smiling hugely at his girlfriend, who stared at each image with a look that made him stagger. She was really there with him after what had felt like an uphill battle. He felt undeserving and yet so completely grateful for her presence.

He was alone on this trip. He’d felt weighted down until his plane landed, each of his steps becoming more purposeful as he neared his parents’ home. He grinned as he gazed at one fraying photograph of his parents when they’d first started dating. Flipping the pages, past images of family friends that he barely knew, he landed on pictures of their wedding and, not long after, images of his mother pregnant with Victoria. They looked happy and expectant, and for as long as Rob could remember, he’d wanted that life for himself. He didn’t long for it until he saw her. He’d just been living his life, having fun and being young, when he and his friends discovered a rare bird with long brown hair, skinny and awkward legs bent on bed and come hither stare. She was completely mesmerizing. He’d been in a relationship at the time, but she’d unknowingly embedded herself in his mind that night. He’d never admit it, but he dreamed of her. When he’d finally met Kristen, he realized she was all those things and yet strong and sweet. To say he was smitten would’ve been an understatement.

“That’s one of my favorites.” Rob was startled at the sound of his father’s voice. Richard motioned to the album in his son’s hands and pointed at the image of him and two blond-haired girls touching Clare’s rounded stomach. “Now, don’t get the wrong end of the stick, I love your sisters, but I needed another lad on the team.”

Rob laughed as his eyes landed on the next picture of Richard wearing fake jewelry and sipping tea with Victoria and Lizzy. He knew that within the next few pages, there was a similar picture of his younger self in the same position, but he was in a dress and had lipstick messily smeared on his mouth. Much like his father, he didn’t appear to be annoyed. In fact, he’d seemed happy to be included in his sisters’ playtime.

“Do you ever think about what’s not captured here?” He looked up at his father’s face, which was puzzled by the question. “I mean, all these images of us, smiling and happy. It’s all so perfect, but life isn’t snapshots of the highlights. Sometimes you meet the girl, and you don’t get the happily ever after.”

“Where’s this coming from? Are you and Kristen all right?” His father was aware that he and Kris had hit a few bumps in their relationship, but that was a year ago, and a lot had changed since then.

“Oh yeah, we’re fine. Better than, really.” Rob brushed his thumb against the spine of the photo album before setting on the table. “I’m just ready for all of this—“ he gestured to the room decorated with the warmth of family photos—“but sometimes I wonder if I’m remembering things differently, if I’m glossing over the bad shite we’ve been through.”

Richard nodded in understanding and squeezed his son’s shoulder. He wished he could assure him that everything would okay. “Son, there will always be difficult times in a marriage, but it’s about who you want and trust to be by your side throughout them. I used to think I made a mistake with my first marriage, but I realize, now, that it needed to happen a certain way to make the life that I’ve had with your mum possible.”

“So, you’re saying it’ll be okay because I can always divorce and marry again?” Rob raised his eyebrows. He wasn’t affronted, but he was surprised by the unusual advice from his dad.

“No, I’m saying… I’m not sure what I’m saying.” Richard laughed. “That’s one way to look at it, I suppose, but also you’re not me. You and Kristen, you two have weathered so much more than I’d ever experienced before getting married to your mother. Your mum and I, we’ve had our share of bumps and it’s only made those highlights brighter and our bond stronger. What does that tell you?”

Rob sunk back into the couch and wedged his fingers under his thighs as he considered his father’s words. He thought of Kristen. Her eyes and her voice first thing in the morning. Her laugh when she couldn’t believe something he’d said. Her affectionate giggles and following moans when his body would reach for hers in the morning. He thought of their fights. Her disappointed stares, stubborn glares, and even her tears. Regardless of the reasons, she still looked beautiful to him when they were upset with each other. And when they would storm away from each other, he never doubted their status as a couple, contrary to popular reports. He never stopped, and she’d never given any indication that she wanted to stop fighting with him and for them either. To say he wanted to marry Kristen would be an understatement.

In his mind, they were already married.

He glanced up at his father’s proud, misty eyes. “I need a ring.”


	49. All My Life / different take on Thieriot’s wedding (magic realism)

She’d never danced or laughed so much. Or that’s what guests thought as they watched the surprising beauty yell, “Oh yeah, that’s my jam,” and jump around with her admirers, the flock of young girls on the sort of high you only get from feeling close to a star.

Poor girl deserved to let her hair down after the year she’s had. Spectator speculation, there’s nothing more circumspect and yet it’s to be expected. Festivities such as these are packed with the typical on-looker and interloper, watchful eyes, elbow-nudging, finger-crossing that the relative in showbiz will have a few more famous friends to spy and discuss at the next work day in your unglamorous life. But for now you have a front row seat for one of the most wanted starlets on the screen. His best friend, you hear one young girl proclaim to another, and you tuck that away because it makes no difference that the best friend is in LA. That’s another story anyway.

If Kristen Stewart was concerned about the thoughts and conclusions she was being measured up against, she revealed no disdain or fear. She’d decided early on with her platonic plus-one that she’d stay moving, stay smiling. Don’t let me stop, John, she’d said on the flight. Not for a moment. And so they stayed dancing and silly, only stopping for a few pictures. Silly faces. No stopping, no frowning. Just keep moving to forget. Forget LA sunrises under loving arms after hours spent not sleeping. Forget the delicious burn of his beard on your thighs. Forget swaying in someone’s arms and whispers about how one day this will be us. Just laugh and dance, and if she ever felt sick of laughing and dancing she just laughed louder, danced faster. Then the slow songs started, and the longing hit. The room and the gaggle of girls around her made her feel claustrophobic. She had to escape.

But this isn’t the story of a girl who danced her heart out at her not-really-best- friend-but-quite-good-one’s wedding. This is the story about a girl who her loved her heart out and lost and won. It all started not with a couple saying “I do,” but with a different couple saying “I can’t.”

 

“I can’t–”

Rob and Kristen stood in their kitchen as their dogs eagerly devoured their breakfast, oblivious to the serious discussion the humans were having above their heads.

Kristen turned from where she was leaning near the espresso machine. She took in the tightness around his eyes. He looked exhausted as if he didn’t get much sleep. She woke up that morning with a strange, disoriented feeling her chest, and he wasn’t beside her. She showered. Moving through her routine slowly, lost in her thoughts until she heard Rob enter the kitchen behind her. His beard was thick, thicker than she liked it, but she’d never tell him to shave. Not today anyway. She absently wondered what he would do if she ran her fingers through it and tugged. She half-smiled more at her random thoughts than at him and spoke. “You can’t what?”

“You first.” He looked anxious. As if he was going to be sick.

“No, you go on. I don’t really know what I was going to say now.” She shrugged and smiled, wanting to see him smile back. He didn’t.

“I’ve–I’ve packed some things.”

“Oh … Planning a trip?”

“Something like that.”

“Okay.” She wanted to ask where and why, but her nervousness burned the questions on her tongue. She felt numb.

“I can’t go on like this.” He motioned between the two of them.

She nodded, still not understanding. Nothing had felt right when she woke up, but maybe the feeling had been there all along.

“Maybe–” He shook his head. “We need time apart. We’re not… This isn’t working, Kris.”

“No, you’re right. If you’re unhappy, I don’t want you to be here unhappy.”

“Kristen.” He scrubbed his hands across his face. He didn’t want to fight, she could tell, but he wanted something. Assurance that she’d be okay, maybe? She’d never been so uncertain of his thoughts.

“I’m not fighting you. Go.”

“Kris–”

“Can you do me a favor? And take the dogs for a few days?” She didn’t know why she’d cut him off and felt the need to push, but she knew he could use the company. So could she, but….

He looked surprised by her request, but he wasn‘t going to question it.

“Yeah, of course. We’ll probably have to get that all sorted. Custody agreement or something.” He tried to crack a joke at the ridiculousness of it, but it was forced and awkward.

And then he left.  
___

“I can’t believe you guys broke up.”

“So he just left? Like he packed his shit before you woke up and was all ‘I hope we can be friends someday, love’?” Kassie put on her best English accent.

“I still can’t believe he left. That you guys are over. Over! The end of an era, man… this shit happens, but you two seemed–OUCH, what?” Jaden rubbed her side from where Suzie elbowed her and looked up at their friend who seemed to be fighting the urge to cry. “Oh, babe! I’m sorry. Seriously, I was deep-throating that foot in my mouth, wasn’t I?”

The sob morphed into a surprised laugh. Kristen nodded. “Yeah. Maybe we could… change the topic? Please?”

“Of course.” The girls all looked at each other silently.

“Oh! I started writing the other day ….” Scout shared proudly.  
___

Kristen sat in the car with John and absently played with where her ring used to rest on her finger. Max’s wedding was the first wedding she’d attend after Rob. She wondered how long until she ran out of milestones after Rob. Her first cup of coffee after Rob, minutes after he left with the dogs as she’d asked. She’s sat there in their kitchen and reminded herself it was hers now. She’d walked through each room and allowed herself to feel the emptiness that came with the realization that everything felt exactly the same, even with so much altered. His sneakers no longer beside the couch. Their shared closet looking somewhat less full. She’d wondered if he felt unsure about which shirts to take since so many belonged to neither one of them solely.

She hadn’t even thought about the wedding until Max called, his voice was cautious and soft. Undoubtedly, he’d seen the pictures and the rumors, and with nobody talking, that meant nobody knew what to think. She assured him she’d be there. Wouldn’t miss it and that of course she still had a plus one. She didn’t divulge more than that. Let them wonder.

“We can always leave after the ceremony.” John offered.

“No, I couldn’t do that.”

“I have been practicing dance moves.”

“Oh, really?” She laughed. “Well, now I know we’re not skipping out early.”  
__

The ceremony was beautiful and she was happy for her childhood friend. Her fingers twitched with the desire to text Rob, to say what, she wasn’t sure. Before she could act on it, a small hand waved in front her.

“OMIGOD I’m such a huge fan and I loved you as Bella. Can I take a picture with you?”

“Sure. Just um… Don’t put this online, okay?” She wasn’t sure if they’d heard her over the thumping of the DJ, and then she decided for just one night she wouldn’t care about the consequences of a picture. Let them think they know.  
__

“I feel like I should apologize.”

“Huh?” Kristen had snuck away for a moment of fresh air, managing to duck away unseen. Her goal was to avoid any or many one-on-one chats. She’d been successful until the DJ played a slow set, and she had to escape the dance floor.

“You’ve been surrounded since you got here. I didn’t mean for you to become the entertainment.” Max grinned.

“No, man.” Kristen shook her head and waved off his concerns. “Those girls, they’re great. Really sweet. I’m having fun. Congratulations! I can’t believe you’re married.”

“Thanks.” Max laughed as if remembering something. “I think I saw a few fellas hoping to cut in, but they were intimidated by your date and disappointed when you disappeared.”

Kristen blushed a little at that. She’d noticed them and John’s “move along, sir” look.

“He’s a bit protective, and right now…” She shrugged.

“Yeah, I get it. I wasn’t sure if your guy was coming or not.”

“We’re not…” She’d never actually said the words out loud. They’d always been spoken to her or assumed in silence.

“Hey, you don’t need to talk to me about it,” Max nudged her shoulder with his as he leaned against the wall. “You know… Lexi and I, we’ve had our share of bumps in the road.”

“Yeah?”

“Yep, there was a moment when I thought it was over for good.”

“What changed?” She didn’t like to pry any more than she liked people prying into her business, but he seemed to be in the mood to share. She couldn’t stop her whispered curiosity.

“I did. Or maybe we both did, I don’t know. I just know that I felt what it was like to lose her, to go days and weeks without her, and nothing felt more wrong than that. I didn’t feel like myself until…”

“Until?”

Max looked down and smiled to himself. “Until I got a chance to fix it.”

She nodded as if she understood what he meant.

“So would you?” She raised her eyebrows, confused by his question. “Would you fix it? If you could, I mean?”

She considered his question carefully. Her friends had dragged her out of the house, which she’d scrubbed clean prior to that. She cooked and planned and devised ways to not feel so alone, but it only made her feel lonelier when it was over. She cuddled with her babies and asked them questions about Rob. Was he happy? Who did he spend his days and nights with? Did he get enough to eat? Was he sleeping well? She knew their dogs couldn’t respond or judge her for it. And before John arrived to pick up the dogs to take to Rob’s house, she’d whisper secrets for them to carry. I miss you. I love you. I wish we could be different.

“Yes.”  
__

Kristen woke up, gasping. She felt like she’d been underwater but still breathing, barely. An uncomfortable feeling settled in her chest, and something felt off. The last thing she remembered was speaking to Max. She hadn’t been drinking, but her lack of memories after that and how she ended up in bed provided enough evidence to the contrary. She groaned. What the fuck happened last night?

She heard a dog bark. A familiar bark. “Bear?”

She opened her eyes and then quickly closed them again. And then opened them again. “John?” She whispered. She sat up and looked around her room—her room, the room that existed in Los Feliz, not Reno. “What the fuck?” She stumbled out of bed and with her legs caught in the sheets she fell. “Shit!”

“Kristen? You okay?” That voice. Rob. She had to hold herself back from running toward it. She didn‘t know what the fuck was going on. “Kris?”

“Umm–” She cleared her throat. “I’m okay. I just … fell.” Shit, I totally drunk dialed him, but how did…?

She took his silence to mean he accepted her excuse, and she made her way to the bathroom. Lost in thought, she muddled her way through her morning routine. She was staring at the espresso machine when she heard Rob enter the kitchen.

“I can’t.” Déjà vu. She’d been about to say, I can’t remember what happened last night.

She took a deep breath and turned around. She wasn’t sure what she was hoping to see, but there he was looking exactly as he’d looked that morning. What did he say? I can’t go on like this. He’s packed, and I’m going to let him walk right out. We’re going to laugh about shared custody of Bear and Bernie because that’s what divorced couples do, but we’re not married. Never will be. And I’m going to be in a fog and think about him and if he’s thinking about me. Did you think about me? She looked into his eyes then. She could see that they were pained and tired. She wanted to run her fingers through his beard and wrap her arms around his neck so he could rest his head on her shoulder. She wanted.

“You first.”

“I can’t really remember what I was going to say…” She said with regret.

Resigned, he nodded his head and opened his mouth to speak.

“But–” Kristen cut him off. “I do want to say that I know that you’re leaving me. That you’ve packed and that you’ll be staying at the other house, and I’m going to tell you take our babies for a few days, not because I don’t care or have better things to do, but because I think you’d want their company. I think you need it?”

“How?” His eyes filled with tears, and she bit her lip. An ache worked its way from her chest to her throat and her eyes.

“I love you. Rob, I love you. With everything that I am and nothing will change that. You can take all the time you need, but don’t–don’t think I’ll ever stop. You–you found me on a fucking DVD.” She laughed as she swiped away few tears with the back of her hand. “You found me at an audition for a script you barely read and a movie you’ll only like for sentimental reasons. You waited for me to find you, too. If this is what you need to do to find me again, to find us? Please… please?”

Her lips trembled, and she couldn’t speak. For once she wanted to say everything, and she couldn‘t speak. She tried to calm her heart and continue, but before she could, she felt his arms around her and she could hear the rumble in his chest as he repeated “I love you” again and again.

A cold nose against her leg and whimpers interrupted their embrace, and they pulled back with a laugh. Sitting on the kitchen floor with their legs stretched out toward each other, they showered their very confused, needy dogs with attention.

“This isn’t a goodbye, Kristen. I know it’s not easy to believe, but I don’t think I could walk out that door if I thought it was for forever. I want you in my future. And not as friends. Or not only as friends.” He smiled at her then, and his eyes looked a little brighter than they had before.

“Oh?” She smirked at the huskiness of his tone. “I wouldn’t want that either.”  
__

“I can’t believe he moved out!”

“I can’t believe he used trash bags. Homeboy could’ve invested in some boxes or plastic bins.”

“But it’s only temporary though, right?”

“Leave it to you two to not even break up correctly.”

Kristen rolled her eyes. “We’re spending some time apart. We still see each other occasionally with the dogs–”

“Leave it to you to not even do time apart correctly.”

The girls laughed.

“Fuck you guys,” Kristen flicked them all off with a big smile. “New topic! New topic!”  
__

Why she removed the gold band around her finger, she had a hard time explaining to even herself. She hated the feeling of its absence, but at the same time it felt like a crutch. A crutch her relationship didn’t need. She didn’t understand what happened to send her back or maybe it was all in her head, but everything felt like déjà vu except her head was a little clearer this time around. After days of puzzling over it and a round of questions with a very confused Max, she decided to embrace the not knowing and be happy with the second chance to say everything that needed to be said and heard. She never told anyone about re-living the past few weeks, but her smiles felt more genuine and her laughs were never forced. She felt light and optimistic about her future, their future, even if she couldn‘t explain the past.

She absently played with her bare finger and almost laughed when she recalled Rob‘s determined glare at that hand when she‘d seen him last.

“I hope you’re not planning to leave too early because I’ve got some new moves I’m looking to show off.” John fiddled with his collar beside her.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve seen all these moves.” She looked at him smugly. “But I can’t wait.”  
__

She hesitated to press send and worried it would be too forward to send him a message while at a wedding ceremony. Their friends had been right that they sucked at this giving each other space thing. If anything it’d been like they were dating again or for the first time since they’d never actually did date if she thought about it. Oh, fuck it. He likes when I’m forward.

But before she could, her phone buzzed.

Rob: I bet you look beautiful tonight. I miss you. Do you still miss me?

She deleted her previous message and typed out a new one. I do. Do you still love me?

I do.


	50. RK getting excited for each other about starting to film Camp X-ray & MTTS  [Combined with: rob and kristen start going out again (maybe in the car with the ping pong story) during their break and it feels awkward]

She’d called him about borrowing her friend’s ping pong table and was surprised when he offered to pick her up even though it would mean an unnecessary route on for the drive. She didn’t fight him though since he seemed eager for the company. Her company.

“… and he kept going on and on about this mixing table that he spent a ridiculous amount of money on, and I was thinking of the steal we’d found on Craigslist.”

“But it was a good party though?”

Rob shrugged and twisted his lips. “What did you do?” He’d mentioned the gathering at his house before, but she’d declined his subtle invite. She’d already made plans with her friends.

“Oh, you know, the usual.”

“And the usual was good?”

“It wouldn’t be the usual if it wasn’t.” She laughed at her little joke, but his face seemed serious. “I didn’t mean—“

“No, no you’re right. The usual is something worth wanting.” He seemed deep in thought at the stop light. She wanted their earlier banter back.

“I can’t wait to start filming. This movie is just so … it’s gritty as fuck.” She pushed her head back into the seat.

He licked his lips and glanced at her, wondering if she’d be offended by where his thoughts immediately went. “I can’t wait to see you in those fatigues.”

“Ha! And I can’t wait to see you in limo driver gear. Are you going to wear one of those caps and open doors?” She giggled.

“Kris, I had no idea you had a fixation on limo drivers.”

“Nah, I just like the idea of you chauffeuring me around. It doesn’t even have to be a limo.”


	51. Since K now has tattoos, her and the OG are trying to persuade Rob to get one as well, and they take him to a parlor. He and K both get something that holds a meaning for their relationship. pleaase xx

Rob smiled goofily at the chatter around him while shaking his head. “No, that’s not happening.”

“Awww, c’mon, dude! Get some ink on yo’ skin.” Cj held up his hand in a pose, causing Rob to grimace. While he’d been surprised to realize the markings on his girl was sexy, the similar mark on their friend was not.

“Contemplate infinity, yo.” Scout coughed out and began giggling at herself. “Connnnn…temmmmm…plate. What a weird word.”

Kristen plopped down on his lap and held her pipe up for him. He squeezed her closer.

“What do you think?” he whispered in her ear after releasing the smoke in his lungs.

She shrugged. “It doesn’t matter to me. Although…” She grinned at him mischievously. “I wouldn’t mind a property of Kristen Stewart tattoo right here.” Sure that her friends had lost interest and weren’t paying attention to the couple, her hand drifted lower. He grunted and grabbed her hand with a shake of his head.

“Fuck. And no, consider that already done in invisible ink.” He laughed into neck before kissing her beneath her ear. “If—if I ever got a tattoo, I want it to be just ours. As much as I like infinity on you, I don’t want anyone else to share it, maybe not even see it.”

“That might difficult, baby, with the tattoo artist and our jobs, but I agree.” She pecked him on the lips as he pulled her body closer with the tips of his fingers inching under his-and-her shirt.

“Get a room.”

“That’s a done deal.” Rob looked down at the woman in his arms, and they all knew he was talking about more than rooms and tattoos.


	52. kristen working with cronenberg in the future. She ask rob for advice. Later the movie go to premier in cannes and rob goes to support her.

A lengthy script appeared on top of the one she was already reading, causing Kristen to look up at the person who put it there.

“I know I say this a lot, but I read this and all I could see was you.” Rob sat beside her and opened the screenplay while he spoke excitedly about Cronenberg’s newest project and the role she was meant to play.

“I don’t know, Rob.” Kristen chewed her lip as her eyes scanned the page. The part sounded meaty and unconventional, exactly what had been in short supply in the large stack of scripts she’d read and re-read, trying to imagine the possibilities, and so far she’d come up disappointed at the prospects. In the few pages she’d managed to read, she could already see herself playing this part. “I’d love to work with David, but….” She trailed off, not wanting her next words to sound stupid. “He’s yours.”

Rob looked at her in puzzlement and cracked a small grin. “He’s mine?”

“Shut up. Don’t make fun.” Kristen groaned and laughed at him or herself. She wasn’t really sure at this point. “That’s how people think of you two. Cronenberg and Pattinson”—she waved her hand as if she was reading their names on a marquee—“the Dynamic Movie Duo. Scorsese and Leo. Uma and Tarantino. People are going to think—“

“Hey.” Rob made a slapping motion. “Now you shut up. Since when have we cared what people think? David wants you for this. He saw you, too.”

Kristen raised an eyebrow. “Right. And you had nothing to do with that.”

“No. I swear, he gave me the script because he wanted another set of eyes, sure. But he was the one who said your name. I was thinking it because I see you in literally every screenplay I read and write, but he was the one who mentioned you first.”

“You swear?” A smile slowly emerged on her face as he nodded. “Okay. Okay, go away, so I can read it completely.”

….

“Tell me again,” Kristen whispered. Curled up with her cell phone to her ear, she fought the nervous flutters in her stomach. She’d arrived in Toronto that afternoon, and after a long dinner with the cast and crew of the latest Cronenberg film in production, she called her husband.

“I love you. You are going to be amazing tomorrow, and David is going to love you almost as much as he loves me.”

“Ha! You should be nervous that he might love me more.”

“Not possible.” She imagined his smug little smirk. “You’ll love him or maybe you’ll hate him. He’s not going to want multiple takes, so do like I said and pretend the first take is your only shot. It could very well be it.”

“Got it.” Kristen’s stomach clenched. At this point, butterflies would be more welcome. “I don’t want to let anyone down.”

“You won’t,” Rob assured her. “You’re still the most talented actress I know, and I’ve worked with quite a few.”

“Shut up. You have to say that because you’re my husband.”

“No, I don’t have that say it because you’re my wife. I say it because it’s true.” His matter-of-fact tone and unflappable faith in her all these years still managed to catch her off-guard.

“Yeah, well, tomorrow I’ll make David believe it.” She sucked in a breath as if more oxygen would produce more confidence. It had been awhile since she felt this nervous before the first day of shooting. A small part of her couldn’t shake the idea that disappointing Cronenberg would reflect poorly on her husband somehow. She shook her head at her own silliness.

“Trust me, you wouldn’t be there if he didn’t, but damn, right you will.”

…

As soon as the lights went up, thunderous applause followed. The crowd stood and clapped and hollered shattering records once again. This wasn’t her first or even her second time in this position, but it never got old. She was absolutely floored by the response, and she squeezed the hands of one of her co-stars and Cronenberg’s to keep her body from shaking. She could barely hear whatever David whispered in her ear. She cheeks warmed when she looked up to see Rob beaming at her and clapping wildly with the rest of the audience. He looked her with pride, and his was the only opinion she needed to know.

His mouth began to move, and her eyes dropped to read his lips. ‘I told you so.’


	53. I love reading y’all’s stories!! Could write something about Rob while he is filming this summer trying to work through his feelings?

“It’s all kind of incestuous, isn’t it?” Mia joked as they walked toward the site where they were filming the scene. He laughed at her use of the word, the exact word that Kristen often used to describe how entwined his friends were professionally and personally. His laughter didn’t stop as he considered how that unnatural phenomenon had worked its way into Kristen’s friendships and previous co-stars. Of course, Mia was referring to her boyfriend Jesse also being friends with Andrew.

Rob wondered if she included Kristen in her thoughts and if she didn’t say it out loud because of all the rumors surrounding them lately. Most of the people on the edges of their inner circle politely avoided the topic of his girlfriend, but it quickly became obvious who assumed the tabloids to be true and who wanted desperately to know insider info with the little comments they’d drop. A bonus about neither confirming nor denying anything was seeing for himself who wanted to be in their proximity for all the wrong reasons.

“Incest is best in this business.”

“Oh, certainly. One of the many perks.” Mia giggled softly. “I don’t even know what that means.”

“I rarely know what I mean.” Rob shoved his hands in his pockets, and the topic shifted once again to the movie and working with David Cronenberg.

…

Rob ducked into the nearest establishment, feeling like he was being followed. He peeked out the glass doors to see a gaggle of females clearly on the prowl for Pattinson. His jaw clicked with tension. He’d just wanted to walk the streets alone and had hoped the night would be a decent disguise. As much as he was thrilled to be working on this film, he was eager to go home soon. If he wasn’t hiding from paps, he was hiding from fans who had decided to take up the pursuit of stalking like paps. He wasn’t sure which unnerved him more. He pulled the hat further down on his head before heading out and walking quickly toward his hotel.

…

“I don’t even know if it’s fucking worth it any more.” Rob paced in his trailer.

“So, quit.”

He stopped and stared at Dean. “What? No, I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t? There’s a difference, kid.”

“Can’t.” Rob couldn’t imagine himself in any other business. “And won’t.”

He didn’t want to do anything else, and he was excited by the avenues opening up for him. It all started when he followed his heart to an eccentric director’s home, and the person he discovered there awakened a drive and motivation within him that had lain dormant for too long.

“So, then it is worth it. Most of the time. Just live for those moments and, I believe your more attractive half would say, ‘fuck the rest.’”

They both chuckled at that. Nothing was more predictable than the curses that would tumble out of her mouth if she could witness his angered questioning state at that moment. They’d thought that his leaving LA for work would be a vacation from the paparazzi that followed them daily, despite how they’d given them absolutely nothing worth selling. Persistent cockroaches. His rage about their situation continued to fester even miles away and now toward a different set of pests. They were everywhere, and where they weren’t, fans or, more likely, opportunists were happy to take their place. All he wanted was to be home and to be with her again.

“Yeah, fuck the rest.” He could almost hear her saying those exact words to him, and it was exactly what he needed. Dean slapped him on the shoulder as they moved toward the door. And later as the camera rolled, he counted himself among the lucky ones.


	54. About them having like a personal/intimate conversation at a kinda early stage in their good friendship.

“I’ve never done it.” Rob strummed the guitar and looked down shyly with a grin.

She couldn’t stop her hand from shoving at his shoulder, cutting off the G-chord abruptly. “Fuck you, dude. You’re lying.”

Flipping off a giggling Rob, she reached around him to grab the chips and salsa. “All guys do it as soon as they realize it’s something to brag about.”

“Oh, you know from experience then? Interviewed all the lads at your young age?”

Kristen stared at the small circular chip under the weight of the spiciest salsa they could find in this small town: medium. She frowned and considered her options. 1) Eat it, yearning for the kind that could set her mouth on fire. 2) Shove it in the face of her attractive co-star who’d made the third jab of the day at her age. She peeked up through her lashes at a fearful looking Rob and made her decision. Raising onto her knees, she leaned forward and slowly moved her hand until it was inches from his face. Challengingly, she stared into his eyes until he opened his mouth to accept her offering.

With a flop back onto her butt, she smirked as he chewed in wonderment. She licked the bit of salsa that was still on her thumb with a shrug and a small smile at her own bravado around him. “Maybe I do.”


	55. RK response to the birth of Prince George (and all that hype)!

Rob snorted at the telly as he flipped channels before turning it off altogether, tossing the remote aside, and then reaching for his toy cigarette.

“What’s that about?” Kristen furrowed her eyebrows at her boyfriend who was chuckling to himself.

“You Americans—so patriotic until there’s a royal birth. You may have won the American War of Independence, but you still care for the Queen’s brood.” He took another swig of beer and stared at her smugly, knowing how much she hated when he started any sentence with a superior “You Americans.”

She rolled her eyes and snatched the bottle from his long fingers, ignoring her still half full bottle on the table. “You Brits, so loyal to your homeland, buying up property in this here American soil”—she mocked him with her Duck Dynasty twang—“surfing in our waters and sticking your cocks in our fine and fierce American cunts. We have to toss y’all a few bones so you don’t look too pathetic, dear.”

Chuckling, Rob watched her throat as she took a pull from the long necked ale. “Can you imagine how our kids will react to their mother and father talking like this?”

Her cheeks reddened at where his mind had drifted, and she studied her thumbnail, absently picking the corner of the label. “Do you think we’ll actually talk like that around them?”

“Sure. Why not?”

Kristen shrugged. “I don’t know. People change. Not everyone is William and Kate.” She smiled and shook her head softly.

“Do you think about that a lot?” She looked at him then, confused. “About us—whether we’ll make it to that point?” He clarified.

“Oh. Um.” She chewed her lip and studied the label again. The nail polish that Scout had painted on her the previous night was already chipping. “I want us to.”

He waited, knowing that she was still considering her thoughts, not to disguise them, but to make sure she was understood.

“But who can be certain? I know what I want. I want us and kids and a career on my terms, but we don’t even know what we’ll be doing next year.” She glanced up at him then and let her eyes stay on his. To say that they’ve had their ups and downs in staying on the path that they’d drawn and redrawn together late into the night, would be an understatement. But as Richard once told them, that’s how real life love stories are written and re-written.

Rob stared into her eyes and tried to understand what he saw there. “What if we broke up?”

“What!?”

“I mean, not like… just what if, what do you think would happen if we broke up?”

“Fuck. I don’t know, Rob. I don’t think about that. Have you?”

He grabbed her beer from the table and finished it. He didn’t like where their conversation was going, but for some reason he couldn’t stop himself for making it happen. “Emotionally, yeah, I’ve let myself go there… just to see. I thought about how it would feel, the process of all the shit that comes with ending…. It’s been a long time since I’ve been me without you. I had to make myself go there, mentally, to know I was still there. You understand why, right?”

Kristen nodded, even though she didn’t, and yet some small part of her wondered if she did in some nightmare that her waking hours suppressed completely.

Examining her serious-pondering face, Rob groaned. “I’m sorry. I’m ruining your last night at home before you leave tomorrow.”

“No, you’re not.” She smiled a little, but it was forced.

“Bet you’re wishing you’d saved your girls night for tonight instead of yesterday.” He teased to lighten the mood and scooted closer, hoping she’d still want his arms around her after his confession.

“Definitely not.” She smiled a little more genuinely although he couldn’t see it as she curled into him and tilted her head up to give his Adam’s apple a peck. He shivered, his body visibly enjoying their closeness. Despite the awkward tension minutes before, they caressed each other’s arms and backs while softly kissing, reassuring each other, until their mouths became more demanding and their hands pulled at their clothes, leaving them naked and writhing on the couch. With his fingers clutching her hips, his thumb ghosted where she most wanted to feel him. His hips met with hers in some unfamiliar pattern. Their bodies colliding like atoms, determined to transfer everything they have into the other.

Kristen woke up and groaned a much different groan from the ones that came from them late into the night. Her body was spent and she grinned at the sight of her knocked out partner in crime. His lips reddened and soft. She didn’t want to wake him, but she couldn’t resist pressing her lips against his and smiled when he happily moaned and pulled her closer in his sleep. As she let herself be held, her mind rewound to the conversation from the night before and why it had made her feel so uncomfortable. When she couldn’t take the direction of her thoughts anymore, she expertly extricated herself from his arms and performed her regular morning routine. After writing a quick note to Rob, promising to text when she landed, she added a teasing line about getting to see his best mate and goddaughter more frequently for 8 weeks. Accompanied by their furry babies, she waited for the car to the airport and tried to fight off the dark edge to her thoughts as she replayed Rob’s words again and again.

You didn’t wake me. :(

Kristen’s phone buzzed just as she prepared to board the plane to Edinburgh.

Sorry, babe. You looked too happy with your pillow to interrupt. She kept her text light despite her souring mood, unsure of where it was crashing down from—her complicated thoughts or the cockroaches and their crass words that had struck a nerve in a way they hadn’t in quite some time. She scrolled through her playlists to find the right music to mellow her mood, and let her mind drift elsewhere.

“You’re looking a bit peaked.” Sienna automatically raised the back of her hand to Kristen’s forehead and then her cheeks in a motherly way. She looked at her husband’s friend with concern. They’d both noticed that while Kristen was at her best while the camera’s rolled, she’d been somewhat listless during their down time unless she was playing with Marlowe.

“I’m just tired.”

Sienna nodded at the younger girl’s explanation uncertainly. She shared a look with Tom who was cutting up Marlowe’s sandwich and apple the way Aunt Kris did. Ever since Kristen had made their daughter’s lunch during the second week of filming, they were stuck replicating the presentation because, according to the little princess, it “tasted better.”

“Are you sure?” Kristen looked into Sienna’s eyes then and recognized what she saw there. Empathy. She knew exactly what her friend was hinting. She suppressed a groan, realizing how her married friends shared everything with each other. She knew they wouldn’t talk to Rob about her behind her back or vice versa, but with her and Rob’s opposite schedules, they’d been relegated to emails and random texts, never in real time. Always out of sync.

They’d had being apart down to an art form, and yet this time around, she felt alone. She let herself be caught by that feeling. What if this was all they were going to be and then they ended? What if who they were meant to be were people who needed to be with someone else? What if they broke up? What would happen? She would be sad, of course. She couldn’t imagine a bigger heartbreak. She’d hope he would hurt just as much, but then at the same time she wanted to spare him that pain and if she wanted that, she knew he’d want the same for her. And they would survive it because that melodramatic “me without you can’t exist” shit isn’t a foundation. That’s shit people say when fucked up on love and lust, but isn’t that the point kind of? What’s the point of being with someone if you don’t find yourself swept away in love and lust from time to time. And we’re more than that anyway, she thought. We’re that and more, she amended. As individuals, they were more than “them.” They, her, him, it … her thoughts were martelé notes, each fear another staccato vibrating a tenuous string.

They had existed. They existed. When she found she was pregnant the week before, she was happy and apprehensive. They had to exist.

She let out a sigh and reached for a magenta crayon to continue her and Marlowe’s drawing for Uncle Robbie. “I just… I don’t want to say it. Not because I’m not happy about it. I am, but”—she blinked away tears—“I want him to be the first to hear me say it in person.”

Before she even finished voicing her wishes, Sienna was beaming. Kristen couldn’t stop her laughter and the smile that took over her face when Tom sat down next Marlowe, placing a plate in front of his little angel.

He winked at Kristen, ecstatic for his friends, but understanding why she wanted to save this for just her and Rob at the moment. “So, I was thinking about our scene….”

Kristen arrived home a week later to an empty home. She’d encouraged him to go to Sia’s listening party, knowing she’d be too exhausted by the time her flight landed. She shook her head thinking about his stubbornness, and she was just as stubborn, if not more. Fuck, we’re going to have trouble with this one. Her hand patted her still flat belly.

She left her bag at the door and greeted the dogs while making her way toward her favorite room. She smiled at the fully stocked pantry and refrigerator. She missed this kitchen.

“I’m wounded. You’ve missed the kitchen more than me.”

Kristen jumped and spun around. “You!” She pointed her finger. “You’re not supposed to be here.”

“I’m not?” He screwed up is face in feigned confusion. Her eyes narrowed, and he grinned and pulled her toward him, wrapping her resistant arms around his waist. “I left early,” he explained as he leaned in for a kiss.

“Uh huh.” She raised her brow.

“Sia says hello.” He kissed her lips, which automatically responded despite her rigidness, and slowly she melted, convinced he didn’t skip out on their friend’s night.

“So do I.” She yawned out the “I.”

Giving her ass a little squeeze, he peppered her face with kisses. “Let’s get you to bed.”

He’d been somewhat nervous about her return, given the strange note she’d left on 2 months prior and their even more disconcerting communications while they were working apart. He’d been worried about her, them, until he saw her greeting the kitchen, which had been a wreck only 24 hours before. He sent a silent prayer in thanks to their friends who knew their girl is happiest when her kitchen is clean and loaded with all of her favorite ingredients for home-cooked meals. His stomach emitted a sound at the fond memories.

“I know what that means.” Kristen patted his belly before rising from the bed.

Rob grunted in satisfaction at the sight of her stretching and adjusted himself. “That’s right, woman. Make your man some bacon.”

“Please.” He added sweetly when she paused to glare at him. “I love you.”

“Uh huh.” She left the room, and he could hear her chattering to the dogs as she walked to the kitchen. He smiled at the sounds.

Chewing her nail, Kristen second guessed how she’d planned to tell him. It seemed so cheesy, but when Marlowe had innocently started drawing and commissioned her to assist in a present for her absent uncle, it seemed kismet. And fuck it. She wanted it to be cheesy. She wanted to watch him react and tell the story to their family and friends.

She placed Marlowe’s artwork on the fridge and started cracking eggs. Her heart sped up at the sound of him entering the kitchen behind her. He opened the fridge to get a bottle of water. She paused when the fridge closed. This is it. She could almost hear each swallow as he audibly quenched his thirst. She could hear the cap being placed on the bottle, and the bottle being set on the counter before his arms wrapped around her midsection. He kissed the side of her head.

“I missed you so fucking much, Kris.”

She let out a breath and relaxed. “I missed you, too.”

“So fucking much?” He whispered with a nip at her ear.

“More than.”

“Mmm I like the sound of that. Can you show me?” His hands wandered south of her navel as he pressed himself against her. He missed more than sex, but the sight of her in nothing but her underwear and a threadbare shirt made him focused on one thing only. “I’ll show you.”

“Rob” She moaned as his fingers teased her.

“Do you have anything cooking yet?” She shook her head. “Good.”

He picked her up and carried her back to the bedroom. Although kitchen sex was hot, he had something else in mind. She bounced on the bed where he’d tossed her, and she couldn’t stop herself from laughing at his face when he honed in the parts of her that jiggled. A week ago she’d noticed that her boobs felt a little bigger. A part of her wanted to tell him. But selfishly, she didn’t want to interrupt where this was headed, and stubbornly, she wanted him to see it for himself as she’d planned.

“Baby, how do you keep becoming more beautiful?” His hands strummed every part of her skin as they worked to remove her clothes. From anyone else, that would’ve been a line, but she could feel the awe and sincerity in his words. She wanted to cry. Running her fingers through his hair, she pulled him closer, so she could kiss him the way she’d been too sleepy to do the night before.

She couldn’t stop giggling afterward. “What’s so funny, huh?” He poked her side. “That was explosive reunion sex. I’d place it in my top three.”

Shaking her head, she let out another laugh before kissing his chest even though she wasn’t worried about him interpreting her laughter in a mean way. “I’m just happy.”

“Yeah?” He grinned down at her face turned up to look him in the eye.

“Yep. You make me happy.”

“Well, remember that the next time I piss you off because I will.”

“Noted.”

He gave her a squeeze before moving out from underneath her. “Since I’ve rendered you boneless, I guess it’s up to me to hunt for food.” He puffed out his chest as he put on underwear and a shirt. Cooking completely naked seemed wrong somehow, and since bacon was on the menu, he needed a shirt. “Lucky for you, breakfast is my specialty.”

“Oooh, lucky me.” She laughed and burrowed herself into their bed.

When he opened the door, the dogs came running in. “Oh, my babies….” She talked to them and spoiled them with attention while Rob busied himself in the kitchen. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed when she felt rather than saw a figure in the doorway.

Rob stood stock still with Marlowe’s drawing in his hands, her extended family portrait. It had been Kristen’s job to write everyone’s names. His goddaughter had drawn herself and her parents, Art, Matilda, and Rudy. She’d even drawn Johnny and his family. She also included Marcus, Sam, Bobby, and Rob and Kristen. Except between Rob and Kristen was another little figure.

In pencil, Kristen had written, “Due May 20,” with an arrow pointing to the family Marlowe had imagined completely unaware of her accuracy. In her mind, all couples had to have a baby eventually.

His hands shook, and his mouth seemed to move in several directions at once. “We’re having a baby? I mean, you, because you’re doing the hard part, and I’m not denying that but we… Kris, we’re going to be parents?” As he spoke, he made his way toward the bed where Kristen was grinning and crying and nodding her head.

“I’m pregnant, and we’re having baby. Are you happy about this?” She knew she was now, but it had taken awhile to settle in and grow into something resembling nervous excitement.

“Scoot. Scoot. Let me hold her.” Rob pushed their overexcited dogs away. “Fuck. Of course I am.” He held her more gently than necessary. “I’m also scared shitless.”

Kristen barked out a laugh. “So am I.”

“God I want to have we’ve-created-a-baby-with-our-sex sex, but I’m really hungry and there’s food on the stove.”

Pushing him away, Kristen urged him to return to the kitchen before they literally burned the house down. “Good. Because we’re famished.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a 4-way combo that includes 3 other requests: 2) assuming that rk took a break and while theyre drinking rob suddenly ask kristen if what’ll happen to them if they really broke up, K get the wrong impression about it, they have sex and when rob wakes up K is no longer there (she went in abroad or whatever) bc she thought he will dump her, and after a few months she found out shes pregant.. Idk, u can do Rob’s reaction… im really into angst righ now. thank you! (AN: to whomever requested this one, I apologize if this is not the exact scenario you imagined or if it’s not angsty enough. I had to adjust things in a way that I felt was remotely believable for R/K characteristically or else this request would’ve never been written, tbh) 3) Few weeks ago I asked for a fic in which Tom and Sienna are the first to know that K is preggo, because Tom was filming Sils Maria with K. Since we know that Tom is not attached to SM, will you still write it? Only with another movie? 4) my request is Kristen just coming back home after filming overseas and give surprise for Rob. Thanks.


	56. Could you write about Rob being cast as Batman instead of Ben Affleck and the media responding? Maybe Kristen ‘congratulates’ him? ;) Really love your fics! :)

BATMAN IS NOT A FUCKING VAMPIRE – Today. 10:15 a.m.

What about Vampire Batmen tho? –Today. 10:20 a.m.

LOLOL Vampire Batmen A++++ –Today.10:35 a.m.

ugh. dis dude is uber lame and is gonna ruin the franchise. it’s george clooney all over again! –Today. 10:17 a.m.

OMGGGG THAT JAW WILL LOOK FUCK HAWT FRAMED IN BLACK RUBBER *licks screen*–Today. 10:18 a.m.

bright side: the superhero movie trend will surely die. –Today.10:22 a.m.

Plot Twist: Vampire Batboy inadvertently ushers in a new golden era of cinema with his awfulness. –Today. 10:30 a.m.

He averted his eyes from the bottom of the article announcing his latest role. Too fast of a reader, he’d already skimmed the first few comments. Just as he and Nick had anticipated. The fanboy backlash. Everyone warned him that where the fangirls were obsessive in their sleuthing, the fanboys were downright lethal, especially if they did not approve. And they would not immediately approve of the man who once played Edward Cullen donning the Batsuit.

“I thought you said you never read comments.”

Rob closed the laptop. “I wasn’t.”

“Uh huh.” Kristen walked around the couch, sat at the opposite end, and pulled one of her legs up to rest underneath her. They stared at each other for a few beats before cracking huge grins. “I’m shocked, dude. I was so sure you wouldn’t touch another franchise with a ten foot pole. And Batman at that…” She hissed through her teeth and made a hand motion as if to say “smokin’ hot.”

He looked at her sheepishly, knowing that she was referring to their many conversations during which he’d been dead set against doing another franchise in his lifetime, but when he’d met with the director and talked cinema for nearly 3 hours before getting to the vision for this film, he knew it was something he needed to do.

“But no, I see it.” She held up her hands to block everything but the lower half his face. “Oh, yeah, just as I suspected… that jaw will look fuck hot framed in black rubber.”

“You did not.” The jaw in question dropped before Rob started giggling and crawled over to her on the couch to kiss and nuzzle her neck.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”


	57. Coin Toss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So…there are a lot of theories and disputes going on about our favorite couple. We have received requests from both sides of the debate and our answer is…Heads, she’s pregnant; Tails, she’s not. Take your pick, but either way, we wish this ship happy sailing. :)
> 
> This is a collaboration between Chris and Dninja and there are two drabble/one shots, covering two separate requests.
> 
> ~ About k stressing about being pregnant at Sundance
> 
> ~HI! Your stories are amazing! Based on all these ridiculous rumours about K’s pregnancy, can u write something about R’s reaction to them, and (supposedly theyre on a break) him getting in touch with K, wanting to know the truth? And that working as a way to bring them back together? Thanks :D

HEADS

She watched out the window of her room and bounced to try and warm herself as she waited for him to answer the phone. Exhausted, she only wanted to hear his voice before heading to dinner. 

“Hello,” he answered. 

“Hey,” she sighed as she stilled and collapsed into the bed in her suite. “I miss you.” 

“I miss you too,” he chuckled. “But, I feel like I actually got to see you today.” 

“Huh?” She asked as she flung her forearm across her face. 

“Lots of pictures out there. You’re glowing,” he teased causing her to groan and laugh. 

“Robert, Stop it!” She warned and rolled onto her side, burying her face in the bed. 

“What,” he laughed. “You are, but you look tired, too.”

“Hmmmm,” she sounded. “That’s not tired, Babe. That was pure fucking stress.”

“I’m sure you did fine,” he tried to assure her. 

“I don’t care what I said! I’m afraid of what they saw,” she groaned. “Could you tell?” When Rob didn’t immediately give her the answer she wanted, she flopped onto her back and ripped her arm from her face. “Rob! Could you tell?” She demanded as she sat up and started to frantically search for her computer so she could pull up the pictures and see for herself. 

“Love, calm down,” he tried to soothe her. “I can tell, but I know. I look for it.” 

“So does everyone else,” she whined as she launched herself off the bed and strode across the room, stopping to palm her face in her hands. “Jesus fucking Christ!” 

“Not as closely as I do. If I didn’t know, it wouldn’t be obvious,” he explained. “You’re fine.” 

Not completely convinced, she grabbed her computer and flipped it open. “Ruth said…” she started, but trailed off as she googled herself and waited for the pictures to load. “I wore these shirts and tried to cover…” she started again, but failed to complete her thought before she was looking at the press pictures that had been released throughout the day. “Oh fuck,” she whimpered and collapsed into the closest chair. 

“You’re stressing over nothing,” Rob sang through the phone. “You’re only seeing what you know is there, Kris.”

“Yeah?” She sounded unsure as she stared at the screen of her computer, analyzing the pictures. 

“Yes, Love,” he laughed. 

“I want to go home,” she groaned as she folded herself into the chair and dropped her head against the back of it so she could stare at the ceiling instead of at the pictures. 

“Soon,” Rob whispered. 

“Not soon enough and not to you,” she complained. 

“Tomorrow you’ll be home and I’m almost finished. Suck it up for one more night,” he said, trying to lighten her mood. 

“Did you just tell me to SUCK it up?” She laughed and trailed her fingers to her stomach where she poked and prodded briefly before sucking in. 

“I did,” he admitted and howled with laughter at his own bad joke. 

“One of these times this isn’t going to work,” she groused when she realized that no matter how much she tried to pull it in, she couldn’t control the size of her belly as well as she’d like to. 

“Soon it won’t matter,” he said quietly with an edge of pride in his voice. 

Kristen smiled, relaxed, and released her breath and her muscles. “Soon,” she mused as her fingers played over her rounding middle. 

 

TAILS

“Have you talked to Kristen recently?” Clare’s eyes twinkled as she glanced up from her coffee.

“Mum, don’t.” He groaned while scratching the new growth on his face. “I told you that we’re—it’s complicated, okay?”

“So you’ve talked?” She raised her hand to silence his open mouth. “Not pushing. I happened to see a recent picture of her across my newsfeed. That’s all, dear.”

“Your newsfeed?” He hadn’t realized his mother even had a newsfeed. “That’s all?”

“She looks great.” Clare barreled on as if she didn’t notice her son’s annoyance. “Happy. Glowing…. She put on a few pounds, but it looks so good on her. All womanly and glowing.” She sighed.

“You said that already, Mum.”

“Said what, dear?”

“Glowing.” Rob shook his head. “I told you stop reading those tabloids. They will rot your brains.”

“I haven’t been reading tabs.” She stood from the table to place her cup in the sink. “Not that any are reporting on….” she muttered. “I’m simply commenting on a glow.”

Her son snorted. “When have you ever simply commented?”

“Exactly, my sweet boy.” Clare ruffled his hair on her wait out of the kitchen. “It’s good to have you home, but please shave and call your girlfriend, complicated or whatever, you kids….”

His curiosity piqued, he did something he swore he wouldn’t do after New Year’s Eve. He googled “Kristen Stewart.” He sucked in a gasp at the sight of her face on the right side of the screen and resisted the impulse to click ‘more images,’ particularly for the teasing image of her in that red dress at Cannes. Remembering his mission, he clicked on the news of her film at Sundance. A proud warmth overtook him. He knew how much that project meant to her after a brief hiatus from filming.

Flipping through a series of photos of her, he tried to see it—the glow. She did look fuller. His eyes honed in on her chest and thighs. I will not get aroused in my parents’ dining room. But what the fuck did a glow look like? She always looked like that to him. So fucking beautiful, it hurt to imagine that she could ever not be his girl. It was complicated, but it wasn’t that damn complicated based on how it felt. And if his mom said she glowed….

Without thinking and with his heart thudding in his chest, he reached for his phone.

“Rob?”

“Um, yeah, uh Kris?”

She laughed. “Yeah, Rob? This is me, but you know that. Are you okay?”

“I’m great. I’m fuck… I’m looking at a picture of you.”

“Rob.” She whispered. “I should let you know I’m with JB and Ruth right now, so it can’t be… y’know that kind of call, but maybe later? Skype?”

“No. I mean, yeah, but um, no, that’s not why I’m calling. You look full—um shit, that’s not what—Mum said you’re glowing.”

“Glowing?”

“Yeah. Um. Are you … glowing?” He wasn’t sure what he wanted the answer to be, but he knew it wouldn’t change anything. It was complicated, but it would never be too complicated for him to want out.

“Last I checked, nope.” She stayed silent a beat. “Rob, you know you’re the first person I would tell if I were, right? Because you’re the only one who could do that, make me want … to glow. You know that, right?”

“Yes. Well, now I do. I did, but my mum.”

“Yeah, mum. Tell her I said hello and to leave you alone about me. She’ll know good and well when we’re ready for … glowing.” She giggled into the phone. “Now what did you mean when you said I look full?”


	58. Can you write about Rob & Kristen doing an open mic night. I can see Kristen being really nervous to sing or play guitar in front of people. A duet and a smooch ;)

“We don’t have to do this.” Rob leaned in to whisper in the petite woman’s ear. The bar was crowded, but he could see her hand gripping the neck of the bottle as she picked at the label.

Kristen couldn’t suppress her annoyed glare beneath the brim of her snapback. Shaking her head, she took a deep breath. “No. This is … it’s fine. I’m fine.”

“You’re sure? I don’t want to push.” He nudged her slightly, allowing their jean-clad legs to touch.

She stared straight ahead with a determined look at the stage. A young man sang along with a hypnotic beat on his keyboard. She knew if she looked up at Rob, she’d see nothing but understanding. She could totally let her nerves get the best of her, and he’d accept it and her as he’d always done throughout their years together. But she wasn’t that young, gangly girl from Into the Wild anymore or at least she was sure she didn’t want to be even if that’s the girl that first caught his eye and his heart. She was a grown woman now. She wanted to stand on her own and with him, and this was the challenge she’d set for herself.

“Nope.” She took another swig. “I’ve got this.”

Rob smiled; his cheeks a soft pink. Secretly he’d always fantasized about this moment.

With the previous set finished, they were called up to the stage much to the surprise of the people in the bar. She rolled her eyes when she noticed a few people whip out their phones, most likely to tweet or snap a photo. She mentally prepared herself for the onslaught that tomorrow would bring. She and Rob settled on the stools with their guitars in hand, and he nodded at her to take the lead.

“So ummm … I never thought I’d do this, but this seemed like a good night to start something new.” Her cheeks reddened when their friends whistled from the back. She could pick out Suzie’s voice yell, “sing it, lil’ mama.”

Her voice shook at first, but then naturally she gained confidence with the words she’d penned and when Rob’s voice joined hers, she almost wanted to stop and just look and listen to him. She couldn’t bring herself to even glance in his direction, knowing she’d immediately lose focus.

After two songs from her, Rob caused an entire table to squeal and Kristen’s face to turn a new shade of red when he suddenly started in on ‘Falling in Love for the Last Time.’ She looked at him them and shook her head at his intentionally causing a stir.

“My husband, the troll, everybody.” She joked into the mic, her words causing a new round of squeals and gasps before her brain could catch up. Rob’s fingers stumbled over the chords, and he began laughing as a flustered Kristen tried to explain that she didn’t mean it in that way.

“Kris… Kris… It’s okay.” Shifting his guitar to the side, he leaned in to caress her cheek and gave an affectionate kiss. A normal interaction for them, but one never witnessed in front of an unfamiliar audience. He turned toward the crowd. “I’ve always insisted that priest on the set of Breaking Dawn was real.”

His wife shook her head and groaned into her hands.

“On a serious note, I think we should end this performance with a longtime fantasy of mine.”

She raised an eyebrow, preparing for anything remotely lascivious to tumble out of his mouth.

He looked almost sheepish, and she could practically hear the internal swooning from the girls in the front row at this point. How could he still manage to look so adorably boyish? “Would you do me the honor, Kristen Jaymes Stewart-Pattinson”—she laughed while flipping him off—“of singing ‘Angel from Montgomery’ with me?”

With mischievous grin and feeling strangely emboldened by their audience and the alcohol they’d imbibed while waiting to perform, she stood so she could lean down toward his mouth where she planted a slow and gentle peck. “I’m glad you asked, husband.”


	59. Hey. Love all your stories! What about Rob reading all the amazing Camp X-Ray reviews and being really sweet to Kris like "I told you so" and she´s kind if shy about it ?! Cute and fluffy pleeeeaaase thanks

“In a turn that will surprise and impress those who know her only from the “Twilight” films, Stewart is riveting, especially in the final scenes, where Sattler reverses the camera’s perspective so that Cole is the one viewed through the window, appearing as a sort of prisoner herself.” He quoted over Skype, ignoring her cringe.

“Rob, please don’t.”

“Don’t what? Don’t notice when people see what’s been there all along? Even though they’re idiots for being blind to your talent this entire time, Twilight or no.”

She shook her head petulantly and pulled up a review on her phone. “… while the dialogue is a clatter of cookie-cutter exposition, intent on telling us everything but explaining very little. Sattler’s film leans on its actors too heavily. It heaps too many implausibilities upon their trembling shoulders.”

“What was that? The Guardian? That same review… let me see. Aha! ‘while Stewart copes well as his pensive prison guard, constantly trying to act more tough than she is. It’s a role that reminds us what a fine performer she was in the likes of Into the Wild and Adventureland,’”—Rob growled at the last bit—“What the fuck? ‘before her turn as mopey Bella Swan steered her into a creative cul-de-sac.’”

“Why are you surprised?”

“’Mopey Bella’ … do these reviewers even understand the source material? Your Bella made those films worthwhile.”

“Rob, I love you, but you’re—you’re a bit biased. I’m the same way about you.”

He shook his head stubbornly. “Kristen, no. You’re biased about me, but I’m telling you completely objectively that any reviewer who has any negative remark about you in Camp X-Ray doesn’t know shit.”

“It doesn’t matter. I don’t care about the reviews for my performance. It’s the more negative assessments about the movie as a whole that are making me feel…” She shook her head and chewed her lip, feeling her eyes burn with unshed tears. She shrugged while looking into the camera, wishing they were so much closer than a fucking wireless connection. “I don’t give a fuck about what they say about me. I really care about this story… Sattler dedicated years to this project, and some fuck head can just watch it and call it ‘half-baked’ in less than a minute after viewing it. I feel like it’s my fault as a lead. Ugh. I know I’m being stupid.”

“Kris, you can’t help it. I know I can’t force you to be easy on yourself, but fuck ‘em. These reviewers don’t know shit about the creative process.”

She giggled at his angered curse.

“I’m serious. If I could abolish reviewers along with gossip rags, I would.”

“I don’t even know why I care at this point. Or why I even peeked.”

“Because you do care. You care more than anyone I know. You care so much that you infected me with your caring.”

“I infected you?”

“Yes, I was nothing but an apathetic fuck when you met me and you turned something inside me on.”

“Hmmmm… I remember your being more than an apathetic fuck,” she said with a knowing grin as she twisted the meaning of his words.

“That’s because you make me care, baby. On and off-screen, you make me care.”

She dropped the silly act at the earnestness she saw in his eyes. “Then yours is the only review I need to hear.”


	60. Could you write something about K being very sad about Gandolfini’s death and Rob decided to comfort her?

She was in a bar in New Orleans when her phone began to buzz. The first one she ignored, and she later felt ashamed about the reasons why and wished she could say that she didn’t remember them. Hold them close. But that first ignored buzzing in her back pocket was quickly followed by a swarm of bees from not just her phone but those of a couple of her friends that sent her carefully concealed imagination into overdrive. She thought the dread in her heart would cause it to slow to a thud as she fumbled for her iPhone, but instead it raced onward to the beat of not him, not him, not him, not him, not him.

Flashes of her father, her brothers, her extended network of “brothers,” and Rob. Always Rob. Her thoughts kept flitting back to his face, pale and nervous the first time their eyes met, private looks that became so familiar she could feel them with her eyes closed, and then blue eyes hidden behind shades the last time she saw him. Her brain flipped through the possible emergencies and her fear thrummed for one of them and all of them. Not him.

“Oh fuck, Kristen. I’m sorry, baby girl.” She heard one of her friends, but she was too busy staring at the news on her phone.

Dad: Don’t know if you heard or if you’re driving, but please call when you can.

Ruth: James Gandolfini has died. I’m sorry, K. I’ll give you time before we discuss releasing a statement. I know I know. Take your time.

Mom: Oh, honey, so sad about James. Too soon and still so much untapped talent. Give me a ring and we can talk.

The strange relief that filled her was quickly replaced with guilt as she scrolled through her messages. Not him, but someone, someone important to her. Someone who like most co-stars she hadn’t seen or spoken to recently but to whom she’d felt uniquely attuned. He got her and was confident in her capabilities even when she wasn’t entirely sure herself. She remembered how she wrestled with one scene in particular, never satisfied and how James never wavered, never grew impatient as she wrestled Mallory’s demons to find the truth in that scene. He never had to say it, but she knew she’d earned his respect in that moment. A giant, endearing bear of a man, he’d always had hers. He would always have it.

R: Are you driving?

K: No.

R: Where are you?

K: New Orleans.

She jumped up when her phone began to ring and gestured that she was going outside to her friends who’d been watching her while talking through their shock. She had no words for them right now.

“Kris? Are you alone?” She could hear his concern, and while she grieved, she still felt a pang of remorse for her relief at this man’s voice.

“Yeah, um, well, no, CJ and … I’ve got people, but I’m outside and I just…. fuck! What the fuck? Of all the people, and I’m here. I’m here where we first met and shit, Rob. Today, I seriously walked around and thought of him and ate at that little joint I told you about? We went there, like, every fucking day for a week. And just … we’d sit and talk. He listened to me in a scene and he asked me questions. Really big questions and he fucking cared about the answers. He was always thinking, but he was never twisting or judging…. He was like this great big…. he gave really great hugs, and I’m trying to fucking remember all the little things he said that I may have taken for granted. All I can think is…. Rob? Are you still there?”

“I’m here, baby. I’m listening. I wish I were there right now. I wish I could be with you.”

She bit down her lip to keep her chin from wobbling and swiped at her tears. “Yeah?”

He could hear the tears she was fighting getting caught in her throat. “Absolutely. Say the word, and I’m on my way. I need to hold you when you’re like this.”

“I want to smoke.”

“Then I’ll smoke with you.”

“No, no you’ve done so well with quitting.” She groaned and rubbed her eyes. “I’m sick of crying and losing people.”

“Who else have you lost, Kris?”

“Rob, I can’t. I can’t. I’m—“ She shook her head at herself. She was losing it in a parking lot. With a deep shuddering breath, she tried to stem the tide of sobs she could feel breaking against her bones. “I’ve got friends inside. They’re probably worried.”

He could sense she was done talking. “It’s okay. Just promise me you’ll let yourself cry or smoke or do whatever you need to do to live? James would’ve wanted it that way.”

“Even if it means getting his name tattooed on my wrist?”

“If that’s what it takes….” He laughed nervously.

“And you’ll still love me?”

“I don’t think I’m capable of stopping. Promise to text or call so I know you’re okay?”

“I can do that.” She’d wanted to talk to him above all others without a second thought and now she didn’t know what to say to end it even though she feared what they would say if they stayed connected. He may still love her, but she knew what it felt like to love someone without wanting them.

“Please. And Kristen? You’ve never lost me.”


	61. Rob gushing about his family during a magazine interview.  [Combining with this one: Future take: the Pattinsons have their first road trip; craziness ensues.]

Whether for radio, television, or print, the position of talking about himself to a stranger never got easier. Even with familiar faces in the press, he was always aware of the job. That they were all after that “AHA” moment or quote that his fans would squeal over or that his biggest critics would have a field day with. He smiled down at his sneaker with pen markings from his toddler to remind himself why he was there in the first place. He’d done Twilight for the slip of a girl who’d grown into a beautiful woman and his wife, but he finally caved and did his first campy adventure film for their son.

He glanced up, hoping the person Entertainment Weekly sent didn’t see his moment of weakness, but it was too late. The eager reporter was already staring at the hieroglyphic looking symbols and writing in her notes.

“What does that say?”

Rob hid his annoyance at the predictability with a cheeky grin. “It’s a new code I’m developing. Always a shoddy memory, so that says—“ he squinted as if reading the scribbled shapes—“remember to brush teeth. Oops.”

“Awww, you better get on that or no kisses from your wife today!”

“Oh, her? Nah! She’s all about my natural smells. I think it was somewhere in our vows. I was just brushing my teeth for the dentist.”

“Lucky dentist!”

“Psssh lucky wife. Mint smells horrible on me.”

“How do you get your kid to brush his teeth?”

“Easy.” He took a sip of his water. “Monsters. I tell him that monsters eat bad kids who don’t do everything their parents say, and that about takes care of it. Don’t want to pick up your toys?”

He mimed looking down at a smaller human, “Well, nice knowing ya, kid! Your ma’s done well to fatten you for the beasts!”

“And what if he refuses food after that?”

“Not that we’d need convincing to eat whatever she cooks, but have you seen that stare? We lick our plates and ask for seconds.”

“So she rules the house?”

“Definitely.” He slyly smiled then. “I definitely let her think she does.”

“She’s not going to like reading that!”

He knew exactly what she’ll do to him whenever she reads this interview, and he was counting on it. Everything was potential foreplay to him. Even press for a family film.

“Okay, okay, so you took a bit of a hiatus from acting. Two years. Why’d you pick this film for your comeback?”

“My comeback?” He shook his head laughing. “Was I gone? Judging from the paparazzi that continued to stalk us, I was still here. I was directing and enjoying my family. I never retired from acting. I don’t think we can retire, really. We’re either employed or unemployed.”

“Okay, so it’s not a comeback. Why’d you pick this one for your non-comeback to the front of the camera?”

“Obvious answer: my son. But I was also really thrilled with the script. I wouldn’t have kept reading otherwise. I’d read similar genre scripts before and passed, so I knew after reading Kevin’s, it was the one I’d been waiting for. I wanted something fun, and I wanted something my kid could watch in the backseat when we take road trips.”

“Take a lot of those?” She was the picture of calm, but she knew he was slowly opening up with the mentions of his and Kristen’s mysterious son, who was rarely photographed and whose name was still a secret. The amount of money for the person who had the kid’s real name nearly surpassed the amount going for his image.

He sipped his bottled water again and fiddled with the cap, considering how much more he wanted to honestly share. Well, fuck it. He grinned widely as the memory of their most recent road trip adventure came to mind. “We have.”

“What’s that look?”

“Well, we uh….” His eyes shined at the memory and his jaw nearly ached from his uncontrollable smile, “I’m going to get such shit at home for this, but … lately Kristen loves to listen to hip hop when she’s driving long stretches. And our son, he’s a sponge. He’s so quiet, but you can tell he’s observant even when he’s not saying much, and he loves movies.”

“Wonder where he gets that from?”

“Exactly!” His pride shone. He loved the similarities he’d begun to recognize between the miniature version of himself and his wife.

“Well, I put his headphones on his ears because I’m selfish and wanted to laugh at my wife rapping and maybe attempt to rap with her.”

“I can’t wait for that album to drop!”

“Oh, yeah, that’s coming up next month.” He giggled as he continued. “We start his movie and think nothing of it when we hear him say, “mommy dancin,’” because she was kind of dancing and we’re just like “aww that’s cute, that’s right, mommy’s dancin’,” and he puts his hands up like he’s dancing, too.”

“Awwww.” The reporter inwardly swooned a little at the clearly happy father and husband.

“But then awhile later he starts saying “mommy movie mommy movie” excitedly, so I look back at him and I realize he’s not looking at Kris at all! He’s staring at the screen behind her seat. I twist around to see, and there’s his mum as Marylou with Dean Moriarty on top of her…. He’d been quietly staring at On The Road the entire time!”

“Oh my god!”

“That’s what Kris said when she realized. One of our friends had borrowed the car last and we’d assumed B—his movie was still in there. I swear, we’re not usually such shite parents. We don’t think he realized what he was seeing. He just recognized his mum, but Kristen’s still freaked out about it. She triple checks DVDs now.” His shoulders shook with laughter.

“Oh you’re definitely in trouble for sharing that story.”

He smirked. “Worth it.”

“And that’s why you decided to star in a family film?”

“Oh, yeah, when I saw how excited he was to see his mum on-screen, my competitive nature woke up and I wanted that same reaction for something he could actually watch and understand.” He chuckled.

“Are you guys ever going to spill on his name? This has to be some kind of record.”

Rob glanced down at the table top, knowing he’d nearly slipped and lost the bet with his wife. He was sure the journalist knew it, too. He shrugged. “I’m not even sure at this point. Can you let me know when you find out?”


	62. Can you please write an rpf about Rob and Kristen’s reaction to the “me and Rob sorta kiss on screen and at work” vine that made the whole fandom go crazy today?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little impromptu mash-up with the present day by Chris and the italicized flashback by me.

“We were trending again,” he snickered into the phone, making her groan. “I’ve been dying for you to call. You didn’t answer my texts.” 

“I was working,” she grumbled. “I was inundated with messages.” 

“I bet you were,” he cooed. “Inquiring minds want to know.” 

Pulling the pillow over her face, she rolled her eyes and kicked her feet against the bed. “Know what?” She muttered; her voice muffled. 

“When we kissed on screen…uhhhhhh?” He let his words trail off, the question hanging between them, just as it was left on the video clip that had circulated. 

Kristen laughed and rolled from side to side, wanting to bite the pillow instead of answer. “Stop,” she whimpered. “How was your flight?” she tried to deflect. 

“I really want to know where you went with that.” He ignored her question and pushed her for an explanation, his voice soft and seductive in her ear. 

Blushing under the weight of the pillow, she shrugged, as if he could see her and groaned again.

“Sparks flew? You had a hard time controlling yourself? You wished you weren’t being filmed so you could take me down and rip my clothes off?” He teased her. 

“Oh yeah, Babe! That’s exactly what I said! See, you don’t need me to tell you. You already know!” She laughed, tossed the pillow away from her face and drew in a breath of fresh air as he chuckled through the phone. “Wait! Why did you even watch that?” She attempted to change the subject. 

“How could I miss it?” He answered and she could hear him take a drink of something. 

“You miss me so much, you’re lurking the internet?” She turned the tables on him and started to giggle when he swallowed wrong and started to sputter. “Admit it!” She poked at him some more, making him laugh harder. 

“You know it, Love. I was reduced to watching a Vine because I couldn’t make it another five minutes without seeing your beautiful face.”

Kristen downed anther glass of red, and she felt her tongue loosen around friends of friends—her new friends for the night. It felt nice to hang out and feel almost normal and uncaring (even of the woman making silly videos with her phone). They weren’t famous, but when in NYC, she was just another working person. Yeah, a famous working person, but a person with thoughts and experiences they couldn’t help to be curious about, and for once she didn’t feel defensive of that curiosity.

Maybe because they lacked the duplicitous motives of the red carpet hounds and the cockroaches hiding behind zoom lenses who would have no misgivings about treating her like a long lost friend one second and screaming that she’s a cunt in the next. The city at night made her forget that though, and she was just another person with a job and creative pursuits among fellow artists.

The woman she’d been trading stories with all evening asked another question about working in film. It was innocent enough. Something about relationships and kissing on-screen, and Kristen knew all about the complexities of the topic of kissing on and off screen while being in a relationship. She had five films worth of experience on that topic, and if they had their way, they would have more down the line in some far off fantasy when the aftershocks of those films had lessened somewhat. She brushed off her fears that the tremors would never dissipate and attempted to answer honestly.

“It’s not the same for everyone, but I’m soooo,” she started, trying to explain what it was like without falling into a massive word hole.

“Like, when me and Rob had to kiss on screen,” she started again no better than the first attempt. So much of the question was them, and there was no avoiding it. “It was different. Suddenly we weren’t AT WORK, and I found myself unable to—“ she felt grateful for the hair in her face and her snapback armor, yet still her knee bounced uneasily—“stop feeling wrapped up in that moment. It felt like forever before Catherine said cut, or maybe we didn’t hear her the first time? But when we did, we just looked at each other, like ummm so…. and then he laughed!”

“How awkward!” The woman laughed. “So, it’s never real on-screen unless it’s … real?

“No, when you’re a character with other characters, it’s something different, but I wouldn’t call it a lie either. It’s just that … when there’s something else there, you can’t hide within your part. I was in denial that it was remotely different from any other on-screen kiss for awhile, but it was different, and I wouldn’t change it. We couldn’t change it even when we stopped denying ourselves. It feels condescending to say it, but maybe it’s something that only actors can really know? And prostitutes?” She snickered at the joke that Rob would’ve likely made.

“Hmmm, it’s hard to wrap my head around the difference, but I don’t think it’s condescending. Who could possibly know the difference between reality and fiction better than two people who lived both and came out the otherside?”

“Exactly.” Kristen nodded and smiled into her glass. “Who could possibly?”

Nodding, Kristen smiled widely and closed her eyes, imaging he were closer. “I knew it,” she whispered. 

“What happened when we kissed on screen?” He tried to get her to fill in the blanks again. 

“I fell in love,” she sighed. 

“That’s what you said? While they were filming you?” He feigned shock. 

“You know it!” Kristen laughed as she sat up and pushed the hair out of her face. 

“You didn’t. You’re a tease!” 

“I told them it was different. I told them that it was hard to push us out of the way. I told them…” she faltered for a minute and brought her thumb to her mouth to chew on as she thought. “I told them I had to picture someone else so I wouldn’t get lost in the moment.” 

A loud laugh erupted from the phone. “You’re full of shit!” 

“Yeah? Why is that?” She chortled with him and flopped back against the mattress. “Because you didn’t picture anyone else and you totally got carried away!” 

“That was you, Rob,” she reminded him as she laughed harder. 

“You weren’t arguing, if I remember correctly.” 

She brought her giggles under control and shrugged again. “There wasn’t much I could do.” 

“Couldn’t or wouldn’t?” 

“Didn’t, because…” She admitted sheepishly, but didn’t finish her answer yet again. 

“Because you loved me,” Rob sang softly. 

“Yeah,” she whispered back and started to bounce her leg. “I kinda did…I really do.”


	63. picture prompt: rk outside with the OG

Kristen rolled her eyes and flicked the ashes off her cigarette as she listened to her boyfriend and friends debate who was the greatest rap crew of all time: N.W.A. or Wu-Tang Clan. She could care less who won, but she shook her head, laughing as Suzie dropped lyrics laced with profanity so extreme people who didn’t know the fluffy haired blonde would’ve been stunned.

“Well, you’re both wrong. Two words, motherfuckers! Public. Enemy.” CJ’s two cents caused everyone to groan as he sent a little “yeahhh boiiiii” into the night.

Kass looked over at the lively crew and shook her head before facing her sleepy eyed friend. “You do realize this debate could go all night.”

“Yeah, well…” Kristen’s eyes drifted in the direction of the man she’d publicly declared the most important person in her life. Scruff she wanted to feel and a backwards cap she planned to steal the next time they spent days apart. He looked at her then and even though she knew he couldn’t possibly read her thoughts, she saw him as clearly as he saw her and without a single word uttered out loud, he gave her a slight nod. She looked away and smiled slightly. “You’ll have to let us know how it ends.”

“Oh! So it’s like that, huh?” Kass grinned, happy for her friends.

Snuffing out her cigarette, the brunette only shrugged in response. Truth is she was nervous. She could tell that the hip-hop debate, or at least the portion that relied on Rob’s presence, was nearing an end, and her friends embraced him—both as a good-bye and a truce. He slowly made his way toward her and then partially blocked her from the view of the cameras they’d spotted and had hoped would leave before them. No such luck. Without a cigarette to occupy her hands, she immediately teased her fingers along his side under his shirt to calm both him and her. She wanted to press her lips to him, so she leaned further into his side.

The familiarity of the evening was as much a comfort as it was a drain for him, but her touch calmed and excited him. He tried not to think of the last time they’d found solace of each other’s skin. The last several weeks had been full of so many starts, stops, and words that they had to say without the possibility of take-backs. But tonight among trusted, easy-going friends felt different somehow. Instead of pulling away or going rigid, he relaxed into her touch and looked down. His need was reflected in her eyes, and he wanted to lose himself there.

“Ready to go?” He mouthed.

She let her hand at his side speak for her and without a word to their friends, the couple left for home.


	64. Picture prompt: photobooth manip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is super AU—as in RK meeting in a very different way and if TRL was still on air whenever this meeting occurs. Anyone else remember Total Request Live and that wondrous (to a fangirl) TRL photobooth? Since it would have to occur in a Post-Carson Daly era, I’m working with the notion that Josh H. would’ve been tapped to host, so that’s why his name is mentioned.

The MTV intern yammered on nervously to the tall, handsome Brit pegged as the next big thing out of England since Robbie Williams. She wondered if he knew Robbie Williams, if all Brits kind of know each other in that industry way that just happens incestuously, if his girlfriend (because of course a good-looking bloke—they call ‘em blokes right?—has a girlfriend across the Atlantic) screams Robbie during sex (lucky bitch), or if he’s one of those good-looking lads (they say lads, right?) that can’t deliver. She mentally tsk’d the shame of that. Boy was green, she thought. Clearly, dressed by the older woman who’d come in with him, he didn’t look comfortable dressed up and in a tie, but damn did the clothes look like they’d spent their entire factory made existence waiting for a man like him. If they didn’t hire her for being able to put one foot in front of the other as she gave celebs the rundown while mentally yanking their hair in ecstacy…. Oh, where was she?

“Josh will put you at ease. He’s great … you’ve seen the show, right?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “But first we need you to do a short segment before we go to a commercial. They do this thing with the photobooth, teasing about the upcoming guests and then the camera cuts to you guys in the booth. Really try to ham it up for the camera. They really like that.” She paused then to wait for a sign that he understood.

Rob nodded, swallowing nervously.

“Okay, good. We’re on in 15 and I think the other guest is already waiting. There she is.”

A few feet ahead, Rob could see a female figure with her back toward them. His brain shut down. He was only able to focus on one thing, and that wasn’t the intern with the grating voice. It was that ass… he tried to think of the perfect word for it… full, curvy, round, rotund… robust. Robust! The first thing he noticed was her robust butt. If ever asked about the first time he saw Kristen Stewart in person, he would say he first noticed her hair, but that would be a lie. The image of her ass concealed in incredibly tight jeans—jeans he cursed and loved more than anything but not more than that ass—was permanently burned into his retinas. It was only when someone called her name, causing her to turn around, did his world jarringly click into place. He was thankful his mother and sisters weren’t here because his gawking would’ve resulted in a smack and a lecture on manners. The ass in question belonged to his crush, the reason he was on his third DVD of Into the Wild (viewed solely for her scenes).

“Hey.” She held out her hand. “You must be Rob. I’ve gotta say, dude, I’m really looking forward to your film. I’m actually hoping to sneak into a theater at some point this weekend to see it.”

“Thank you. Wow. Thank you.” He dragged his hand through his hair. “Me as well. I mean, your film… it’s on my list to watch.”

“Really?” Her smile softened her raised eyebrow. “No offense, buy you’re not exactly the target audience for….”

“No, but umm, you’re in it, and I uhhhhh you’re one of the greatest actresses of your generation, so yeah, it’s on my radar. You’re on my radar. I love movies.”

She couldn’t stop her cheeks from turning pink as she studied him. He was handsome. Some would call him pretty, but she thought his face was too interesting to be just another pretty one. And she’d seen her share of pretty boys growing up in LA. He seemed genuine, and he reddened a bit from his own words. Her like for him grew a little bit more because of his flushed face.

“Okayyyyy.” The intern drawled, looking at the two of them with a mixture of confusion and disgust. “Now that you’ve had whatever that was, getting chummy in a photobooth should be no problem.”

Before Kristen could stab the other woman with her eyes, she felt a tug on her sleeve as the lanky Englishman redirected her attention and moved her along to the booth. “We should do something completely mad in here. Know any tricks?”

“Uhhhh… I can juggle.”

“You’ll have to show me that some time.” He squeezed into the tight space, and she followed with no choice but to sit closely with one leg nearly draped over his. Of all the fantasies he had that involved the young woman beside him—partially on him—he imagined the phone call he’d place to Tom, Sam, and Marcus immediately after this interview. “I know… what if we kissed? Like full on make out like they do at that award show?”

“Yeahhhh no. How about I play with your tie and when you ask me out later, we’ll see about kissing and making out?”

Oh, he could not wait to rub this in his friends’ faces, but more than that: he could not wait to kiss her. “Deal.”


	65. Just One of the Guys video requests

As she slid into the rented car, her phone began to buzz in from the back pocket of her jeans. She grinned while reading the missed text messages. Shaking her head, she vaguely replied to Rob’s questions about the video shoot. Jenny is AHHHH she’s fucking amazing! Still processing being in the same room with her. I don’t think I embarrassed myself too badly. And working with Brie, Anne, and Tennessee… it’s been a good fucking day, sir!

I figured it would be. And the video? Which song and what’s the concept? You said Jenny was directing, right? Is it a sexy vid? ;) – R

She rolled her eyes at his pervy boy brain and started to tell him the song title and then reconsidered her words. Hitting backspace, she rewrote her message. Yeah, J directed and we had a great chat about directing after wrap. I’ll tell you about it later. As for the vid, it’s a surprise. You wait like everyone else.

Seriously?! – R

Yep. Consider it payback, sucka. – K

One month later:

“Kristen!” She could hear his footsteps. She didn’t answer knowing that soon enough he’d likely find her in her favorite spot in the kitchen, skimming through recipes on various food blogs to plan her next kitchen experiment.

Not bothering to look up from the screen as he entered, she opened her mouth to ask him why he was hollering like a lunatic.

“Kristen!” The happiness in his voice made her glance up from the screen to see him with his laptop in hand. He showed her the screen, and she immediately recognized Jenny’s rainbow guitar.

“Have you watched it, yet?” She’d forgotten the video was going to be released today. She wasn’t embarrassed at all, but she didn’t want to be in the same room to watch him watch it for some reason. He’d seen her at her silliest and vice versa, but they always had this mutually anxious feeling before unveiling new finished projects to each other. She laughed nervously.

“Yeah…” His eyes crinkled with the force of his smile.

“And?”

“Fuck, I love it!” He sat beside her and placed his laptop on the table to replay. She groaned and looked upward as if she were in pain. “Don’t act like you’re not loving every second in this video.”

“Nope, it’s not that. I’m just mentally calculating how many times you’re going to play this in front of me.”

“You can consider it payback for making me wait.” He bumped his knee against her leg softly and nodded his head toward the screen where her stache’d bro-self danced and motioned toward the apex of her thighs where her metaphorical dick would hang.

She chuckled and ran her fingers through her short locks. “What?”

He stared at her with a small grin.

“I’m being, you know, all macho and proud of my junk.” She explained.

He continued to stare at her with a small grin.

“What!?”

“Nothing.” He shook his head, still smiling. “Is it weird that I’m proud of my girlfriend being all macho and proud of her junk? It’s just funny watching you girls channel having a—“

“Dick? Cock? Don’t be envious of our penis swagger.” She winked.

“Oh, I’m filled with penis swagger envy. Can you give me lessons?” He batted his long eyelashes.

She nodded all knowingly. “It’s okay, babe. I’ve got enough dick swag for the both of us.”

“Mmmm lucky me.” He leaned forward to kiss her, but her whispered question halted his movement.

“What’s it like to have a cock anyway?” He opened his mouth to be a smartass and ask her the exact same question but twisting the meaning of “have.” Her raised eyebrow stopped him. She knew exactly what he was about to say. “Is it uncomfortable to have that in your pants or do you feel … I don’t know, invincible?”

“Kris, I have no fucking clue how to answer that. I’ve nothing to compare it to except to say that I wasn’t joking when I said I was curious about what it’s like to have breasts. What’s that like?”

She giggled at the mental image of Rob with breasts and wondered if there could ever be a cause to see him in drag. There’s no such thing as never in Hollywood. “Okay, yeah, I get it. That makes sense that tits would be more comparable to having penis more than a vagina would be … for a man.” She rolled her eyes at the thought. “If only we could swap bodies for a day!”

He gave her a loud kiss on the mouth. “I’d love to Freaky Friday you!”

Seeing that the video had ended, Rob turned to hit replay again.


	66. can you do on where they get into a fight coz robs being too overprotective but they make up at the end. fluffy endings   Let her go - Passenger, I love this blog <3 thank you.

“Is that too much rum?” CJ frowned at the pan before pouring a bit more. “Arr, none such thing as too much rum for me bananas!”

Kristen shook her head. “Fuck, dude … did you want dessert or are you trying to burn the fuck out of my face?”

“So, what you’re saying is…?”

“That there is such thing as too much fucking rum and you surpassed it a cup and a half ago.” She gently moved him to the side to try to salvage their Bananas Foster. She’d be damned if this fool kept her from fulfilling her sweet tooth.

Just as her mouth opened to go over the importance of following a recipe to the exact measurement and precise ingredient, especially the first time you make something, the front door slammed.

“Oooh, Daddy’s home!” CJ squealed, causing Kristen to glare at him in warning. As funny as it was, it made Rob nervous whenever CJ called him dad, daddy, papa, or any variation on the terms for the patriarch of the house. Giving a quick salute, CJ mouthed, “yes, m’am!”

As they heard the tall Brit make his way through the house and up the stairs, they let out a joint sigh of relief, but they both felt a cloud of doom hanging over the house as it had been when Rob had grabbed his keys and left to drive away his thoughts hours earlier.

“Should I go?”

She let out a deep sigh before nodding and reaching to turn off the burner. Her sweet tooth would have to wait. While she could ignore the heaviness in her chest when he wasn’t under the same roof, it began to press upon her with each footstep and closing door. She wouldn’t be able to enjoy anything until they were on the same side again.

After saying goodbye to her friend who reminded her to keep her cool, she let out the dogs and started to clean the kitchen in order to collect her thoughts. Scrubbing each dish by hand to stretch out her chores, she wasn’t aware of Rob’s presence until she turned off the faucet and spun around to grab a hand towel. He’d been leaning against counter, quietly observing and trying to hold onto this ordinary vision of her in their home together: her hair twisted into a bun, short shorts mostly hidden under his white v-neck, and her little toes with red nail polish.

“I don’t want to fight.”

He nodded, running his hands through his hair, still wet from a quick shower.

“I don’t like it when you leave like that.” She looked him in the eye and willed her voice not to waver. “It makes me worry, and I realize—I realize that probably makes me the biggest fucking hypocrite to you.”

He looked down and smiled a bit. His mouth had opened to say exactly that, and she knew it.

“So, just text me the next time you’re so mad you have to leave, and I’ll text, facetime, call, email, every fucking kind of communication you need while I’m in Iraq, but Rob… I have to do this movie. I need to, and I need you to support that.” She held out hands in supplication, inviting him to speak. She said everything she wanted to say.

“It’s four months.” His jaw ticked. “I was gone for a few hours in LA. It doesn’t compare.”

“You’re right, but Rob, remember when you were all set to film there? I had fears, but not once did I discourage you.”

“Maybe you should’ve.”

“I’m … I can’t.” She worried her bottom lip as she searched his face for any clues. “What does this mean? You can’t be—“

“It means we have a rough four months ahead of us.” He moved closer to her grasp her hands. “And I’m going to hate every fucking second of it, but I support you.

“I love you.” She leaned up to kiss his chin. “I’m going to miss you every second. All that shit about texting, facetime, and everything, that’s for me, too. I’m going to need your strength.”

He moaned slightly into her kiss and felt his body stretch toward hers before pulling away. “Kris, you’re the bravest person I know. Who else could live with me?”

“I know,” she groaned and scrunched up her nose. “Promise me you won’t leave your dirty socks all over the fucking house. So gross.”

“Mmm, I’ll try to keep them under control, but you know how Bear likes to steal them from me.”

“Uh huh, Bear just happens to leave your shit everywhere?” He smirked and bit at her pointed finger to avoid her questioning bitchbrow.

“I give you three weeks before you’ll be missing my dirty socks.”

“And I give you one before you’ll miss my nagging you to pick up your dirty socks.”

“Eh, only because I love you.”

“Did you just ‘eh’ your love for me?” She pressed her fist into his stomach, teasing him with the idea that she could punch him for that and that it would hurt.

“No, I eh’d your nagging, dear.” He joked while tickling her sides and pulling her closer to him. He needed to store away these easy, silly moments that were simply them to get through the darker days ahead.


	67. Fluff/Humor? - an a r/k bedtime story, kind of

Kristen punched her pillow two times and shoved her face into the concave center with a scream. Her abrupt movements and groaning didn’t affect her dead tired bed companion. I thought the dead were silent, she thought bitterly with a small grin as she reached out to flick his nose.

The snoring paused, but before she let out a silent whoop in victory, it started up again with a loud, choking snort before settling back into a consistent rumble again.

She had tried to think of it like the ocean. When his snores startled her from her dream, she was happy to see he’d made it back home safely and closed her eyes to go back to sleep. She’d tried to think of Malibu or Hawaii and hearing the cracking of the waves against the shore.

She’d tried, but no amount of pretending could transform Rob’s snores into the sounds of the sea.

She moved in closer and stared hard at his face. This is the love of my life, she thought. She heard the warning of her mother about cohabitation, her mother’s laughter and words, telling her stubborn daughter that she’d see behind the curtain now. And Kristen understood what she meant, or she thought she understood what it meant, and she still had a vague inkling that it meant loving despite moments like this: tired and wanting sleep as the love your life got his and took yours. She leaned in, her face hovering over his, and carefully brushed his hair away from his forehead. In the darkness, she studied the skin of his eye lids, his slightly crooked nose, and his mouth—his mouth, at times so kissable red and soft and she could almost see herself viciously, lovingly biting down on his lower lip, so he’d wake with a yelp. She imagined pressing her fingers together and easing her fist into his mouth and down his throat like a snake without even waking him. She imagined pinching his nostrils as her brother did to one his friends who’d passed out while watching a movie when they were kids or smothering his snores with a pillow or maybe even just smacking him awake with one. Counting the real and surreal ways she could inflict her tired, little love like sheep, she held back a laugh at what Rob would make of her thoughts if she told him. Her internal amusement ended as she considered what thoughts she’d never know of his. She let out a breath.

“You are the love of my life,” she said to his snoring, open mouth. “I hate you right now, but you are it.”

She fell back against her pillow, closed her eyes, and at some point well past midnight, she found her way back to her dream.


	68. q&a fic request: FLUFF guitars bear play

The pup’s tail wagged as his head tilted, his tongue hanging out in curious excitement. One of his humans sat, cross-legged, with an acoustic in her lap.

“He’s going to try to bite the strings. Or my fingers.” Kristen thought of how her friend’s dog reacted to the sound of live music.

“What? No! He wants to hear you play. He loves your fingers. We love your fingers, don’t we?” Stretched out near the foot of the bed, Rob laughed at his own dirty mind and leaned forward to scratch Bear’s head. He received a distracted lick to his palm, and their dog focused on the wooden instrument in her lap. The inedible bone that had made a noise earlier. He whimpered, waiting. “C’mon, play something.”

She glanced from her boyfriend to their dog, and she wasn’t sure whose eyes looked more eager.

“Uhhhhhh.” She strummed a note with her eyes on Bear and not the barely dressed, messy haired man on her bed, which had been their bed for several weeks now. She preferred not think about that meant. If he was okay, then she was okay. “Shit. I don’t know.”

She still felt nervous playing around him as just herself and not as Tracy on a screen singing of angels in Montgomery to a boy who would leave her for a greater adventure. She’d taken in a few shows and private sessions of Rob and his friends, but she still felt embarrassed playing in front of them, which often made them cajole her into playing even more. They were supportive and kind. They were musicians and had no problem improvising and riffing off of each other. They seemed fearless and unnaturally skilled at simply trying.

She knew the songs she knew, and that was it. But to just play and not think of what each note would become, not care if it became anything at all? To be okay with fucking up with a witness? She envied that freedom. She tried to stop herself from overthinking it and stared at Bear’s tail, thumping against the bedding. With a deep breath, she let herself play anything, nothing in particular, but something matching what she felt in that moment—fear and contentment.

“Wow.” Rob licked his lower lip when she reached the end of whatever that was several minutes later. “Where was that hiding?”

“Huh? What do you mean?” Kristen shrugged and smiled a little at his reaction. She was pleased he was impressed until she saw the phone in his hand. “Did you record that?”

“No… well, not all of it.” He grinned at her narrowed eyes.

“Bear! Attack!” She motioned for the dog to go jump on Rob, but only succeeded in securing sloppy doggy kisses for herself. She squealed and struggled to protect the instrument from jumping paws.

“No use, woman! My son is on my side. You’ll thank me when we write the words.”


End file.
